Pointless but strange...

[IceDragonX]

So last night I had a dream and I was at my parents house (its trying to be sold right now) and I remember us talking about how the skateboard she got me was a bit too small (it looked like the shape of a jesus fish and the wood color of a chedder goldfish cracker...). By the way...I couldnt skateboard for my life...so I have no idea where the skateboard came from. I dont roller skate either and havent attempted roller blading for over 7 years.

So we went to my car and we were arguing about how my mom had put all this random stuff in the truck bed. Then I woke up.

In the dream, I identified that car as mine...but that was actually my ex's truck. It was a blue ford truck. It was huge becuase it had pretty big tires. My ex was not in the dream, but his car was.

What does this mean?

I know Ive been trying to move on as much as possible lately, but I continue to think of him regardless. Im not sure if its a symbol of me moving on or a sign that he might come back in my life in some way.

Either way, opinions would be nice. I know the dream sounds pointless, but out of all the dreams I do have, this one seem to stand out.

[[DarkWoman]]

Wow!
Well, here's my attempt. What does skateboarding mean to you or how to you associate with the act? For me it means skill, athleticism, smooth sailing (skating) and things of that nature. Now I dream of my ex all the time... thankfully, I don't see him. I may see his family members though, so your dreaming of his truck may not necessarily mean you're going to see him.

On the other hand, sometimes our dreams bring up things that we think about before going to sleep mixed in with other things.
For example, I read the Mists of Avalon a while back, and had a dream (which didn't include me) but it's theme was centered around one of the main story lines in the book, only it took place in my neighborhood. It could just be that your ex is still on your mind, so is the house, and maybe you saw a movie where someone was skateboarding. When my dreams puzzle me, I think, think, think about all of the possible connections. If I'm still stumped, I try a reading, which usually tells me what's going on. Does that help or give you any ideas?
DarkWoman

[IceDragonX]

You know, I think skateboarding is a cool thing, I always wondered if I could ever do it. To me, it means balance more than anything else. But then again, I have been watching a lot of "Rob and Big" lately and it features a skateboarder and his body gaurd. Although I wasnt watching that show that night or for a few days actually.

If we are basing it off of your interpretation, I would think that maybe I do not have enough balance in my life? Or something of that nature. lol. that is the only clue I might have. Great to think about though. You are going to have me thinking about that all day!

[Sobek]

i think you've already interpreted the dream. i have my own way to do it but basically i think you already said it all.

i think the main focus is the car. because in the dream, your reflection of the dream, and how you mention it for us.

you then go on too say

"but I continue to think of him regardless"

i relate this to how when someone leaves they usually leave something behind( i know a person would have to be really stupid to forget a car but bear with me) and the way you talk about it all tells me that the car shows lingering feelings which you did in fact mention

its not really my business but with this,
"Im not sure if its a symbol of me moving on or a sign that he might come back in my life in some way."

are you somewhat hopeful, that this fellow will come back into your life?

[IceDragonX]

That makes sense sobek, I never thought of it that way but Im not very hopeful that he will ever return. I gave up on that a while ago. Sometimes I wish he would, but I know he wont. Ive thoroughly convinced myself to not contact him and try not to think of him because, it still hurts for some reason.

My mind is telling me its hopeless and he will never return. So I should leave it behind and find some one else. Besides that, he has become a very selfish person who has turned cold. I can not afford such a person in my life at this stage where Im trying to move towards happiness.

My heart is telling me that I just wish we could at least talk about it, if we never got back together again. So at least I would know what happened to us. The relationship ended with many questions as to why, so the difficulty of moving on is with me everyday. I wish I could simply forget, but the wound is still too fresh.

That is the gist of it.

[Sobek]

i hope my interpretation helped in some way. and im glad you've decided to move on, but do feel bad because you feel pain, feel good because it's worth something.

it takes time to heal the wounds of love, and a rainbow just wont cut it.

[IceDragonX]

Ya I agree, your interpretation did bring help and prespective into what the dream might have been about. It does make sense, the car being a symbol of some sort of something left behind. I think the most I remember of him is when we were his car, becuase we were in his car a lot driving around to wherever we wanted to go.

[[DarkWoman]]

I just want to sympathize with the fact that you feel as if there is no closure. A lot of people talk about the need for clousure when ending any ongoing endeavor or project in their lives. Or especially, relationships. Sometimes we don't have that luxury, so we must create the closure for ourselves. Even though we can't expect a miracle healing over night, we can take each moment and focus on what makes us happy, grow, learn, and move foward in life instead of focusing on the need ofr closure. It only makes the empty space feel emptier. Instead, fill that empty space with something positive and constructive. I know this is straying from the topic, but I wanted to say that.
DarkWoman

[IceDragonX]

Thanks for the advice darkwoman. I realized after a while through a lot of pain, that closure will not come and I have to do it myself. I thought I had that closure by writing my final letter to him and leaving the situation. That good feeling lasted for a week before I felt bad. I knew I made the right decision, but I was sad to depart none the less. I guess, maybe that was only half of the healing. I try to keep myself busy and am currently trying to work towards the future I want.

It is just when I am alone with nothing to do or I watch my roomates happy with their new girlfriends (I live with boys) that makes it difficult to forget or think less of it. Right now, I just preoccupy myself with whatever I can. That is the only thing I feel I can do at this point. I am praying time will eventually wipe away the pain. I think this relationship might take a while to get over since it was a long one with a very strong bond. I know it will get better eventually, its just a matter of when and how.

[[DarkWoman]]

Working through pain isn't easy, but you're on the right track. We all have to do it, and it hurts...but I really, truly believe that it makes us stronger. (Insert Sobek's above words of wisdom here) This is really a good time for inner work, self reflection, soul searching, and things of that nature, but I don't think you need anymore advice since you're handling things so well.
DarkWoman

[IceDragonX]

Yeah I agree with the self-reflection part and soul searching. Im still working on a few things I rather keep under control. Defintely not perfect, but who is? I just want to be a better person to everyone, including myself. I havent really been my best friend all of these years and I think that is what hurt me the most. Its made me a talented person in art, writing and such, but its also hurt my spirit.

I am working with that right now, its been good, but I still tend to fall every now and then. I work with a counselor now to bring perspective into my life. The best road is never the easiest to take, that is the struggle of everyone in life. I am young though, I have time to fix it. I dont want to live the way I lived before anymore, I want it to be better.