Bewildered Over Gods & Goddesses

[SirisDerp]

After joining this forum, it never occurred to me to have a patron Goddess and/or God. I've always floated along and did my own thing. I have to admit, I'm solitary and prefer to research to answer my questions.

This time, I'm unsure. I understand it's not a needed part to continue walking my path yet it would be nice. I've been reading about people taking about their Gods or Goddesses.

From what I can understand, it's more of them choosing you and always having been a part of your life, you just need to recognise it. I don't believe I've had that? At least, I feel I'm just floundering.

There's a pull to certain Gods and Goddesses: Loki, Bast, Hades, Osiris, Nyx, Thoth, Sekhmet, Mafdet, Anubis, Seiryu, Amaterasu, Itzpapalotl. I suspect it has more to do with my personal interests than anything, if that makes sense. I feel no connection, is what I'm getting at. Not the kind I see people talk about. It's that disconnect that worries me.

I feel like I should take a more active role in identifying my patron God and/or Goddess. I have no idea where to start. Yes, I do meditate and yes, I actively read into mythology across all cultures. A LOT. I just don't want to force a relationship while at the same time I don't want to dedicate myself to someone due to wishful thinking.

Any advice?

[Xiao Rong]

Hi Sirius. I don't think you're alone in that experience of not having been chosen by a patron/matron deity. I haven't experienced that either (with the exception of an entity I believe to be my personal guardian), which frankly can make me feel a little left out sometimes! Then again, devotional polytheism isn't really my calling (although I'm sure I would feel otherwise if I DID have that experience). I've done multiple Tarot readings for myself and while it seems like some deities are happy to help me, all in all, this phase of my life I am meant to go through without any major guidance to develop my own personal power.

However, this isn't to say that I haven't learned a whole lot from the goddesses that I "work" with, even though I haven't been chosen by them or dedicated myself to any one of them. I believe that each deity is the keeper of certain mysteries that are accessible to all who do any sort of work with them. In contemplating the myth of Persephone I have learned a great deal about the value of dark times and journeys to the underworld. From Guanyin, I study compassion. From Athena, I have learned about my own personal power and I call upon her for my intellectual endeavors and for wisdom. I don't believe you NEED to dedicate yourself to a deity in order to explore their mysteries and learn from them.

From what I understand, it was quite rare historically to devote yourself to a single one; that was generally left to a professional priesthood. The lay worshipper might freely interact with many deities, even in a single day -- say a prayer to Aphrodite, beg assistance from Hermes, leave an offering to Hestia, etc., all in the course of everyday life. I am interested in becoming a priesthood, but I am finding my own orientation is less about devoting myself to the service of a single deity, and more about serving a group or congregation.

So I would say that if you haven't felt a calling, don't worry about it. It may not be your path (at this moment). Having personal interests in some deities is a perfectly fine thing without the pressure or need to dedicate to only one, and there is still much to be gained in even a casual relationship with the gods.

[SirisDerp]

Hi Sirius. I don't think you're alone in that experience of not having been chosen by a patron/matron deity. I haven't experienced that either (with the exception of an entity I believe to be my personal guardian), which frankly can make me feel a little left out sometimes! Then again, devotional polytheism isn't really my calling (although I'm sure I would feel otherwise if I DID have that experience). I've done multiple Tarot readings for myself and while it seems like some deities are happy to help me, all in all, this phase of my life I am meant to go through without any major guidance to develop my own personal power....

....So I would say that if you haven't felt a calling, don't worry about it. It may not be your path (at this moment). Having personal interests in some deities is a perfectly fine thing without the pressure or need to dedicate to only one, and there is still much to be gained in even a casual relationship with the gods.

Hello, Xiao! Thank you for the reply. *^_^* It's Siris, not Sirius. I understand the confusion, though. I just knocked off the 'O' from Osiris. lol

You really hit the nail on the head about it making me feel left out. I know it's not a requirement. I didn't know that it's rare. It just seemed so common with every pagan I've spoken to that I assumed it was the norm.

At first, I thought there must be something wrong with me until I just shrugged. It was then I figured out Wicca wasn't for me despite using it more of a guideline for my beliefs.

I'll try not to fuss too much over it. I get the feeling this "calling" is one of those moments you know when it happens?

I try not to work with deities despite my interest in them. Mostly because I feel like I don't need their help. Ah, I'm really bad about asking for help and receiving it when needed. It's where my independence become my flaw and my strong point.

I've been reading so much on them as of late to change that. Also to not disrespect them when I do try to work with them. Knowledge is power and there's no such thing as knowing too much.

[Xiao Rong]

Sorry about that. My tablet autocorrected from Siris to Sirius.

For what it's worth, I find that most Pagans whom I have met in real life do not put such a strong emphasis on deity worship. My circle is comprised primarily of older Pagans (40s and 50s) and when I asked them a long time ago if they worshipped deities, they were like, "Huh?" I think the resurgence of deity worship is relatively new, and perhaps less common in IRL Pagan communities. That's been my experience, anyways.

Right, I agree. If I get a "calling" from someone, then I might feel differently. I think there are some people who are well-suited to being a priest/ess dedicated to the service of a single deity. For the rest of us, I think it's fine to develop ourselves independently mostly without their help or guidance. Quite honestly, I often feel like I'm going to do what I'm going to do. I have my own drive and goal in life, and if that work is in line with a deity's, then they can work with me.