Social anxiousty

[Traumwandlerin]

*sigh* yeah, I do have social anxiousty issues, which is not nice at all, since I also have a great need for friendship and talking and stuff ^^ But I'm working through it with meditation and it already got a lot better. So I thought I share it with you. Maybe it's helpful to others.

Everyday I take about 20 to 40 minutes to meditate. First I watch a candle without blinking, till my eyes burn and I need to close my eyes. After a few times I feel my eyes are rolling backwards which is the sign to me that I'm going down into trance. You can use any trance induction you like.

Than I use a trance deepener: I lie on the ground and feel my body, touching the ground, growing into the ground, connecting with the spirits, the energy and everything. I grow until I get dizzy and am able to hold the feeling of spinning really fast. But also, you can use everything you like and gets you in the right mood.

Since I work with fears and angst I need a good grounding and it's important to be to feel how I really grow into the earth and be connected all the time.

Then I start to recite my mantra. I use something like

With everyday I'm feeling more and more comfartable talking to other people. It can be a nice experience to just have nice companion. It can feel nice to connect to other people and you can be able to relax with others around. You can feel the relaxation and it can be an overall nice experience which some people actually seek out. You can do this to and the wish grows in you with everyday to be more social and while the wish is growing you feel even more relaxed and happy in companion with others

Which is only a rough translation, but you probably recognized the language pattern. I learned Miltonian language patterns, which really improved my mantras.

After the mantra, I'm even more relaxed and in Trance and then I visualize situations from the near past or the near future where I can use my new skills of "just like being around others", "be curious, nice and relaxed around others" "have nice small talk which leaves a nice feeling inside me". The trick is to use situations which actually happened but could improve (not to bad experiences since the panic will increase relaxation and will lead to negative response and even will achieve the opposite) or which will happen tomorrow so you know what you could do the next day

After that I recite the mantra again.

Before I started with this meditation I had some meditations seeking out, what I want to feel instead of fear, so I have a goal I can feel and visualize. I would also recommend some technics to get to know where this fear has his origin, so you can relieve the pain which is imprisoned there (more energy to you) and also you can make your mantra more powerful by realizing that today is really something different than the past.

Good luck to everyone, especially those who are afraid of going out since they could actually meet someone

[Peregrine]

Wow. I almost never go beyond the candle step you describe. Yes, my eyes get a bit watery, too.

My approach is that I focus on the candle and find one word, a key word, that could apply to my situation. I make visuals in my mind while I repeat this one chosen word. For example, in the situation you describe, I would be repeating a word such as "confidence" over and over again while I see myself as confident. Neither a wall-flower nor a loud obnoxious backslapper, I just see myself as relaxed, composed, and interacting with confidence.

Glad you brought this up as I have been reclusive ever since my own issues over the past few years. Back then, the word was "resilience" as in a quick recovery. I "saw" lava from volcanoes destroy everything in sight (the way I felt at that time) while projecting the beauty and quick growth that occurs from the rich fertile ground that is produced after it all cools off, the wind and the birds carrying the seeds to the ground to let new things grow.

Question: What does "Miltonian" mean?

[Traumwandlerin]

Hi Peregrin,

Miltonian comes from Milton Erickson who was the founder of modern hypnotic therapy. He invented some kind of language pattern where you ease someone into deep trance. His language pattern just comes naturally to me, I was kind of surprised when I found out and of course than learnt how to do it even better. I'm kind of an intuitive hypnotist who can lead people into deep trance. Just without any training, but now I'm learning with some experts to better my skills there.

Hehe. I think it's sufficient to just stare at the candle and repeat one word. But I also think my method is waaaaay more fun and works a bit faster for me. You know, when I just stare at the candle and repeat a word, I would be so bored after 5 minutes I would stop and never tried again Also with this meditation I had the first succes the day after and I'm one who needs fast success and fun at the same time ^^