Everything Under the Moon

I've noticed, after I come out of depression, after the thoughts of it go away, even when I'm in an amazing fulfilling relationship, and when schoolwork is caught up with, and most everything is right as it'll get for me, the thoughts and feelings are still there.

It's not so much that I can feel them still, it's that I'm aware they're there, especially when exposed to certain things. I see things, on TV and such, such as someone cutting themself on a drama show, or some kind of horror movie where the guy shoots himself to avoid something greater, and I notice, I seem to like it. I seem to like the idea of it, even though at that moment I have no will to end my life in the slightest.

And also it seems, even when nothing is wrong my depression can still kick back in. Most of the time its set off by something, slightly being ignored by someone, even unintentionally, or maybe something going wrong that day. But then, it can also be set off by nothing. I'll just be at home and notice I feel weird. Like I feel like distancing myself, but at the same time I want to be close to the ones I love.

Anyways, to the point of my rambling post, sometimes I wonder if these feelings will always be with me, if they'll never go away. And I wonder, if I even want them to. It seems, only sometimes, I like being miserable, and upset, and I like to cry. Obviously I don't understand a whole lot of this, and I'm sure to most this doesn't make sense, but those are just my thoughts. I'm just leaving this out here for open discussion, perhaps someone else who feels similar, or someone who would just like to contribute. I'm not exactly looking for advice, although I'm not forbidding it, I'm just, talking, really.

depression brings a lot of negative engeries and you are stuck. so this is what u can do it this way check spells to remove negative engeries and take pride in something u love.

cleanse my body,
cleanse my mind,
new beginngs,
will be mine.

use sage to burn repeat the spell and wave the sage smoke towards your face. I do this alot because i get depressed alot. i hope this helps u dear.

blessed be

Depression is something I have struggled with many times. I'm a very emotional person, and for me it is easy for the feelings of sadness and depression to become overwhelming.

I can tell you that it's something that doesn't go away easily or quickly. It's a long struggle. Every time you get down, you have to wrestle yourself to keep from falling back into the old trap of self-harm and self-destruction. But I can tell you that you will reach a point in your life that you'll think about it, get sad for a moment, then realize that the life you have is so much better than the life you used to have. You'll end up thinking of all the positive things and reasons why you should be happy.

And that's something I recommend for times like that. Find thoughts that make you happy and think about them. Maybe it's a significant other, a close friend, family member--someone you are close to and who cares about you--but someone is going to care if you fall down that path again. Think of all the positive things in your life. Look at the negative things and remind yourself that they are in your past, and you have infinite possibilities in your future.

Also remember, though, that it's okay to be upset. We all have days where we just lock ourselves in our room, watch sad movies, and cry and eat chocolate until we feel better. That's perfectly okay. It's natural to need time to recharge and just be sad so you don't go through life just hiding it behind a smile. Having sad days is only a serious problem when you find that you're doing that more often than having happy days. At that point, you have to force yourself to go out, or find some way to help yourself through it. Maybe there's a good friend you can call? Just say "hey, I've had a bad day, and I could use a distraction to cheer me up." Then go do something. Or stay in, tell him or her about what's bugging you today, and then watch happy movies and eat popcorn.

The one thing I've learned over the years is that you CAN control your life, even if you can't control your emotions. When you're feeling sad, it's up to you to acknowledge the sadness, recognize it, and choose to overcome it.

Hope this helped at least some.