school

[kittiekat93]

he is so hot and nice and everything awesome he always looks at me when he thinks im not looking lol i am always looking at him.. we make eye contact all the time. but im pretty sure he really doesnt like me.. even if he did we are wayy too different he is popular and i am pretty much a social outcast. we would get lots of dirty looks if we started going out, i already do.

[Sobek]

and thats exactly the attitude that will keep you down in the dirt. your a social outcast because you let them make you so. and if you care about what other people think of you than thats your own un-doing.

[Sercee]

Sobek's right. Seriously, if you like him and you think there's a chance that secretly he might like you too (you keep saying he does then he doesn't) then ignore what everyone else thinks and strike up a conversation with him. By showing that you don't need their validation for you to be happy then it makes you that much stronger.

[IceDragonX]

he is so hot and nice and everything awesome he always looks at me when he thinks im not looking lol i am always looking at him.. we make eye contact all the time. but im pretty sure he really doesnt like me.. even if he did we are wayy too different he is popular and i am pretty much a social outcast. we would get lots of dirty looks if we started going out, i already do.

Kittiekat93 - The way you speak of yourself is what is keeping you from getting anything you want in life. You seem not to think highly of yourself and underestimate your potential as a great person.

Listen...if you think you are a social outcast, you already created the attitude and atmosphere for people to see you that way. You react to people and situations as a social outcast instead of some one who could be happy with who they are. People only react to you the way you already think of yourself.

The more you care what people think, the worse you feel. You are worthy of anyone and everyone's attention. There is no need to put yourself down or below anyone for any reason, no matter who dislikes you. Do you think popular pretty girls have it all?

I gaurentee you they are way more self-concious and insecure than you will ever be. They have to play up to what is considered "the norm" and have little ability to handle it if people all of a sudden turned on them. You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for and much prettier than you might think. Do your best to take care of yourself, take self pride and believe that you are worthy of respect, love and appreciation and you will be much better off. Those that dont like you, you dont need in your life. You can be with this guy if you really wanted to, he just needs to get to know who you really are beyond the defenses you are putting up. The "I know he hates me" "we are too different" and "hes popular and Im a social outcast." These are all excuses for really acheiving what you want. When you take a risk, there is always a chance you might get hurt. But it is better to take a risk than have to wonder.

[[DarkWoman]]

I hated high school too and I'm glad I'm in college and its over. Trust me, just stay on top of your grades and aim for a scholarship. Know that those people will learn their lessons of sensitivity when they need to. Most likely after school when they realize they are everything they laughed at.

Icedragonx, I don't think that minorities hang together to be cliquey, I think that they hang together for cultural reasons. They can identify with each other. It is hard to be different in any way shape or form in this society (as Pagans we should know this) so being a minority is one of the many differences from the so-called "norm". Just thought I'd state that.
DarkWoman

[IceDragonX]

Oh I wasnt saying it was a bad thing to be a minority and be together in a group. I was just stating how it was in my high school. I am actually half asian and hispanic. So I dont know where I identify with. I identify most with asians, but all my friends are everything, but asian. I understand your point though. However, I know a lot of minorities only stick with that group becuase they grew up with that group. Their parents all know each other so they always associate with only that group. Most of the time its between friends and cousins. I know I often saw a group of asian friends because of my mom (even though we never hanged outside of when my mom visited her friends).

[[DarkWoman]]

Oh okay, I see your point of view. I really wish that there could be more cultural acceptance worldwide, but that's another thread altogether. But I do understand what you were saying now, thanks

I think that we all have this hatred for high school thing in common. I didn't elaborate, but it was an understanding that I had for everyones differences (I mean emotional differences) that made me different. Almost like an outcast. I seemed to understand more about human nature and mistakes, but the students in my school would never let anyone forget a mistake. Even stupid things like falling on your face in front of hundreds of peers... you can't live for a whole year after that.

I got into a lot of fights with the girls at my school because they were katty and jealous. (No I don't have a big head.) If you hold your head up high, they bring you down (or try to) 'cuz how dare you be happy and like yourself!!!! As if!!!!!

I got into verbal arguments with guys because they thought just because a girl really liked them and slept with them that they were hoes...bull crap!!!! You idiot she liked you, although its hard to see why and you tricked her..... (This scenario is really really common and a major reason why I tell younger people to wait. Even the guys my age make it a contest to see who can get into who's pants first... sad.)

High school life seemed to be like a reality show gone wild with the celebrities, head boy and girl, and the underlings who were always trying to be like/with them, the paparatzi (sp?) students who knew every move the celebs and head people would make. Everything that they (celebs, etc.) thought was good, was good, and everything they hated and made fun of, became universal truths as far as the students were concerned...

Its soooo sick. This follow-fashion type of thing, but I think this is (for the time being) a rite of passage for us. We go through it and learn more about how we are and who we really want to be. By seeing so much ugly, and maybe by experiencing hurt because of it, we learn not to treat people that way in the future, so as not to cause them the pain that we suffered. Just my oppinion.
DarkWoman

[Wolf*]

eesh...I'm in highschool...with 2 years left of it..woulda been one year but nooo, I got lazy...well, anyway, what I'm saying is that I know what you mean. Highschools a bitch and theres no way around it unless you quit, but thats not too bright a move.

I'm tossed into the "goth" clique, so its kinda a given that everyone hates me because of their own stupidity and ignorance, especially since I'm pagan and in a bible belt state. Just a few days ago this guy just came up and waylaid me in the jaw for no reason and busted part of my tooth out. So yes, highschool sucks sweaty monkey balls, and it will continue to do so. Just grin and bare it, and try not to stoop down to their level. If they start fussing at you, smile and walk away. And if they continue harrassing you, do the same thing, smile and walk away.....and have a curse or servitor or something on standby to make their lives a living hell.

