Ok like seriously what?! is with the werewolf dreams?

[[ShadowPhoenix]]

Ok this one picks up where I'm in a building...I believe it was a house party or something. Anyway, I'm just talking when all of a sudden there is a loud noise as corner of the roof is just ripped off. Several werewolves jump in and begin killing everyone at the party, but there is the REALLY big one that ripped off the roof just staring at me (we're talking like 20-30 feet tall). It lunges it's head at me and just as I would have died everything froze. Then, everything went black...

AND we go back to the beginning of the dream as I realize what is about to happen, I try to get as many people out of there as I can, as I head downstairs, I also find a gun and a sword which I, of course, pick up. Then, AGAIN the roof is ripped off. I headed back up to save as many as possible, but a man in white robes appears on the stairs and says, "If you go back you will save many, yet you will become severly injured and will likely die...Do you wish to proceed still?"

I replied, "Yes, they are my friends." he disappeared and I went to the 2nd floor. So, I kill 2 of them go into a room break out the window to get access to the roof. I head toward the really big one because it just just picking people up and eating them like M&M's It's so busy with it's morsels that it doesn't notice me. I jump onto it's head stab it in it's neck it swats at me and I cut a few fingers off.

Another werewolf noticed me and comes after me it jumps and I stab it but it knocked me off the big one and I hit a tree where a branch pierces my back, I was still falling. I hit the ground my arm is broken and a leg is hurt badly.

The large werewolf turns and pursues I begin using the gun I picked up. I shot it in the leg and disable it. Yet, it is still crawling after me and I keep shooting it. It grabs me and I stab it in the wrist and move in to stab it's eye. That was apparantly the final blow to the big one.

I dropped to my knees as I am now being surrounded. When a naked young man (who seems familiar) walks through the ring of monsters. He comes up to me grabs me around the waist and picks me up. Then he says, "You've saved most of your friends...but who will save you? You're bleeding badly and if that doesn't kill you I'm sure one of mine will." He introduced himself...but I can't recall his name. He then says, "I can save you...if you wish. I like you and want you to be with me." I know what must be done in order to live and declined. The naked man then said, "You are powerful to be able to have killed our most powerful member, just think of how much more powerful I could make you...Join us."

And with that I accepted the offer he takes me to his chambers and the dream ends. I just thought it was an interesting weird little dream so I decided to share...I am also currently attempting to decipher it for important messages so anyone who would like to make an endeavor is welcome...

[Release.the.bats]

Maybe it has something to do with Amon[ was that the right name?], the werewolves in the dream.
Like you fighting against him internally.

[[ShadowPhoenix]]

Hmmm...I didn't consider that a possibility before. I wonder why I would be struggling against him...?

[Release.the.bats]

Did you have issues with him previously?
Like you tried to repress him or anything?
It could be the rapid shift in your feelings toward the situation.

[[ShadowPhoenix]]

...I'm unsure. I don't think so...I just donno. I've said before, I haven't been really been feeling myself and am even more forgetful lately..

[Release.the.bats]

Hmm.. did this happen after your grandma passed away?

[[ShadowPhoenix]]

I..I think so...I don't recall feeling this way before...

[Release.the.bats]

Maybe it has to do with how much energy you put into her, now that she is gone.
Maybe part of you died too?

[[ShadowPhoenix]]

I suppose that is a possibility...over the past several years, the amount of energy given not only to her, was substantial to say the least. I guess I was so selfish, wanting to keep her here, that I became blind to the consequences...When I found out about Amon, and read he protected the weak...I guess I thought I was doing the right thing.

[Release.the.bats]

Well you shouldn't be too hard on yourself about it.
You did think you were doing the right thing, so your intentions were positive.

[[ShadowPhoenix]]

Another thing, in the time that has passed...It's always a thought sometimes it's in the back of my mind, but I'm constantly aware of it...a thought of whether choices/decisions made were correct, or not. Also, I feel very little emotion for anything, and that has in continuous decline as well, and the vision in one of my eyes has become blurred...I suppose I shouldn't worry about it so much but...

[Release.the.bats]

I know it's hard but you can't let the 'what if's' kill you.
You can't change what you did and you'll never know if things would've been better if you hadn't. Because, you didn't.
This is the path you chose for yourself and you don't know whether a different path would've been "better" or "worse", so don't get caught up in the worry.
How close to her were you? Is it possible this is your unconscious way of dealing with her death, by shutting down emotionally?
As for the vision, i'd get it checked out, just so your sure it's not a physical problem. It could just be from sleep or stress, but you don't want it to progress if it IS something physical.

[[ShadowPhoenix]]

I was very close to her...when I came out, she was always there to protect me from the rest of my family, never turned her back on me once...even when my own mother did. I think that may be how I deal with these things, by shutting down...Now that I remember I did that same thing when HER mother died. Then again...I was closer to her than my mother, almost as though she were my mother.