One Walker Blog

[One Walker]

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

"These are the times that try Man's Soul..."

Good oration, no doubt, and a tried and true Attention-Getter as an opening statement for a speech, but I've often been somewhat irritated with that statement. When has there NOT been a time that tried our souls? In all our recorded history mankind has never experienced a period without strife, war, greed, avarice, despotism, etc. You would think that out of the many thousands of years being the dominant species on the planet we could find it within ourselves to experience one period, or even one DAY, without those things. Biblical teachings say we were ordained to 'Go forth and subdue the Earth'. Ladies and gentlemen, we can't even balance our checkbooks; let alone feed, clothe, and shelter our people.

We proclaim our technological advances and measure our superiority and intelligence by it. In the meantime we engage in extended debates about the cost of Health Care, Education, etc. People, why are we arguing over the cost of Health Care? Here's an example of what I'm talking about: Some 15 years ago I went in to a emergency clinic to get a checkup on some broken bones. They wanted to do a series of X-rays. Why? So they could stand there and say: "Yup. That's a broken bone alright!" Now people, the treatment for a broken bone is the same thing as for a sprain. You immobilize it. You put a splint on it and, in the case of a broken or sprained arm, you put it in a sling to take the pressure off and ease the pain. That thing they call a 'Cast' in the hospital or doctor's office is just another name for a unnecessarily fancy Splint. People, you can make a Splint at home yourself REAL easy and it's not too difficult to apply in most cases!

So they cleaned my arm with a couple of cotton swabs doused in alcohol to clean it before taking the x-ray. When I got the bill later on I had been charged $80 for one entire box of cotton swabs!

$80.00=1 box of Cotton Swabs.

Anybody see anything wrong with this picture? What? Were these cotton swabs painstakingly collected by hand from the pubic hairs of Tinkerbell? Were they drawn from the eyebrows of Isis or something? Who ever heard of paying 80 bucks for a box of cotton swabs? I could have run down to Walmart and got a box for $1.98! So here we are 15 years later fighting over the best way of charging EVERYBODY for someone's health care because the greedy scumbags in the health industry charge astronomically ridiculous prices. You say doctors should be compensated for their talents? Have they cured the Common Cold yet? Have they figured out yet what prompts the spark in the Sinoatrial Node that starts a heart beating? Have they figured out how the brain transposes our 2-dimensional visual system into the 3-dimensional phenomenon?

Gimme a break.

The average person today can't even afford the monthly premiums for 'Health Insurance' let alone the cost of health care itself. And while it may INsure your health it will not ENsure it! But why should we have to pay to be healthy anyway? Why should we have to pay for food, clothing, and shelter since these are all things necessary to our physical survival? Why should we pay for Education? Isn't Knowledge suppose to be free? Why should we have to pay someone to care for us in times of sickness or injury? The Constitution of The United States says we are guaranteed the rights of Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. The universally-accepted concept of certain Inalienable Human Rights dictates that we have the right to Life; which includes the physical essentials of Life such as food, clothing, shelter, health, and learning. BUT THESE RIGHTS ARE NO LONGER OURS because we cannot afford to pay what others demand for them.

Think about that.

Then think about this:

Many years ago when I was a teenager I once said "Good Evenings, Ladies!" and opened the front doors to the church I attended for three teenage girls whom I was very good friends with. They laughed in my face and it wasn't a pleasant sort of laugh either. They were laughing AT me, and their laughter said: "Look at the Old-Fashioned Geek! What a stupid Nerd!"

But they, by all means, went through the open doors just the same!

I was deeply hurt by their action and to their backs I said: "Who are YOU, that the price of simply caring about you should be so high?"

It was a long, long time before I opened a door for a woman again.

One Walker.

[One Walker]

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Sometimes saying 'I Love You' come real easy.
And sometimes it comes real hard.
But sometimes,
When Eyes meet,
And Hearts speak,
There's no need to say anything at all.

Not a One Walker Original to be sure! I got that in a card sent from a girlfriend many years ago and always liked it, probably because it speaks quite closely to the way I view a relationship. We talk quite a bit about them on the forums but I just realized that I've never really talked about my own.

First off I have to say that I'm not in any kind of relationship right now, nor have I been for the past 6-7 years. Heaven help the next lady I hook up with! We may kill each other our first night together! Seriously though, it hasn't been due to some vow of celibacy or anything. It's just that I'm not one to go in for one-night stands. Call me old-fashioned or whatever but I have to feel something beyond a physical attraction for a woman before I'll even consider getting intimate with her. The things I cherish most are the things that last beyond a moment or a night. I care a lot more about who a woman is inside rather than how she looks on the outside.

But have I been looking? Not really. I've been open to it these past few years but not actively looking for it. Why? A lot of it has to do with the pain of loss, the disappointments, the lies and betrayals, the headaches and aggravations that came with it. My story in that regard isn't different than most anyone else's and I've been at fault as many times as the other parties have been. I can be a hard person to live with.

For one, I won't be controlled and I won't change just because someone else wants me to. That would not only constitute giving up my free will but also essentially allow someone else to run my life. I'm not a control freak myself except when it comes to things that affect me or my life directly. Not surprisingly, this means I really detest a woman who acts in a motherly fashion towards me and that instinct seems hard to suppress for many women.

Second, I'm not a social animal in the sense that I get off on gossip or chatting about things that, to me, really don't mean or matter much; like what everybody else is saying or doing. I like conversations about deeper subject matters and this seems to put a lot of people-not just women-off. Perhaps its because it hits too close to home? I don't know. Anyway, it makes many people uncomfortable. I think a lot of it may have to do with the fact that I'm not afraid to come right out and say something that others may indeed be thinking or feeling too but aren't comfortable talking openly about.

