Silent Screams

[dark]

I have been with my husband since I was 17. We have two sons together and we have raised his daughter and my oldest son as our own without the other ex-partners. I was raised to caution love and to always count solely on myself. However, after my husbands accident and the death of his youngest daughter I was spiritually drawn to him. I felt like he would never hurt or betray me. We have had issues our entire marriage because of external situations. We have battled so much...but in the end we were still together. I always held the belief that one day once we worked threw our issues and financial/family was no longer a factor that we would finally be happy. For the last two years I was betrayed by a close freind having a serious affair w/my husband. She was able to provide the emotional support and spice that I was unable to provide due to my life stressors. Now she gave birth to a son because of the affair. I do not want to see the child cause it will be a constant reminder of the affair and betrayal. Now that she knows I know she was acting very sorry and tried to refresh our friendship. I was cautious but thought...keep your friends close and your enemies closer. But within days they were back to their ways. My husband shows no remorse but says he wants to be with me not her. SHE IS GOING CRAZY... and wants him but is playing the vicitim saying she loves my kids and does not want to break up our family. I want her out of the picture. I don't know EITHER of their true intentions with their relationship and the future of my marriage! Everything is so unclear. Not knowing hurts more than knowing cause I am going crazy with all the,"who, what, when, where's" I am seeking guidance on my marriage and the intentions of both the ex-friend and my husband. I am so heart broken!!!! I am uncertain of my lifes plan because I am battling so much between my family demands, school, marriage, and work. I am trying to stay on track but now I am overwhelmed and completely LOST....

Anne Marie

[lilimitzuki]

What a bad friend you have!!
Forget about the friend part she is a traitor!
You really have big problems. Try talking to your husband. I mean all the years you have been married and he does that, tells you that he loves you but he is still going out with the traitor

[[Silver Dove]]

I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. Hope things will become more clear for you soon. There will always be issues in your life so don't wait for them to be resolved for you to find happiness. Have faith in yourself and know that you are strong to get through this. Find support with family and close friends if possible. I was once in a situation where my marriage almost broke up....and in the times when I felt overwhelmed and lost...I used to listen to music that made me fell better songs like: irreplacable by Byonce, I will survive...take a bow by both Madonna and Rihhana...well I also danced around like a crazy woman, even when tears were rolling down my eyes..LOL!! Expending all that energy and listening to those songs really made me go thru all stages of grief and accept that I will survive. It was empowering for me.

Remember the chant I live by, "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger"

Hope this helps a little. BTW, don't focus on your ex- friend... She is not worth waisting your energy on, focus on yourself and your children.

I will keep u in my prayers

[[HangedMan]]

oh jeez....

honesty, my advice is, leave your husband and your friend. if your husband and friend really loved you and cared about you, they wouldn't have hurt you in this way. she's never going to let him go b/c she has a kid with him now. and no matter what she says, she's already shown you she can't be trusted, and neither can he. let them have each other and move on, and just work on yourself.

[Eos]

These pigs should be no part of your life.

Your husband shows no remorse, yet says he still wants to be with you? I hear men say that sort of thing all the time, yet they go on with the affair, stringing both women along. My personal advice would be to get this crap out of your life. Men and women like that disgust me, and you seem very stressed about it.

You have MUCH bigger things to worry about than those two pigs. Your schooling and your children, in my opinion, should be the two biggest concerns. If you feel no connection to the love child, cut ALL ties with that woman.

If you feel it's an option, I say leave that man and that woman in the dust, and work for yourself and your children. If you still feel something for your husband, by all means, give him another chance, but let NOTHING slide.

[GingerPunch]

Easy. Divorce your husband and ex-friend because now that she has a child with him nothing's going to be the same ever. And like the saying goes: "once a cheater, always a cheater."

[Deakay]

Its never easy to walk away....I met my ex-husband at 16, was married 23 years and have 2 great children. Our issues were not even close to yours, but I would still say that a marriage councelor is going to be a requirement, even if it doesn't save the marriage. Mine helped me know what was behind our issues and helped me decide if I could live with them.

Its always worth a try if you want it to be.

[Eos]

Marriage counseling sounds like a good idea, even if it does not save the marriage, it might help you sort things out.

[[SnowRaven]]

Ask your husband to go to counseling with you - if he refuses, well, you have your answer about him.

Focus on your children and evaluate whether you want them around two people with such poor self-control and honor.

The ex-friend is a non-entity -- not worth your time.

I would also meditate on what course you might pursue as you might receive guidance from your patron/ess.