And I don't wanna hear shit about "you should tell a teacher!". f*ck that. I've tried that approach for years and they just look the other way like nothing happens. The system is flawed, and you should by no means rely on it. Not saying it doesn't work sometimes, but damn its rare when it does. Sometimes you have to create your own retribution and topple the insects in your way.

[A_light_on_the_water]

Yeah so um I guess most of you guys went to some shitty high schools. Cause like, when I was in it, most of the 'popular' people were accepting, occult-friendly teens. Although, they were some serious gossipers. Like my new made up words? I personally loved high school to bits. And I hope I don't turn out like those people who wish they were 16 again. o_O

[A_light_on_the_water]

yeah so I write back again because now I read all the replies of everyone. Ok, soo like. Yeah. I don't know how to like say this or something but I was so horrible to people at my high school. I think I made at least 3 people's life hell everyday because they knew when they walked into the classroom they knew Michael and I would tease them. Then say we were kidding. Then tease them again. I knew I was wrong and was going against what I was raised to do. But at the damn it seemed so damn funny. Anyway, I think what most teenagers who make fun of others lack the strength to be thoughtful and empathetic. I wont see those people again, but I still want to apologize. I know that personally I was self concious to smoke, dye my hair on a regular basis, and really just smell and look good. I feel I should get that out. I'm a nice person I swear. But last year I was the BIGGEST asshole with like michael, Megan, and Stefanie. I'm sorry some of you have to put up with shit. But you have what I and so many lacked. The freedom to live like you should.

[Sobek]

oddly enough i dont think we went to the wierd schools, ive never heard of a school where people are so accepting unless they are all the same. generally the people at my school were decent, in the later years of school life anyway.

[IceDragonX]

DarkWoman - It is pretty much a rite of passage...unfortunately I pretty much made myself as invisible as possible my years of high school. I didnt want to be a part of the drama or get picked on, so I stayed away from most of it. Even then, I still endured a few blows from immature students. I guess everyone has to deal with it at some point, right? There were quite a few people I actually wanted to sock in the face, but never did for certain reasons. Although my junior year, being president of the art honor society was the worse decision I ever made. Never hold a position of honor in high school...its so unfulfilling unless the majority of your helpers are your friends. My senior year was pretty good though I would have to say...I had a lot of fun that year.

---------

A Light on the Water -

Teasing others is really not funny at all if you look at it through their eyes. I would advise that if you are a nice guy, you should act like it. High school is really a time where kids are learning to become adults. So everyone does tend to make mistakes. That being said, you probably don't know the situations of certain people that may have had a shitty day or even life and you just made it shittier. You might end up pushing somebody over the edge. That occurance is rare, but more common than people realize. I hope you no longer do that and have become a better person. There is really no reason to intentionally tease/pick on/or bully some one just becuase it is "funny." I always go by this easy rule, how would I feel if that happened to me? I would say from experience, I would be quite pissed and feel down.

I am not trying to scold you or be mean, I understand you are regretful. But regret doesn't mean a thing if you continue the action, especially under peer pressure. Friends play a big role in making people do things they normally wouldn't do. Your actions, however, are always your own and can not be blamed on others. Be grateful you don't need to deal with those issues and pass on the positive energy by being a good person to those that are.

[A_light_on_the_water]

Well, peer pressure isn't exactly an issue if I'm out of school. Hint, usage of my past tense words. And I think the fact that I said I regreted it in the first place clearly shows that I have the knowledge that what I did wasn't nice, and was wrong. Spare me the lecture. I get it. Groovy. Some people, like I said, lack the strength to be empathetic, I DID. Notice, once again, past tense.
I do wish I could take back a lot of things I said and did. When you caught up with a certain crowd, you do tease people (in our case) because it was funny. And that was THE reason. Been there, done that, it's over. That side of my life (kinda gives me the chills), is done with. Now I'm just worried that after college one of my bosses will be someone I used to laugh at. T_T[/i]

[[DarkWoman]]

I understand what you're saying, IceDragonx. I took the hold my head down and hope nobody recognizes me approach too. But when I was really confronted and there was no backing out, (some girl tried to fight me while another tried to hold me down) my inner bitch came out and I lashed back out. It's pretty scary when the quiet person gets a voice, but I hate being humiliated. Since I am so nice, even to this day people think they can shout me down or disrespect me, untill I get just as loud and catty with them.

This sounds like it is really stupid (it is...nobody should have to be a bitch to gain equal respect) but I won't just turn the other cheeck and play that role. I don't think anyone else should too. After instances like that where people see the dark side of me, they don't treat me that way again. Very wise of them.
DarkWoman

P.S. Wolf, I know you said that you don't want to go to administators or whatever, but should you really have to endure physical harm @ a school which is supposed to offer protection and a safe environment to all students? I would've threatned the schools reputation if nothing was done about that and gotten the police involved. Its your body and your life. I'm very sorry that happened to you.

[corrupted_beauty]

Don't let them get to you so much! They're really not worth it. When someone says something, blow them off. That will get to them worse than if you were to reply. They are just trying to get to you, and if you don't let them sucede in doing so it will drive them crazy! Everyone warned me about the bullshit of highschool, but when I got there, I didn't find it to be bad at all! In fact, I like highschool. There is some pointless drama, but it isn't too hard to just forget about it. You might think highschool sucks, but enjoy it while you can!