Third, I'm comfortable being by myself. I can live with myself. This drove many women in my past absolutely batty because they didn't feel I 'Needed' them. Unfortunately they seemed to equate being 'Needed' with being depended upon as something without which Life would be an empty, meaningless void or I would be totally lost and helpless. I even had one gal ask me if I would commit suicide for her, and over her, and if I would kill someone else over her! This, to me, is insanity. There's no person on this planet worth spending one day in jail or committing suicide over just because that's what they want of me. If that's what they perceive as a 'level of commitment' then there are some very serious flaws not only in how they perceive relationships but also humanity. To my way of thinking, the Need is that of being with a person because of what they are inside and what they show of their true selves.

Fourth, my life experiences have been decidedly different from the norm of go to college; get married; have kids; buy a house, etc. I haven't done any of those things. I guess you could say I lack common ground with most people. Our life-stories are vastly different. Enough so that people find it difficult to open a dialogue with me. That's unfortunate because I'm always open to listening and asking questions if nothing else.

Have I given up on Love? No, although there have been times when I have. It may be that I'm not meant to find someone during this particular experience on the physical plane. Or perhaps the right one just hasn't come along yet. I can live with it either way. I'm a patient man.

One Walker.

[One Walker]

Friday, January 1, 2010


Where are we going?

Can we look inside ourselves and compare where we are going versus where we WANT to go? Where we REALLY want to go? How, or in what way, is the path each individual is on or exploring enabling them to go where they really want to go? So many here worship various gods or goddesses; interact with familiars, spirit guides, etc.; and employ innumerable rituals. But to what end?

Most all of us are looking for inner happiness, enlightenment, joy, love, brotherhood, and all the other things of The Light. We attempt to acquire it first within our own lives in order to obtain inner peace before offering assistance to others. This makes sense since if there is no Peace within us then of what good service may we be to others? And have you noticed that you feel the best and grow the most when you have been of genuine service to another human being? Not in the sense that it feeds your ego-although that can be a common and dangerous trap-but that you were there to be of positive, useful assistance in some way. You assist people in thousands of different ways each day, often without even knowing it, and not necessarily in any world-altering, mind-shattering way.

For instance, have you ever assisted a baby in getting a cookie? You lift the child from the kitchen floor and lean it over so it can grab one of those scrumptious sugar cookies from the glass jar on the counter-top. Or you simply hand it to them. What happens then? The child may take a small nibble of the cookie first but doesn't it look at you as well within the first few moments of obtaining its heart's desire? And in that baby's eyes you see what? Not a question: 'Is this okay?', but gratitude. Simple, All-Powerful, heart-felt gratitude in a language that needs no tongue. You and that child communicate something in that moment that is extremely powerful. You've felt it. You know what it is. And you know why it makes you feel so very good in that moment. There is whole and complete peace for both you and that child in that moment. The Universe becomes Centered if only for those few seconds. You feel The Divine and know right then and there what it is to be totally and completely At Peace. You were of some small service to that child but what was returned to you by that child for that act was a Blessing of incalculable value, wasn't it?

Well? Wasn't it?

But then the years go by and the child grows up. It learns to communicate through spoken language. Why? Because it finds that the language of the eyes (or should I say through the eyes?) and of facial expression isn't understood beyond its most rudimentary form by most adults. Or rather, it's been forgotten. So the child is then taught Manners. To say "Please" and "Thank You". This is all well and good until you realize that when the child asks permission to obtain a cookie and you say "Yes", there is no longer that light of communication and gratitude in their eyes or face, is there? In fact, the child runs off to the cookie jar without a second glance.

What changed? The child's strong connection with the spiritual realm as a newborn has been severed. It has been taught that in this physical world you need only perform the proper ritual, that of saying "Please" and "Thank You" in order to fulfill your 'obligation' in search of your hearts desire. Emotional expressions of genuine, heart-felt gratitude are not necessary or required. In fact they are almost frowned upon. 'Don't get all emotional on me!' 'Control yourself!' 'Don't take things so personal!' 'Don't cry!' 'Don't let 'em know how you feel!' 'Watch your outbursts!' 'Don't wear your heart on your sleeve so much!'

We have taught the child to turn its back on the very thing we claim to be seeking ourselves: Our connection with The Divine. We wouldn't even consider to look for it in a child, would we? After all, what does a newborn child know, right? But maybe that's the wrong question to ask. Maybe it's not what a newborn KNOWS but what it SENSES. Is there a way to test this hypothesis? Maybe try this:

You've seen a newborn express great joy about something by throwing up its arms and cooing Ahhhhh!!, right? So maybe you could try that yourself. Maybe do it with something you really like such as a certain flower or pet or friend or loved one. But naw, you would look silly, wouldn't you? Not looking silly or foolish is important and appearances are more important than your search for answers, isn't it?

Well? Isn't it?

Is it better to be conforming and screwed up, or even socially NON-conforming and screwed up, than to try and truly step out of the physical/social boxes we have built for ourselves? I would say 'No!' for no other reason than the fact that humans have been on this planet for tens of thousands of years and look at how screwed up we still are! Whatever we're doing-as a whole species at least-ISN'T WORKING!

And that, in a way, leads us right back where this started. When's the last time you stepped back and analyzed the path you are following? Are you being led down the path, and is it truly YOUR path-the path you truly want to be on-or is it THEIRS? Most importantly, Is it the right path for you? How does your experience along this path so far jive with what your Ideal is for your life and where you want to go with it?

