Question about Goddess/God and Feminine/Masculine

[Xiao Rong]

One thing that I have trouble with (and why I have trouble fully identifying with Wicca) is the dichotomy between the Goddess and the God. I understand that many pagans worship the Goddess and the God as equally valuable, equally good deities. But what bothers me is assigning certain ideas or qualities as "essentially" masculine or "essentially" feminine - for example, aggression = male, passivity = female, or logic = male, emotions = female. To me, this seems like the basis for a lot of sexism and gender discrimination, both in the past and present. Even for those who say that both are equally valuable (e.g. emotions/female is just as important as logic/male; yin and yang), I still have trouble accepting the concept that the genders are separate and immutable, even if equal and necessary.

Not to mention, many women have worked all their lives to defy gender roles and fight against notions that there are essential qualities that belong to women. For example, I have had a lot of trouble within my own family that has trouble believing that, yes, women can be smart and logical and not just hysterical and overemotional. Or that women's place is within the home. Plus, I have many friends who identify as transgender or genderqueer (neither male nor female, but another sexuality that defies labels entirely), and I am uncomfortable that a Goddess/God concept would leave them out entirely.

So, I'm curious - how do other people deal with the Goddess/God duality? How do you honor the Goddess and the God without assigning essentially masculine and feminine qualities to them?

Blessed be,
Xiao Rong

[raynelae]

Hmm...I sort of know what you're saying. I try really hard to keep things balanced in my practices...but I just feel more connected to the Goddess. Things have been so out of balance in this world for so long it may take a while to acheive balance.

[Firebird]

This is an issue we talk about a lot recently, because of the LGBT community. As far as I can tell, the woman is still the life bringer, and the man is still the life giver, and we try to focus on those attributes. ( Until the woman becomes the boy lizard), we are still reproducing with male (semen) and female (eggs). We try to say away from the qualities that define one as being weak or strong, dominate or submissive, aggressive or demure.
Focus more on the fact that the God is the sacrifice, he rises up to serve the people...only to to die for the good of the people. As the grain. The Goddess is the the cosmic womb...the cauldron, nurturing life in to form. (not to say men are not nurturing) but the woman uses her blood to nourish.
FF

[raynelae]

Very well put

[Xiao Rong]

Hmm, Firebirdflys, I will have to mull that one over. It's certainly an appealing image (nurturing creation with the womb and all) but does that overvalue fertility? I can accept it as a personal metaphor (since I have a womb and all) but not necessarily applicable to everyone, because not all women have a womb, want to bear children, or are able to bear children.

[Firebird]

fertility to all things,... all endeavors of life,.... not necessarily only for creating life, but for breathing life into all we do.

[raynelae]

Fertility is also about creativity and inspiration in my opinion.

[SnowCat]

I look at the god/goddess as being a duality to achieve balance. In my household, if we were equating male with agressive and female with passive, my hubby and I would need to exchange genders.

Frosty

[SnowCat]

My two year old, almost three, granddaughter would probably sum it up like this: the god wears underwear, the goddess wears panties.

Frosty

[Vervain]

Personally, I work with both the goddess and god, but I don't see them as opposites so much as complements. I think of it this way, kind of: I am sometimes more emotional, sometimes more logical, always a little of both. My partners are sometimes more emotional, sometimes more logical, always a little of both. When one of my partners gets overly emotional, I am there to bring the logic. When I get overly emotional, my partners are there to help me make sense of things. When my partners get overly logical, I am there to help them see the beauty and feel the pain. When I am overly logical, my partners are there to help override my cynicism. It's a wheel, constantly turning to maintain the balance.

I talk to the goddess a little more than the god because I identify more with her, being a woman myself--but I don't see her as altogether different from the god characteristically. The sun and moon associations can get bothersome if you think of the moon being associated with fickleness for its constant change and with only reflecting the light of the sun, but if you simply think of the sun and moon as two complementary orbs which alternately light the sky and feed each other's beauty, that is easier to relate to.

[EbonySunset]

Completely agree with you Firebird, Snowcat, Vervain, Raynelae! That is exactly what I think, that the god and goddess work together rather than oppose each other. Balance is the word that sticks in my mind, without one the other cannot exist, there needs to be a balance of the typical masculine/feminine attributes associated with the god and goddess in order for the world to exist (the human race would be buggered if there were no men!). The god and goddess are in all of us and all around us, there's no denying that. Just think of personality traits, values, beliefs, actions, they can all be related to the god/goddess in some way. Of course, we may be drawn towards one more than the other, but it's entirely personal choice as to who and does not matter to anyone else but yourself. It's obvious why a lot of women identify with the goddess but some women may lean more towards the god. A woman who is strong willed, headstrong and does not feel the need to have children may draw upon the powers of the god because that's what feels right to her, just like a woman who wants to get ahead in a 'man's world' at work may draw upon powers of the god for strength and courage to deal with masculine energies that surround her. Likewise, a man who openly feels emotion and relies on his intuition may have a stronger connection to the goddess, it certainly does not make him any less of a man! What works for one person might not work for another, people are in charge of balancing their own personal energies, even if that means leaning towards the god or goddess slightly more. Balance does not have to be 50/50, we learn over time what works for us and develop a happy-medium, if good results are gained and life is more fulfilling then we surely can't have made a wrong choice!

[Wicce Lorrie]

I go by my intuition; what I feel is right. I go by how my God/Goddess "speaks" to me.