Dealing with spiritual blockage

[Secret]

I haven't been on the site in a couple of years I don't think. Last time I found alot of superiority and kind of bitchiness and it put me off. But I like the topics and I still use to main site so I'm giving it a go again. Ok well last year was really very hard for me. I'm still very fragile and emotionally sensetive over this. I also had a lot of things dumped on me and was left to handle that with no outlet. So through having too much going on I neglected my spirituality too much. I need some healing and I'm trying to get back on track but I'm having some difficulties.

I used to do alot of meditation and candle and herbal magic. I've been trying with meditation again but there's kind of a blockage. When I used to meditate I would first concentrate then I'd get to a very relaxed state, and then in time I'd feel a sort of disconnect and and fall into a meditative state. Now when I try to when I get to the falling stage my mind won't let go and I just fall out of it. One other thing that happened a couple of times was I'd start to disconnect then feel as if I was physically falling and my body would jerk out of that state.

It's frustrating me because the issues I've been through are now out of my control but it's as if my mind won't let me move on and heal. I know that the problem is pretty obviously that I have too many things going on in my head. I have unresolved issues and unresolved emotional damage and no closure. I find my spirituality healing and so I'm not sure where to go from here. I feel kind of tapped out and needing to recharge.

Does anyone have any input on this? Or ways to push through this?
I'm really at a loss and I feel it's effecting my health and wellbeing.
Thanks so much for reading!

[Earth Ritual]

It sounds like this time around you are going deeper and what I get is to Trust.

Before you meditate affirm a Spiritual principle such as "Spirit holds me and guides me completely, I am safe, it is safe to let go, and everything that happens, everything, happens in my favor. " Usually repeating three times sends the message to the subconscious and saying everything twice is another subliminal signal.

Sometimes meditation is a journey. One type of meditation I do is to invoke the Spirit then descend into whatever is going on in my body and allow it to fully express itself. Sometimes I end up transforming into an animal, other times I am absolutely enraged, and other times its grief or terror or ecstasy. The result of the journey should be an increased flow of energy.

Hope this helps.

[Stephanie Mae]

Does anyone have any input on this? Or ways to push through this?
I'm really at a loss and I feel it's effecting my health and wellbeing.
Thanks so much for reading!

Like you said in your post, you have unresolved issues. Resolving the issues would obviously give you closure, but if the issues are not capable of being resolved.....You have to be able to look at them as lessons in life and move forward, use that as your resolution.

Ultimately, I would recommend you see a professional that specializes in Soul Retrieval. If your in Colorado, I would be able to help you with Soul Retrieval. If not then PM your location and I could point in the right direction as far as someone credible in your area.

[Secret]

Thanks for the quick responses guys.
I'm not familiar with Soul Retrieval but I'm gonna look it up. Unfortunately no I live in England but thanks for the offer. Right now I've distanced myself from the situation as much as possible, I'm seeing a therapist right now which I think will also help. Basically I'm really hurt and it's all of the time but most of the time I can suppress it but in rituals and meditation you kind of need to be clear of that toxic energy. I've always been a firm believer in karma. I feel sort of let down by that concept. Even my therapist said I've been a very unfortunate victem of other's cruelty. I don't know what I've done to deserve that. Especially lately. I guess I'm also very bitter about it too but it's something that's effected every part of my life and thought pattern. I'm really struggling with this and I feel like it's broken me and this person doesn't know or even give a damn. I feel as if I'm mentally sick and I'm getting help for that but I also feel like, who wouldn't be sickened if this happened?

But what I really, really want and what I need is to gain control over my own mind again, I don't see it happening. I can't eat or sleep and I know that that effects my health and wellbeing so much. That's what I'm getting help for though. I honestly can't see any changes happpening for the best which is devastating and extremely frustrating.

It'd be so nice if we were able to just cast a spell and wipe a memory out. But I'm not stupid.

[Marigold]

Just to let you know that I understand your feelings, I have also been through a very tough period for almost 10 years now.

I did happen on a book that gives ideas about meditation and self soul retrieval which I found a bit helpful, but there is still a very long road to go.

Years ago, I had a another very difficult time period, although not so long term or intense. At that time, what thoroughly helped was to physically move to a new location, meet new people and start on a new life path. It worked wonders and for the next literally 30 years, while not perfect, things went quite well. Ironically, this past 10 years actually stemmed from something in that initial place of residence which definitely makes you go hmmm. Very very unfortunately, I am not in a place where I can just pick up and go elsewhere at this point in my life.

In any case, what I am saying is that if possible, think about moving to a new place, new job, new people etc. The less reminders you have about this past experience,the better able you will be to move on. A new environment can just work wonders.

With respect to karma, sometimes it doesn't seem to work, but, I have also seen situations in which it can take years for it to come around. Eventually it usually does so don't assume that this person will never incur consequences.

Believe it or not, candle and herb magick actually got me out of a lot of the devastation that happened a few years ago. I have not gone back to it too much because I got exhausted and to this day, I don't think I have found the root cause of this. Not finding the root, has resulted in the solution to one problem becoming a problem in and of itself. I found myself constantly getting trapped in a cycle.

Believe me, I totally get the feelings of feeling broken and a shell of your old self. I truly believe I have post traumatic stress disorder of which depression and feelings of hopelessness are quite common. Soul retrieval, as Mae said, is very good for this. Truly, when you are victimized, it does feel as if someone has stolen the very core of your being and it is your right to get it back.

[Secret]

Thanks for your reply I haven't signed on for a few days. I think that's actually helped, not coming on the computer that much and I've been meditating more and bought a bunch of new candles, I feel a bit more rejuvinated. What I'm trying to do which is difficult, is to make me my main focus, I get distracted by others alot. Much like the way recently I was able to move on from that person was by meeting someone who seems better... the thing is I don't want to get attatched to people in a situation where I could get that hurt again. I vow to not let that happen. I've done a few spells after having felt more rejuvinated and I was more in control of it, less distracted, more focused.

I think it helped to put it into words to get that negativity more diffused. Thanks for your guidance and Marigold good luck I hope you can stay strong.