No dreams at all since six months
Posted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 5:10 pm
Dear forum, I hope somebody may help me understand this issue and see if there is a solution.
First, I need to say that I've always dreamt a lot and used to remember almost all of them, at least up to the last summer (I think I even had some lucid dreams, but they were so short that I really hadn't the time to do anything - usually when I was really scared, and could find a way to literally fly away from danger).
Now, about two years ago I started seeing a therapist, because I was going to graduate and it was driving me insane. I felt like everything was crumbling and falling around me, I was so scared of the future that I could not see a way to get out of it. I considered running away multiple times, committing suicide and sometimes even pretending to be crazy just to not be forced to face life after school. As it turns out, I had several issues with both my parents, my feminine side and my creativity, which could be some of the causes of this deep fear that I felt.
But after two years, I was even more depressed than before, and it felt as I was staying in a limbo and couldn't get out of it. I understood that, as long as I kept on seeing this therapist, I would have never been able to go on with my life, nor get back the joy and happiness I felt before. It came to a point when I had a breakdown in her office, and after that... I stopped dreaming. That was the last drop. I wrote her a letter, saying that I couldn't see her any longer because she was making me feel even worse, and hid the journal I used to write to keep a record of what had been said in those hours. Slowly I came back to life, and I became convinced that she had scarred me so much that somehow my subconscious decided to, sort of disappear or hid somewhere in order to not get hurt anymore.
Now, six months have passed since the last time I saw her, and I still dream very, very little - perhaps two dreams, and I cannot even remember them. I feel as if something important were missing, and that I cannot keep on healing if I don't start getting in contact with it again.
So, I wanted to ask you if you had any suggestion or spells that I could use to start dreaming again. I do most of my spells in my bedroom, so the energy there should be already okay for this kind of work.
Thank you very much,
Hazel
First, I need to say that I've always dreamt a lot and used to remember almost all of them, at least up to the last summer (I think I even had some lucid dreams, but they were so short that I really hadn't the time to do anything - usually when I was really scared, and could find a way to literally fly away from danger).
Now, about two years ago I started seeing a therapist, because I was going to graduate and it was driving me insane. I felt like everything was crumbling and falling around me, I was so scared of the future that I could not see a way to get out of it. I considered running away multiple times, committing suicide and sometimes even pretending to be crazy just to not be forced to face life after school. As it turns out, I had several issues with both my parents, my feminine side and my creativity, which could be some of the causes of this deep fear that I felt.
But after two years, I was even more depressed than before, and it felt as I was staying in a limbo and couldn't get out of it. I understood that, as long as I kept on seeing this therapist, I would have never been able to go on with my life, nor get back the joy and happiness I felt before. It came to a point when I had a breakdown in her office, and after that... I stopped dreaming. That was the last drop. I wrote her a letter, saying that I couldn't see her any longer because she was making me feel even worse, and hid the journal I used to write to keep a record of what had been said in those hours. Slowly I came back to life, and I became convinced that she had scarred me so much that somehow my subconscious decided to, sort of disappear or hid somewhere in order to not get hurt anymore.
Now, six months have passed since the last time I saw her, and I still dream very, very little - perhaps two dreams, and I cannot even remember them. I feel as if something important were missing, and that I cannot keep on healing if I don't start getting in contact with it again.
So, I wanted to ask you if you had any suggestion or spells that I could use to start dreaming again. I do most of my spells in my bedroom, so the energy there should be already okay for this kind of work.
Thank you very much,
Hazel