One thing to remember: You have been given Free Will. It is not within the right of any being, human or otherwise, to tell you what you should or shouldn't do or believe unless you first ask them for help. And then, always compare what they give to you to your Ideal. If they demand something of you then you should know automatically you are not dealing with a benevolent or helpful being.

Just some thoughts on this New Year's Day. I had a powerful dream/vision last night that relates in a much larger concept to this whole subject. I don't want to make this post unbearably long however so I'll close here and put the dream up tomorrow. In the meantime, I want everyone to have the very best New Year's Day possible! Many, many Blessings to you! 2009 was a very rough year for many of us. It is now behind us. Leave it there. New Years are just like New Days. Each is a chance, not to start over again (although you can) but to Fix It. To do better. To look, perhaps not farther but deeper. To open not just your eyes but your heart.

Oh yeah, and go have a cookie.

And Remember.

One Walker.

[One Walker]

February 7, 2010

Wow! It's been over a month since I posted on my blog! I can't believe how quickly time passes! Especially after you reached the point when you know you have more days behind you than you do ahead of you!

Anyway, I wanted to post something I've been working on and thinking about for awhile now. This will probably piss some people off, make others think, make still more uncomfortable, and generally turn off the majority of people simply because it's a long post!

What I want to talk about is Fear and Doubt.

Fear and Doubt.

So many people come on the forums with the express purpose of finding solutions to problems. This is not a bad thing but some of what I read makes me wonder in many cases how closely and honestly the person has studied their problems. There is a common tendency for people to view themselves as blameless:

"I didn't know..."
But they should have realized there was the potential for consequences though. ANY kind of consequences. Doesn't matter what kind.

"He's an asshole."
And yet she picked him and married him or otherwise chose to be with him, didn't she?

"I was born with..."
Some alphabet disease. And you get to hear all about the trials and tribulations the disease and its associated treatment causes.

"I hate Christians..." And yet if you stand back and look at the messages permeating the forum you'll see the exact same biases, prejudices, and radicalism you'll find on some of the Christian boards. One group is no better than the other! Christian-bashing and Wiccan-bashing. What's that all about? And what's the difference? Looks to me like people searching for a religious belief that 'fits their lifestyle' rather than searching for much in the way of universal understanding, or truth, or genuine growth.

PEOPLE: THE ONLY PLACE AND TIME YOU WILL EVER GET TO HAVE IT YOUR WAY IS AT BURGER KING! AND EVEN THEN YOU'RE STILL GOING TO HAVE TO PAY FOR IT!

For all the talk of 'empowerment' and invoking this or that god or goddess there still seems to be a pervasive 'Victim' attitude out there and I'm beginning to think a lot of people aren't really looking for help; they're looking for crutches, sympathy, attention, etc! Forget the deities for a moment, okay? Whatever happened to Grit? Whatever happened to Heart?

Okay, so you lost your job; the bank is foreclosing on your house; your car broke down; your significant other left you; your health is shit; your kids won't listen to you; and your deity won't answer you. What do you do?

I have your answer!

YOU TOUGH IT OUT.

You stop trying to blame others for your predicament and stop lamenting your woes. You stop looking for others to bail you out and you stop looking for the quick, easy fix. You stop being bitter and hateful and you stop taking it out on others. If you have to start completely over again from scratch then that's exactly what you'll have to do! It doesn't matter if you end up homeless, penniless, loveless; childless; or whatever. It doesn't matter if you have to sell every last blessed thing you own. All of those things, ALL of them, are materialistic and selfish excuses. If you find that unacceptable it's because you're materialistic. I know that's a hard thing to hear but it's the truth.

For so many people claiming to be spiritual-minded there still seems to be a lot of them that are overly attached to the Physical (Material) world in which we live. It's like they're trying to reach for the stars but their feet are stuck in the ground. Is it any wonder then that so many people are lost and confused or, at the very worst, mistaken?

So in what way are they stuck to the ground, or Physical? Well, for starters let's take physical possessions. Some people on this board will have first-hand understanding of what I'm about to say: You are in a financial difficulty which requires you to sell off everything of value you own. This quickly gets in to your most treasured personal possessions and all of a sudden you have REAL difficulty with the idea of parting with those things. THAT is Physical attachment. We can say it's because of sentimental value or has some other very personal meaning but underneath all that you'll find that materialism is the real cause and that translates to Fear and Doubt. Here's why:

If you had to sell that same item to help out or even save the life of a loved one would you have the same trouble doing it? No, you probably wouldn't think twice about it. Where then does its sentimental or personal value stand with you? And if you would have no trouble doing it for a loved one then why should you have trouble doing it for yourself? Don't you love yourself? Well, maybe you do and maybe you don't. In either case it boils down to the same root cause. You cling to physical items because they ARE material. They are something you can see, feel, touch, taste (yuck!) and smell (yuck?). It's an anchor, and without it you would feel adrift in the world; attached to nothing. You would feel Fear; as if you did not know your place in the world and you would have your Doubts as to what to do next or how to measure yourself against the world.

But what in this world is really worth being attached to except other people?

Richard Bach, in part of his book Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah tells the parable of a group of creatures living on the bottom of a river. The current, or Life, swept over them all-young and old, rich and poor, good and bad-in the same way, and each creature in its own way clung tightly to the bottom of the river because that was their way. They resisted the current because that was what they had been taught from birth.

One creature finally got tired of just endlessly clinging to the bottom like that and said "I'm going to let go! I can't see it with my eyes but I trust the current knows where it's going!" This was a gesture of Faith. Of course all the other creatures thought the one was a fool and they laughed at him. "Let go and that current will tumble you and smash you against the rocks! You'll just die that much quicker!"

The one decided to leap into the current anyway.

