Silence.....

[aramae]

Silence……

It swallows the house till it feels like a tomb
No vibration
No consolation
Just an empty room

A once loved guitar now sits on its own
Never to be played
Or Enjoyed just displayed
As a reminder of a life once well known

I take a seat in the room where he played
I just stare
There’s no one there
I still feel stupid even now that I prayed

Everyone is sleeping soundly in bed
What shall we say
When they wake
And we have to tell them their brother is dead

[Sobek]

i really like that 7/10.

it started out really really strong in the beginning, but it got weaker towards the end.

[aramae]

Thank you for the comments, It's nice to have someone who will be honest, I don't get that a great deal!
I agree I am really pleased with the start but struggled as I got further on, I might try redrafting and see if I can improve it a bit.

[Sobek]

yeah, i value honesty pretty highly, especially when it comes to oppinions.

[Sercee]

Well it is hard to improve and be successful if everyone is a 'yes' man.

I like silence the best of them, btw.

[Storm]

Very poignant. I liked it.