repeating dream

[lildeamonpixi]

I keep having the same dream but it alters
Their evacuating the planet and my brother is missing nobody notices or cares but this time insted of my uncle this time my boyfriend takes his place his face is contorted and his general nature is different normally hes warm and reserved and extremely protective but this dream was aggressive and more domineering. For once I wasn't in control of everything it was relieving not to have to think. Then right before take off I ran back to get a piece of jewelry it was a rosary my grandmother gave me for my first communion. I removed my Pagan ring and put on this Catholic symbol and began to cry for the first time in years screaming "God why did you forsake me." When I was close to the ship I noticed that my arms were bleeding Nick looked and me and just gave me a hug telling me everything would be alright I saw my father through the window of the ship he was wearing a snake around his shoulders. Nick pulled me towards the ship but I protested he left me and got on board I watched My mother sister father and boyfriend safely drift away from Earth. I was left alone amongst the rubble to bleed and die.

What does it mean am I to be Haunted by this nightmare forever?