Self-Dedication? Should I or no?

[Nightwatcher]

So, the last week or so, I've been experiencing some things that are making me wonder if maybe I'm ready to self-dedicate to Artemis. Let me explain.

The last week, whenever I think of my Lady, I feel a deep, gentle warmth in the center of my chest and I feel like crying from happiness. I know this feeling because I've felt it before; love. Learning about my Lady, doing research and understanding Her more... it soothes me and makes me content and happy. The last few days I've had almost like daydreams or fleeting thoughts of running into the Goddess' arms and having her hold me like a mother would her child.

..crap, even now I'm kind of tearing up from joy at the thought...

However, I'm a bit afraid. It's a big commitment, one not to be taken lightly. I'm also not very good with authority; I'm quite wild like my Lady herself. ^^; But the biggest worry is... that She'll reject me. I know that's illogical but I'm just afraid she will because I'm, emotionally, "damaged goods". My Lady is strong, a warrior and protector. A leader. I like to think I have the same qualities but because of what's happened to me before... I'm scared She'll turn me away because I'm not strong enough or brave enough for Her.

So I'm wondering what your take is on these feelings? But also, for those who HAVE self-dedicated or formally dedicated in a coven, what did it feel like? And, if you're willing to share, what did you do?

Thank you.

[Siona]

Only you will really be able to tell if or when you should do a dedication. You're right that it shouldn't be taken lightly, oath-breaking is a big no-no in a lot of pagan cultures, Greek included. There are different 'levels' of dedication, so to speak, and it's good to think about what devotion means to you, and the specific impact that's going to have on your life and practice. Some people feel it's best to spend a year or more in active practice devoted to deity before doing any formal dedication or commitment to that deity, but that's just a guideline.

It can also be good to consult your deity about a possible devotion, and what they expect of you. (Or even what dedication to a deity looked like in their cultural context.) This might also help relieve any worries about being rejected - although, really, I think if this were the case the deity likely wouldn't be in your life at all. I think it's definitely something to work through before doing a formal devotion, since to me it seems like something you wouldn't want to have serious doubts or worries about going into it.

(Edit: I would also add that it's also totally possible to be devoted to a deity without ever doing such a formal dedication, and many people choose not to do them for all sorts of reasons, like it's not part of their tradition to do so, or because they feel it unnecessary because their devotion comes in other ways. Just something else to consider.)

[Nightwatcher]

Only you will really be able to tell if or when you should do a dedication. You're right that it shouldn't be taken lightly, oath-breaking is a big no-no in a lot of pagan cultures, Greek included. There are different 'levels' of dedication, so to speak, and it's good to think about what devotion means to you, and the specific impact that's going to have on your life and practice. Some people feel it's best to spend a year or more in active practice devoted to deity before doing any formal dedication or commitment to that deity, but that's just a guideline.

It can also be good to consult your deity about a possible devotion, and what they expect of you. (Or even what dedication to a deity looked like in their cultural context.) This might also help relieve any worries about being rejected - although, really, I think if this were the case the deity likely wouldn't be in your life at all. I think it's definitely something to work through before doing a formal devotion, since to me it seems like something you wouldn't want to have serious doubts or worries about going into it.

(Edit: I would also add that it's also totally possible to be devoted to a deity without ever doing such a formal dedication, and many people choose not to do them for all sorts of reasons, like it's not part of their tradition to do so, or because they feel it unnecessary because their devotion comes in other ways. Just something else to consider.)

Thank you Siona. I began my studies officially on June 1st of this year, so a year and a day would be June 2nd of next year. I think I'll wait until then and decide. I've just never felt such intense feelings when thinking about Lady Artemis before and it really suprised me!! So I was wondering if it was a sign but I was probably jumping the gun again and looking too much into its meaning. ^//^;