Lost my ability

[Frost]

I used to do a healing ritual every night before I went to bed (I am very ill). However, this only went on for a few weeks until something inside told me that I could not do it anymore. I lost faith in myself, suddenly, and for no reason. After that happened I have not been able to do the ritual, when I do it is ineffective. I have lost my ability and although I try and although I tell myself that it will work this time, it does not work.
I have no control over this, and do not understand why it happened. I was so happy to finally deal with my disease alone, without having to turn to my soulmate for help. I feel so guilty, I need advise and some insight to why this has happened and what has went wrong because I do not understand. Ohhh it was going so well

[Granamyr]

Are you dealing with your condition only via ritual? If so, perhaps the gods or your guide(s) or your higher consciousness is/are telling you that regular medicinal help is required at this time? *two cents*

[Frost]

Well, thing is, there is no medication for my illness, as people are only recently beginning to understand it. Hypnotherapy is, an option I suppose, but it is not something I can immediatly afford and I have only started saving up... Surely my guides, higher self, would not want me suffering for months?

[Granamyr]

It depends on the deity or guide I suppose. The Catholic Church is huge on the idea of personal suffering being willed by their god. As it is, I think such a thing is terrible if not downright evil so no, I would not think they would if they are decent.

You have my sympathy, friend. I wish you peace and clarity on your way.

[Rose1976]

I am ill too, and what may work one day doesn't work the next. I am a reiki and I find that sometimes I need to remember that without my healings I could feel so much worse. I went through a moment of doubt years ago and like you thought the healings stopped working. It turns out I was actually just going through a patch of time when my illness was far worse.
Sometimes healing energy doesn't cure but it does help.

[NightRose]

Maybe this time the lesson is to learn to rely on your soulmate or those around you. I know I go through times where I think "oh, I can handle this on my own and be fine..." and it turns out those are the times I need help the most. I don't know what disease you have, and I know that relying on others is hard, but consider that maybe this is a fight the higher powers don't want you to fight alone.

Another thing is...if you're doing the ritual every night, maybe you just drained yourself. You had the feeling you couldn't do the ritual again because your magic or ability needed some time to recharge. Between your illness and trying to heal your illness, maybe you just wore yourself down. You didn't do anything wrong, and you shouldn't have to suffer.

[Frost]

I just feel so very guilty when he is healing me because I know it drains alot of his energy.
I know sometimes my illness gets worse and healing does become more ineffective... However, healing that does not come from me still works so I don't think it was the case... It sounds likely that I was drained but I am wondering if there is a ritual I can do to recharge?

[Rose1976]

Many healing styles such as Reiki teach you to use higher energy to heal with and not your energy. With Reiki it is like being a straw that the energy travels through. You shouldn't be using your energy for healing work since you will exhaust yourself and defeat the purpose of the healing.

[Frost]

It is all that I can do.
Does anyone know of a ritual that will recharge? I know time was mentioned but I do not have the time to wait for months and months if it is gonna keep happening