Of course he was tumbled by the current and smashed into the rocks.

But he didn't die, and he refused to go back to clinging to the bottom again. In time the current lifted him free of the rocks and he wasn't bruised or hurt anymore. As he traveled downstream he passed over other creatures of his kind who didn't know him and they cried: "Look! A Miracle! One like us, yet he flies! Behold, a Messiah come to save us all!" And the creature afloat in the current said: "I'm no more a Messiah than YOU are! The river delights to lift us free if only we dare let go!" But the creatures clung all the more tightly to the bottom, crying: "Savior!" until the floating one past on.

And they were left alone, making legends of a Savior.

And exactly nothing changed for them. Nothing at all.

There's a lot of enlightenment in the writings of Richard Bach and I highly recommend reading him. For those of you who don't know him, he wrote the classic Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is people need to get tough with themselves. They need to look deep to the very core of their troubles. Inevitably they will find the cause being their own Fear and/or Doubt. Fear and Doubt can't kill you, but they can keep you from truly living. Find your Faith and let go of those things which keep you clinging to the bottom. If you really believe what you claim to believe you should be able to do this. And what deity worth a smudge pot would be willing and helpful to a person who showed little or no Faith or effort to help themselves? Deities are not all-powerful you know. They can help you but they can't change you FOR you! Only YOU can change you!

So where do you look to in order to begin this process of change? You look inside yourself. Look first to yourself and not to friends, family, deities, doctors, or Oprah! Only YOU can know what the root of your troubles are so only YOU can identify them! Others can help you sort out the questions but they can't do it for you or answer them for you! There's a lot of people out there willing to help but you've got to take that first step alone.

That's all for now. But I'm definitely thinking about doing Burger King tonight!

One Walker.

[[Silver Dove]]

Hi OW!

Long time eh?...I think it's been 6 months since our last connection. How is everything going? I liked your last entry regarding materialistic things and our connection to them. I agree with you on it...plus I also think that as long as we have our family together, we can always rebuild and restart in this materialistic world. Love should be the glue that holds us together not the earthly possesions. Just my 2 cents, not sure if you agree with it.

Missed you much! Talk to you soon

Blessed Be!

Silver Dove

[One Walker]

I agree with you, Silver Dove. And hello!

[One Walker]

Rotten Apples.

Let me tell you about rotten apples:

You have an entire barrel full of good apples. One day a bad apple gets in with them. Eventually that one rotten apple will infect all the other apples and turn them rotten as well. NEVER will you see all those good apples turn that one rotten apple into a good one, will you? The only hope of saving the good apples is to either keep the rotten apples out or throw them out as soon as you discover them. Which means it's up to the storekeeper and the clerks to watch the apple barrel.

Unless, of course, the storekeeper has placed too much trust or has misplaced faith in the vigilance and judgment of the clerks.

Enough said on that subject.


Well, I was thinking about posting a copy of the Desiderata for those of you (many I suspect) who may not have heard of it but then I thought: No, do not cast pearls before swine. So I guess I'll have to come up with something else:

There's a lot of very young people who have become members here. I don't have to know their birthdays to know this; I can tell by the types of questions they ask and statements they make. Many of them are not thinking things through before they speak or ask questions. Many of them are laboring under misguided assumptions or conceptions. I wonder if anybody is doing a study to find out how many people would NOT be looking to Wicca/Paganism if it weren't for the influence of TV shows and movies? I bet there are quite a few.

But that is neither here nor there. The issue to focus on is: What are they looking for? Answers, obviously, but are they asking the right questions to begin with? All too often pre-disposed opinions and biases get in the way of that which they seek. So many aren't looking for true Spirituality, Belief, Truth, or Faith. Instead, they are looking for a belief or religious system that fits their lifestyle. Power or Empowerment. There's all too much of the "I'm-16-and-angry-at-my-parents" scene going on in the forums these days. They slam Christianity because that's what their parents believe. Or, because as an organized religion it represents Authority and, in a way, oppression-not from believing anything in particular but rather because it doesn't make allowances or is intolerant of the less-than-best things you really want to do. Like get laid, get drunk, get high, slam people you don't like or don't think as you do, use people as they or others used you, etc. Christianity cramps peoples lifestyles and Personalities.

These people don't have any more of a clue about Paganism than they do about Christianity. 'Harm None' is suppose to be the creed and yet they don't realize that thoughts are things as real as if you speak them or act on them. Because you DO speak on them, if not by word than by action. Thoughts become Ideas. Ideas become Beliefs. Beliefs become Facts. Facts are acted upon. And as sure as there are weak or misguided Christians there are just as many weak and misguided Pagans/Wiccans.

This is why you are just as responsible for everything you SEE (physically and mentally) as you are for everything you DO (Physically and mentally). That which you do or don't do comes back to you. If you see someone being persecuted or in need of assistance or oppressing others and you do nothing you are condoning that activity and it WILL come back to you! You will be persecuted. You will be in need of assistance and receive none. You will be oppressed. And you won't have a single reason to complain or feel bitter about it. You won't deserve sympathy or compassion because you gave none. You get what you give.

That's a tough thing to combat in light of the human propensity for passion. You have to learn, not Control, but Patience. Long-Suffering. Pagans and Christians alike must learn to turn the other cheek. And they must learn to Love both themselves and one another. And here's the REALLY scary part: Both these belief systems must remember that they each acknowledge the existence of a Creator and that The Creator is NOT a respecter of persons! After all, who are YOU that the price of simply caring about you should be so high? It wouldn't be much of a Creator that bowed to the egos, greed, and passions of humans now would it? Would YOU do it? No! You don't do it NOW!

