It's been a slow week in the magick department. I'm still reading "A Witches' Bible: The Complete Witches' Handbook." I finally moved past the first section of the book. I also got to skip a few small segments. Those segments were materials from Gerald Gardener's Book of Shadows, and I've already read the parts of Gardener's book that are available online.
I've been preparing myself to help my boyfriend. He wants to learn psychic shielding. I know that he would rather get a root canal than to read, but I have found him a few articles with different shielding techniques. For me, it's sort of a back up in case I'm unable to verbally explain the process well. I'm also hoping that by reading, he'll see that the process isn't strictly a magical one. He's got reservations about doing spells or any sort of magick himself. He's been told that men performing magick is wrong and will lead to bad things. A myth that the High Priestess from Hell added to and exacerbated. I swear as times goes on, a bigger trip that girl becomes. Sigh.
I've done a bit of further research into astral projection. I can't astral project to save my life. If someone told me to astral project or they'll kill me, I'd just fall over dead.
I know a few people that can and I feel like telling them "I hate you. Go away." I've tried many methods, mostly the ones that are in the Wiccan books I've read. I've even tried the Silva and Monroe methods. The closest I've come is the ability to visualize myself walking through the house and reinforcing pentagram seals at the doors and windows.I did do something this week that counts as Goddess time instead of a sabbat activity. My plan for Litha was to meditate and try to figure out the symbolic meanings of a couple things. I've been drawn to some things lately that I haven't really been drawn to before. As I was looking through my big bad book of correspondences to see if there were correspondences for psychic shielding, I looked for the correspondences for the things I've been seeing. They all seem to point to one god. That was rather interesting, so I looked at the correspondences for that god. I think something might have clicked or something, because I started crying as I read the entry. I'm hoping that I'm ready to work with the Lord in a specific aspect. I plan to come before Him in ritual and ask if that is the name by which I should call Him. If it is, I'll share the name.
This week's goal is to do a ritual that honors my initiation into my former coven, and also honors the aspect of the Lady that I wanted to work with at the time of my initiation. I originally wanted to do that ritual during my Litha celebration, but I wasn't up to doing a ritual last night.
Echo's Litha
So I didn't do the ritual or the meditation, just what the heck did I do? I went outside. It might not seem like much, but when you've got bad social anxiety to the point that you're rather terrified of people, going outside alone is a big deal. I took some bread and went into the backyard. I wanted to go into the woods, but I chickened out. I got close, I poked my head in, but that was it. However, it wasn't a completely fruitless ordeal. I picked a few different plants to bring in to press and dry. I think they'll look cute in my BOS, or my adorable magick scrapbook, whatever the case may end up being.
I did try to come up with a homemade bug repellent. I'm not entirely sure if it worked or not. The mosquitoes only attacked the backs of my hands. I think it was a result of forgetting to put the repellent on them and the fact that other than my face, that was the only part of my skin that was bare. My repellant was a mixture of a few drops of peppermint oil and a scent free lotion. I smelled like a girl scout cookie.
I thought that was the end of it, but the other day Mom bought me a little pot and one of those blown glass balls that you stick in the dirt to help water your plants. I couldn't help but feel that the gesture was like handing Michael Myers a knife. 
Some little boy was carrying it down to the dumpster and Mom flagged him down and told him to take it to our house. It's only a 5-gallon, but it was free, so I'm not going to complain. I need pretty much everything for it, so I've got to wait a bit before I can get a fish. I want to get a Beta. I'm hoping that I can get the one I seen last weekend. I thought it was cute because its tail fin matched my hair. 
I've only gotten one thing written down this week. I've also got stuff that's been started, then left half finished.
It kind of ruins the point of writing notes.
Sabbat derp.
Actually, it wasn't so much the that the music was loud, but the music was crap. It's hard to find good stuff to listen to on the radio at that time of morning.
