Hope you're doing better. I think everyone who's read your post has "been there" before (and probably didn't want to think about it again, so probably that's why no one's responded yet; that's a "memory lane" no one wants to revisit!).
Rather than request the pain, the negative energy you feel be "removed," it might be in your highest good, rather, to fully experience it, then learn from it, and hopefully let it always be your teacher in this matter. I don't know what this "another " thing your heart is telling you to do in regard to this man, who neither respects you nor his relationship with you, but I suggest you really listen to your intuition and remember your own wisdom:
as a woman we know when something is not right.
I've heard it said, "The way a thing starts, is the way it will go, and the way it will end." Ms. LeeLee, I hope you see the value in the fact that you found out this person's true colors before marrying him! I mean, could you imagine going through what you went through -again and again, for the next 40-odd years, and then bringing children into such a home, so they could perpetuate the behavior being modeled before them? You might take a look at a book, Codependent No More. Codependent people get involved with people who are no good for them, in the belief that those people will just magically change for the better, and suddenly treat them well. Never happens.
So, whomever your chosen god is, do some kind of prayer of gratitude to him or her, for this guy's true colors being revealed to you before any marriage took place. Thank your lucky stars! You know what you don't want in a marriage partner, which will bring you closer to getting what you do want, if you learn to listen to and trust your intuition. Learn the lesson this pain is trying to teach you.