I suppose...

[AzureImpaler]

my depression was a premonition of sorts.

I found out today from my girlfriend, that an old friend she used to like has been hanging out with her and her friends more often. He used to like her, and now she says she has some feelings for him, but doesn't think it would work anyway with him. She said she could try and put it out of mind for my sake.

I'm extremely confused. She's the only girl I've ever felt this strongly for. I can honestly say I truly love her, and she tells me that she honestly loves me. Since he's hanging out with her friends more, there's no real keeping him away, and she doesn't want me starting trouble with him. I just don't know what to do. I feel sick, lost, and as if I've fallen into some hole that just keeps getting deeper. I love her to death, and want what's best for her, but from what she says, what's best is me... but she also has some feelings for this guy that she doesn't even think would go anywhere.

I have no idea what to do anymore... too many thoughts. My head is wracked with more emotions than I ever thought I even had. I can't stand the thought of it... I can't stop thinking about all kinds of horrible things.

I'm sorry for posting my troubles on you guys... I'm just in a state of depression and possible loss that I've never endured before, and this board was always so kind and open, I was hoping maybe some of you might have something to say...

[willow_witch]

i know what your going through is so hard but im sure she didnt tell you this to hurt you but because she is being open with you, she's telling you that there is a guy and she has some feeling for him BUT she loves you. its natural you can be totally in love with someone but still have small feeling for someone even though nothing will ever happen with that someone else. All you can do it talk to her, and trust her.

You have to pull yourself out of the hole though, replace the depair with certainty and let the emotion out... Good luck and i hope all is well very soon.

[Moon_Stone]

Azure, I'm so sorry to hear that you're hurting this way. I do totally understand, and having been a hopeless romantic, I know exactly how this feels. The best (and worst) advice I can give you is that stupid old saying: "If you truly love something, set it free. If it returns, it was meant to be."
--I tried telling myself that many-a-time and hated every syllable, but I none the less honored it and the love of my life (or so I thought) went away for good. However...

Had he not have gone off to marry the now-lawyer girl, I would not have had the opportunity to meet, love and marry my husband. And though I felt that my relationship with Andy (the first guy) was to be my one and only, I grew to understand that it was just a stepping stone I was to walk along on my path.

With all that said, start by asking her what she wants. If she does want to stray and pursue a relationship with this new guy, my first opinion is; no matter how awful it may be; let her. If she doesn't and she decides to remain with you, she will always have that 'what could have been' mentality and may actually grow to resent you for keeping her in strapped to just one man. If the true desire to try someone else is there, it's there because there's something that person needs to explore for themselves. Only once they've had the opportunity to satisfy their personal love-wanderlust can they know certainly, where they want to be and with whom they want to share their life.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more, Azure. I know this whole thing sucks and I've been there. Nothing really makes it better besides the passage of time. We're here to offer you a compassionate shoulder on which to lean on, though. :28:

Bright, healing blessings to you.

~MoonStone