So you're at the mercy of a Creator that doesn't respect you. That's a humbling thought, eh? It pretty much strips you naked. What then do you have left to cling to? Love. Mercy. Grace. These too are concepts shared by Pagan and Christian beliefs. All we need do is less 'conceptualizing' and more 'practicing'! Every time you say a prayer as a Christian or do an invocation as a Pagan these are the things you are essentially asking for. Love. Mercy. Grace. The opportunity to fix things. Make them better, not just for yourself but for others, and through others it comes to you! It has been said that you get to Heaven by leaning on the arm of someone you helped. What if we all did that? How about if we all went to Heaven arm-in-arm together? Wouldn't that be better than going it alone?

Love, people. Love. That's what it all inevitably boils down to. Learn to Love, first yourself, and then others. Practice what you preach and truly, fundamentally believe; not what you just think on the surface or by first reaction. Start by looking at what's GOOD in your world and not everything that's bad. Here's a good starting point: Think about you home; whether you're a wife, father, or child. It may not be a palace. It may not be your dream home. But it's your HOME. It's 'The Johnson's' Home. It's Where You're Proud To Be. And if it ISN'T...well, then, you know where to start when you decide to begin fixing things then, don't you?

Here's a good story a friend sent to me some years ago. You may have read it before but it's still worth another read:

I walked into the grocery store not particularly interested in buying groceries. I wasn't hungry. The pain of losing my husband of 37 years was still too raw and this grocery store held so many sweet memories. Rudy often came with me and almost every time he'd pretend to go off and look for something special. I knew what he was up to. I'd always spot him walking down the aisle with the three yellow roses in his hands.

Rudy knew I loved yellow roses. With a heart filled with grief, I only wanted to buy my few items and leave but even grocery shopping was different since Rudy had passed on. Shopping for one took time, a little more thought than it had for two. Standing by the meat, I searched for the perfect small steak and remembered how Rudy had loved his steak.

Suddenly a woman came up beside me. She was blond, slim, and lovely in a soft green pantsuit. I watched as she picked up a large pack of T-bones, dropped them in her basket, hesitated, and then put them back. She turned to go and once again reached for the pack of steaks. She saw me watching her and she smiled. "My husband loves T-bones, but honestly, at these prices, I don't know."

I swallowed the emotion down my throat and met her pale blue eyes. "My husband passed away eight days ago," I told her. Glancing at the package in her hands, I fought to control the tremble in my voice. "Buy him the steaks. And cherish every moment you have together."

She nodded her head and I saw the emotion in her eyes as she placed the package in her basket and wheeled away. I turned and pushed my cart across the length of the store to the dairy products. There I stood, trying to decide which size milk I should buy. A quart, I finally decided, and moved on to the ice cream section near the front of the store. If nothing else, I could always fix myself an ice cream cone.

I placed the ice cream in my cart and looked down the aisle toward the front. I saw first the green suit, then recognized the pretty lady coming towards me. In her arms she carried a package. On her face was the brightest smile I had ever seen. I would swear a soft halo encircled her blonde hair as she kept walking toward me, her eyes holding mine. As she came closer, I saw what she held and tears began misting in my yes.

"These are for you," she said and placed three beautiful long stemmed yellow roses in my arms. "When you go through the line, they will know these are paid for." She leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek, then smiled again.

I wanted to tell her what she'd done, what the roses meant, but still unable to speak, I simply watched as she walked away and tears clouded my vision. I looked down at the beautiful roses nestled in the green tissue wrapping and found it almost unreal. How did she know?

Suddenly the answer seemed so clear. I wasn't alone. "Oh, Rudy, you haven't forgotten me, have you?" I whispered, with tears in my eyes. He was still with me, and she was his angel.

Every day be thankful for what you have and who you are.

One Walker.

[One Walker]

Midnight Ether.

There's something I really love about a cool Spring night. It's a different kind of quiet this late at night. It's comfortable. Good for thinking, or feeling, or just remembering. There's a flow there. Gentle. Steady. Peaceful. Tomorrow I'll be back at work and in for a long, hard day but for right now; tonight; I feel like easing back and talking.

Sometimes I miss my old life. I miss the comrades I had. I miss doing a job that I truly believed in. I miss making that difference sometimes. We never really know how much of a difference we made because we can't see that alternate history to know what would have happened or how things would have otherwise turned out. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad. Maybe it would've been worse than anything we could imagine. Maybe it wouldn't have hardly made a difference at all. For myself, I think we made a difference and it was a good one.

The Vietnam War was over by the time I was old enough to be eligible for military service. I was never there. But I worked hand-in-hand with a lot of guys who had been there and over the years I got to know them and something of their story. Hearing about it surely isn't the same as being there, and I would never claim to know what it was like, but I still learned a few things. I discovered the bond of common experience with the missions we went on. It was a lifetime experience; just a different kind of war. I know that a lot of Vietnam Vets gravitated to that business because they missed that bond of common experience in extraordinary circumstances. Some missed the danger or, perhaps more accurately, the challenge of pitting themselves against great danger. Not the hokey dares like bungy jumping but the real, meet-yourself, rubber-meets-the-road kind of confrontation. Maybe it was the rush that that 'higher', more intense plane of living brought. Maybe it was because they no longer fit into the 'plastic' World they came back to. Maybe it's a little bit of all of that. I can't say definitively and they'll never tell even if they could find a way to put it into words.

Some things shouldn't be put into words. You shouldn't even try. Because you could never do justice to the experience or the feelings.

I wonder what happened to all those men we ran out on and left behind there? I know this country inherited a horrific national karma because of that. It was dishonorable and shameful the way we left them and then forgot about them. I don't believe we should have paid the reparations demanded. I feel we should have gone back over there, taken them back, and brought them home. But hell, we didn't even want to see or have anything to do with the servicemen who DID come back.

Maybe that was when America finally, truly disappeared. One of the worst things to come out of the turmoil of the 1960's and 70's was that America became a nation of 'Me's" instead of 'We's'. Everybody talked about Individuality but it wasn't Individuality; it was Personality. Everybody claimed they had a right to do or not do whatever they wanted to. Enjoy all of the benefits of American society without shouldering any of the responsibilities. One big party. One big money-grubbing machine. The Big Me.

Well, the bill may be coming due for us very soon now judging by the way things are going. Personally, I welcome it. We started out with basically the right idea a couple of hundred years ago and if getting back to that means erasing the whole mess and starting over again virtually from scratch then so be it. I can live with that because then I can LIVE.

I guess we'll see.

On to another subject.

Lots of people changing their residence these days; some out of necessity; some out of job-seeking; some for other reasons. It got me to wondering what people see as 'Home' anymore. It use to be that you'd move just a few times, if at all, over the course of a lifetime. Now it seems people find a reason to move every 3-5 years. Why? What are they running from? Or to? It use to be you'd grow roots to a place. Maybe it wasn't the fanciest place and maybe it wasn't any place worth bragging about in comparison to the Jones's but it was Home. It was where you were proud to be. You put your blood and your sweat and your tears into it. You saw it grow along with your family. You knew every inch and idiosyncrasy of it. When you put that kind of effort into a home you grow roots in it. Deep roots. You literally put something of yourself into it. It becomes a part of you and you of it. But you don't see much of that anymore these days. I wonder if that's part of the reason why people drift so much, or feel adrift, in this day and age. No attachments. No commitments? Or maybe even no time?

Well, it's 'time' I went to bed. Peace, people. Let the world turn without you tonight.

One Walker.

[[Silver Dove]]

Hi OW,

The last 2 posts are very deep and they hit a cord in you. You have touched on some very serious issues in these 2 posts and whoever reads them will be pondering them long after they are done reading. we ( my family and I) are so ready to put deep roots in our new home that we named it " Our Villa" (I have a big plaque in front of my house). I hope that our home will be blessed by Divine even long after I am gone and I hope my children and generations after will see it as their home forever too.

I will ponder on your words as they did truly touched me.

Blessings to you my friend.

SD

[One Walker]

Thanks, SD! And glad to hear from you again! I think my blog is my favorite place to post here now because it isn't person or thread-specific. I can say things here in a way that might not be possible or practical in a thread or PM. And besides, I'm such a long-winded writer that this way it doesn't get in the way of the flow of thoughts from others on a thread. They can read the blog, or not, and comment, or not, without the interference or or annoyance they might otherwise feel on a specific thread.

Anyway, thanks again SD!

One Walker.

[One Walker]

July 7, 2010


What Am I For?

These days it seems everybody is mad about something. That's not necessarily a bad thing as long as that energy is directed toward trying to change things for the better. But that doesn't seem to be happening so much. Everyone is going off on somebody else. Pointing a finger. Name-calling. Belittling. Putting things down. They're real good at vocalizing what they're Against. It seems to be working real well too as I see there are an unprecedented number of people being abused and trampled on these days by just about everyone from the federal government to big business to total strangers to friends and loved ones.

What then is everybody For? Does anybody know? I'm sure some do. But do most people give it any real thought? Maybe I can start a trend by stating what I'm For:


I'm for stamping out big government. I can make my own decisions, thank you very much, and don't need some bureaucrats telling me what's best for me or "in my best interest". I'LL decide what's in my best interest. I'm perfectly capable and willing to make those decisions. If it's an issue that needs a decision among the general populace then fine, let's get the community together; discuss it; arrive at a consensus, and be done with it.

I'm for doing away with the monetary system. Money, in one form or another, has us all trapped. Let's say you have one person who is a fine artist and another person who is an excellent carpenter. The Painter needs new cabinets and the Carpenter would really like one of the Painters paintings. If they trade even-up are not both equally satisfied? Is not the maximum value-which is personal value-obtained by both? And would not the quality and overall craftsmanship of both products be greatly increased because each builder would take extra special care in producing something they personally love so much? These days you get a standard 1-year warranty on most anything you buy. If you're lucky you have the opportunity to BUY another 1-3 year extended warranty. If you're extremely fortunate your product might last 5 years before breaking down. There was a time when lifetime warranties were offered on many things and even so many items lasted dozens of years regardless. There was true style and craftsmanship in products. They were unique and of a high quality, NOT complexity or technology, because something personal went in to them. But then money gets introduced and suddenly that painting and those cabinets are set an arbitrary value; hence both items are devalued. Then it's not about craftsmanship or love but about money. All because some third party wanted to gain power through the leverage of money. They want to get something out of a deal they originally had nothing to do with. Do away with money and a lot of the motive for greed goes with it.

I'm for Neighbors. Did you know that during hurricane Katrina there were more people aided, and faster, by their fellow citizens than the federal or local government? It's long been known to me that the people best in a position to help you out are those who are right in there slugging it out with you. Neighbors share both the best and worst times in your life and yet how many of us know the names of every neighbor on our block or in our building? How is it that you can feel so alone and lonely with a host of people all around you? How is it you don't know who to turn to? Perhaps because you don't know anybody around you to begin with? Yes, you may decide; after getting to know them; that you would rather not associate with them. That's your choice and that's fine. But in the meantime you've learned something you didn't know before because you received yet another different perspective on things-what someone else's worldview is.

I'm for super-simplifying Life. I don't need cable TV, an IPod, a cell phone, fancy car (a simple, comfortable, and reliable one would suit me just fine thank you very much), a Playstation, etc. Between friends, family, books, studying, exploring spirituality, hobbies, traveling, and social events my life would be booked solid for all eternity. How about you? Oh, and this would include a job. I don't need that either because I'm no longer trapped by money, remember? I'll pursue a hobby and/or craft which, by trading even-up, will get me whatever I Need or desire. Plus, I'll get real, true enjoyment out of everything I do every single minute of every single day.

I'm for Romance. One of the reasons I love going to the state fair each year is because only there do you see so many couples actually holding hands. I love that. It's simple. It's 'core'. And it has absolutely nothing to do with sex or the predominant obsession so many people have with it these days. It's THE most direct expression of two people who want to be together. You get to see more whole, complete families there too. Mom + Dad + Kids. Nice to know there's still some around. And it's nice to see young and teenage couples walking around holding hands too. Anyway, I'm for the simpler aspects of romance. I'd like to take a girl out for an ice cream Friday evening. Walk or drive down to the local DQ for a cone or sundae and just chat pleasantly and enjoy the ice cream. No big money. No frills. Just a very quiet, pleasant time alone. Being together, to me, doesn't mean you always have to be 'doing something' together. Try just 'being' together!

So that's a few of the things I'm For. Sound like I want to go back to Horse-And-Buggy days? In some ways yes and some ways no. The bottom line is, what was so wrong with those days, hmm? Feel free to leave your own thoughts and comments.

One Walker.

[One Walker]

July 15, 2010

4 AM. Time to write.

I was having a good sleep tonight. My dreams were coherent and pleasant in the sense that I had opened myself up to The Creative Forces yesterday in a way I had been preventing myself from doing for a while. Lately my rest has been uneasy and my dreams a jumble because recently things have been less than pleasant in my life. Mostly this is because I was allowing myself to get caught up and brought down by the daily drudges we all face in our everyday lives and in dealing with the people in that life.

4 AM. I came full awake from dreaming of true memories and past conversations of this life. I remembered all my dreams and immediately saw the relevancy and inter-relatedness of each of them. It was a smooth transition from the dream to the waking state but there was one residual message that was given to me once I was awake. It said: "Get this message out there." So here it is:

Earlier this summer I was engaged in a weekly conversation with my elderly mother in which we were talking about how humans treat each other and the resulting state of affairs we now find ourselves in because of that. She made the comment that her church allows homeless people living out of their cars to park overnight in the church parking lot. The homeless do this because there is nowhere else they can go at night where the police would not roust them out or other people would try to mug them. My mother seemed rather happy or proud that the church was doing this but it bothered me because I instantly thought of that old passage from the Bible: "What you do to the least of my people you do to me."

I guess what she said bothered me because I felt more should have been done for these destitute people than just giving them a place to park their cars overnight. Nobody offered to take them in. Nobody offered them food; or drink; or clean clothes; or a place to wash their clothes; or any other kind of assistance. I asked my mother why this was not done and she said: "Well, you know, you can never tell about what kind of people they are." I found this statement rather astonishing and yet could see where she was coming from. Our society has changed indeed! Separation of Church and State. God is Good but Business is Business. Faith belongs in Church. Romance belongs in the backseat of a convertible. What you do is your own business. Money = Happiness.

I wonder if things would change if somebody hung a sign in that church parking lot saying; "Jesus Slept Here." Because that's what it really boils down to. Yes, it was nice that the church let God's children sleep in their cars in the parking lot but was that everything that could have been done? Are we to assume then that it is correct in saying: "You should be grateful for what little you get!" Are we to ignore that other Bible adage that says: "If a man, after traveling many miles, asks for drink, also offer him food; for what person, after traveling so far, can have thirst but no hunger?" Just how much should we care? How far should we get involved? Jesus was asked that question once. His response was to stretch his arms straight out from his sides as far as they could go. And then he died.

Back in the early 1980's I was working at a trucking outfit down in the warehouse district of Minneapolis. The main railroad line between Minneapolis and Seattle ran past the place. A host of homeless people lived in the bushes around this area in the summer months. Each evening a Salvation Army soup bus would park at the end of the dead-end street we were on and serve soup and bologna sandwiches to the homeless. There was one homeless man who's nickname was 'One-Eye'. He was a smaller man and a Vietnam Vet who had lost his right eye and was injured on his right side and leg, probably from shrapnel. For some reason the rest of the homeless people took to harassing One-Eye, perhaps because he always kept to himself and didn't socialize. He never bothered anybody either.

One day One-Eye went and got his soup and sandwich as usual; suffered some jostling and harassment from the other homeless as always; then went and sat down on the railroad tracks to eat. Perhaps he felt somewhat safer there than going back in the bushes where he could be robbed of his food by the others in private? Anyway, along comes the east-bound freight train from the Dakota plains at about 30 mph. Workers in the trucking company's yard area and the other homeless people in the vicinity started hollering at One-Eye to get off the tracks. He just looked up at the train and kept eating his food. He just sat there eating his last supper of a bowl of soup and a cheese or bologna sandwich right up until the train ran him over. I guess he had had enough and decided to 'catch a train'; a euphemism in use by certain homeless veterans of that time; to take him away from all that.

Nobody's asking you to die. Nobody's asking you to even get involved. But maybe the next time you find yourself thinking less of a person because of their weight, color, religious beliefs, age, gender, looks, jewelry, tattoos, social status, etc., maybe you should put yourself in their shoes for just a minute and imagine how it would feel if you were on the receiving end of those thoughts. That's Jesus you're talking to or thinking those thoughts about.

