Path of Blades

Post your poems here. If you post a poem by another author, which is fine, please give the author's name if you know it.
Daughter of Dreams

Path of Blades

Postby Daughter of Dreams » Tue Jan 09, 2007 5:09 am

Okay, this is a poem of mine I submitted to poetry.com and has been accepted and is going to be featured in the book "Immortal Verse" ^_^
So read and enjoy....feedback is always good...just to know what people think...Thanks ^_^


Path of Blades

Walk two moons while on
A path of razor blades
So easy to slip either way.

And while your dancing
On these heights
Dont make a deal with the devil

If you play with fire
You'll get burned eventually.
But if you dont play
You'll never feel its warmth.

Normal humans live
Half-empty lives

But poets live on words
Musicians on their music
Artists with their art

We all need to fill the void within

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sobek
Banned Member
Posts: 2112
Joined: Fri Sep 08, 2006 3:36 am

Postby Sobek » Tue Jan 09, 2007 8:20 am

i found it to be very boring. i loved the first stanza however.

Sercee
Posts: 1481
Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 4:06 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Edmonton, AB, Canada

Postby Sercee » Tue Jan 09, 2007 10:20 am

Hmm, I think the layout is interesting. Each stanza by itself works, but as Sobek says it's sort of boring that way... but if you take the last half of a stanza and the first half of the next it flows differently.

Not bad.

Daughter of Dreams

Postby Daughter of Dreams » Tue Jan 09, 2007 3:46 pm

Hmm...first time someone's ever said it's boring.... ^_^

Cool.

I dunno why but most of my poetry flows together and rhymes without me putting too much thought into it. Its kinda like pen to paper, words on page, read them and "oh look, another poem" ^_^

Thanks for the feedback guys *Hugs* I'll post some more stuff soon.

TheFireWithin
Posts: 154
Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2006 8:07 pm
Gender: Female
Location: In my own little world

Postby TheFireWithin » Tue Jan 09, 2007 5:56 pm

I like it, but I'm an amateur poet, and so I guess thats why it sounded really great to me. But it was interesting and I can feel its truth.
Live
Love
Life
Happiness
-Mallory

Sobek
Banned Member
Posts: 2112
Joined: Fri Sep 08, 2006 3:36 am

Postby Sobek » Wed Jan 10, 2007 1:20 am

there is no such thing as an ametuer poet to me, if you have emotion you can write a poem as good as any "professional" the only difference between them and you is some sucker who knows nothing about anything sees a bunch of pretty words and buys them

"Thanks for the feedback guys *Hugs* I'll post some more stuff soon."

when a poem is posted i always give my oppinion lol. and i look forward to reading more.

Daughter of Dreams

Postby Daughter of Dreams » Wed Jan 10, 2007 5:03 am

Hehe. Thanks Sobek. ^_^

I like your name by-the-by. Everyone here has such interesting names! And alot are based on mythology or gemstones or animals...its cool ^_^

[Kate]
Posts: 129
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2006 11:42 am
Gender: Female

Postby [Kate] » Sat Jan 13, 2007 6:39 pm

^^^^ I like his real name...oh wait I dont know it

I read your other poems. This one isnt my favorite, but I like the way you write, because it is different each time. Kepp up the good work
Kate

Daughter of Dreams

Postby Daughter of Dreams » Sun Jan 14, 2007 3:07 am

Thanks sugar. Will post more soon. ^_^


Return to “Poetry”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest