I know it helped me a ton and hope it helps you too.
Here are a couple really great exercises for determining which emotions are yours and which are someone elses...
From "Empowered by Empathy" by rose rosetree
Become aware of your own consciousness:
1. sit direct attention with in.
2. Take vibe raising breaths (deep in and out till relaxed)
3. ask "what do I notice?"
4. stay w/experience
5. find words to put with experience
6. ask "how is my inside self?"
7. close with few vibe raising breaths.
Turning empathy off exercise:
1. Be alone in thought or reality
2. Look at surroundings to find a color i like
3. say why I like the color
3. Listen "what sound do i like?" and why
4. Find a texture i like to feel, why?
It might seem a little "kiddish" but its a great techniques to get back to you. and to your reality instead of someone elses.
"coming home":
1 . sit alone for 15 mins
2. close eyes, take 7 vibe raising breaths (or till you are relaxed)
3. ask "breath what do you have to tell me now?"
4. ask "body what do you have to tell me now?"
5. ask "mind what do you have to tell me now?"
6. ask "intellect what is happening with you?"
7. be aware of level of emotions
8. be aware of level of soul, of spirit, of aura.
9. ground energy cord (picture cord of fav color running down spine to core of earth.
10. shift attention to body and surroundings
11. open eyes
Breaking the amusement park of emotions
Three times a day (or more if needed)
1. cut connection by saying "all that does not belong to me, leave me now."
2. do the above exercise "coming home"
3. learn warning signals that you are picking up others emotions.
Holding a space for another (join empathically) :
1. do technique for coming home for comparison
2. sit/stand near person
3. ask inside to connect w/client to be of service
4. be there
5. conversation optional
6. conclude session and decide "its over" cut cord with that person.
7. go out of earshot of people
8. take notes in a journal
you can do this for general purposes or you can set clear intentions of service to this person which the author says will triple effectiveness
Here how to set intentions for holding a space:
1.discern what you tuly desire to happen as a result of using your empathy.
2. take vibe raising breaths
3. listen inside
4. speak intention mentally
Intentions that help
1. set to help person heal
2. learn from a person
3. explor possibilities
4. to forgive the person
5. spiritual service
6. strengthen as an empath
7. Grow to help ones self.
(note: be careful not to join with someone who is evil or depressed, ect unless you are experienced in cutting the cord and are sure there will be no residual negative effect.)
Affirmations from the book that I liked:
1. I am in control of my empathy. I choose to switch it on and off.
2. When I hear my inner truth I honor the god in me and follow through.
3. My heart is MY sanctuary.
4. I know my mind. I stop neglecting truth to please other people, I cast off flase versions of myself from the past and wake up to who I am now.
5. choose to know the truth live the truth and nver again will I lie o please others. I claim my spritual courage.
6. I release the belief I am too sensitive, I balance my sensitivity with strength.
Hope this helps.
Reading the book will give you much more insight and help.