5:35 AM. Have a nice day!

One Walker.

[One Walker]

Back In The Saddle.

It's been a long time since I posted anything in my blog. Heck, I haven't posted much of anything here on the forums until recently. I feel the need to get back in here though. So what's been happening in my Life? Well, most recently I got laid off from my job yesterday. It was suppose to be a Temp-To-Hire position but somebody lied. It was only seasonal. I've been zipping around on a forklift servicing a production line making portable fish houses since August. Once the run was done for this year I got the axe.

When are people going to learn not to lie? Willie Nelson (the Actor/Country music star) had a great line in a movie from 1981:

Lie to no one. If it's someone you care about you're going to ruin it with a Lie, and if it's someone you don't know then who are they that you have to Lie to them?

The movie is Thief starring James Cann, Tuesday Weld, James Belushi, and Willie Nelson. It's a good and interesting movie and features an excellent soundtrack by Tangerine Dream. Anyway, I don't know if it was the company I was contracted to or the Temp Agency that sent me to that job that did the lying but somebody did. And to tell the truth I kind of saw it coming. I wasn't as disappointed in losing the job as I was at the fact someone lied and that sooner or later it will come back at them Karma-wise in a most brutal fashion.

Of an even more recent nature: I just got back from The Other Side. Or at least from the beginnings of a trip there. I posted about the experience in the Afterlife section but what I didn't go into there was the relationship with my mother and the nature of my promise. I know she didn't even realized what she was asking, and I'm content with that. Normally
you would think it tough to actually ask someone to volunteer to be the one to stay behind when all others go. I'm very glad she didn't see that and the thought never occurred to her. I don't hold it against her at all. I know her and I know there isn't a consciously selfish bone in her body.

In truth, being the one left behind doesn't bother me. (Again, One Walker in so many different ways!) I've been 'left behind' in many different ways over this lifetime and have made my peace with that circumstance. When my father passed my mother and I were of such different viewpoints about the event that we actually ended up laughing at the funeral! When the minister asked if we wanted an open casket for the service my mother said no and I said yes at the same time. Then the minister asked if we wanted to view the body privately after the service and my mother said no while I said yes at the same time again! LOL. Then my mother rolled her eyes in her 'kidding' way and laughed, smiled, and said "You can if you want to. You've always been the strong one."

Well, yes, perhaps in many ways I am but not nearly so much as she seems to think. Perhaps too it simply means that she and I both like to emphasis people's good points and those things which are of benefit in the individual and not tarry over or emphasize weaknesses. Have there been times in the years since then that I've regretted making that promise? Yes. Absolutely. There have been times when I've felt tired or frustrated or have given up on people to the point where I just wanted to go. I think we all have times like that. But now, today, I'm glad I stayed.

Okay. Time to peruse the forums and see if there is some way I can be of service to someone. More later!

One Walker.

[One Walker]

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Well, again with the lies. I put in an application with a Temp agency and got a call back from the representative yesterday. He said that the company I was applying to was a bit unnerved because I put down "unfair labor practices" as a reason I left a previous job. He said he appreciated my desire to be honest and truthful 'but that's just the sort of thing that sends up red flags with companies'.

sigh.

So I updated my resume and sent it to him. I didn't lie though. instead of "unfair labor practices" I put "offered more opportunities by other company". (Like an opportunity to get away from the company I was with! ) You would think companies that are dedicated to fair and equitable treatment wouldn't be bothered by statements like that because they know they do not engage in those practices. Ah well.

It's a sunny 7 degrees on this Minnesota Morning! After being holed up from the snowstorm over the weekend I think I'll try to get out for a walk in The Wild today. What with everything that's been going on I could definitely use it. I made it down to the Mississippi River a couple of weeks ago and saw an odd sight. The river was full of ice floes but they were ALL circles! I've seen many ice-outs in the Spring on the river but never circular floes like that! It was pretty cool but I can't help wondering what caused it? If anybody knows I'd appreciate a response!

One Walker.

[One Walker]

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Good grief it's already been 2 months since I last posted in my blog! Where does the time go? Lots has been happening and not all of it good. Still haven't found permanent employment and the prospects right now are not good. Had to move to a cheaper place to live last month. I almost ended up in California as a live-in aide for my mother but after a few heated conversations we decided it wouldn't be a good idea. We'd end up hating each other. Both of us have lived too long on our own and are too much our own people to be able to live under the same roof, even though we Love each other (I know that sounds pretty weird. Deal with it.). Thank The Maker we found that out before I got stuck out there! LOL. All in all it has not been a fun time.

Do I get angry when things go badly? You bet. Just like everyone else. I find myself asking why this happens, just like everyone else does. And have I found any answers? Nope. Probably because I'm stuck looking at the situation from inside instead of from an outside point-of-view. In a way I've found some small measure of relief because I've stopped fighting it. I'm pissed at The Maker and I let it know that too. I'm not looking to place blame for the situation, I'm asking for help and guidance in getting out of it and so far there hasn't been anything. I ask what I'm 'doing wrong' and I'm not getting any answers. So I'll let go and just go with the flow even if it means I go down the proverbial tubes.

Anyway, it was good to get back on the forums here. It'll take awhile to get use to the new changes though. Seems like this place has had its share of those in the past year too. Some good, some bad. It'd be interesting to see StarWitch write down at the beginning of the year how she envisions the forum to be at the end of the year, then seal it in an envelope and open it at the end of the year. How close would what was envisioned be to what actually happened? Not very close I'll bet. That would be a good example of how the Will of others affects our lives, and how we address it.

One Walker.