I feel like I have to tell this to someone...

[Wanderer022]

So this is just something random I wanted to tell someone that might understand. Sorry if it's spamming or anything. It's just some thoughts. My little town is 100% Christian so I can't talk about these things to anyone else except you guys.

It seems to me as if my Goddess wants to "speak" to me through emotions rather than words. Since She's come to me, She has not spoken a single word to me, hasn't even told me Her name.

I feel like She's doing this on purpose. I've never been really in touch with my emotions, except the really strong ones like heartbreak and anger. I just don't feel the other ones. I'm mostly in a neutral state as far as emotion is concerned.

I also feel like She chose me for another specific reason, perhaps She felt I needed motherly love. My mother wasn't very loving to me. I'm adopted, so I feel like she always saw that as an excuse to emotionally abused me when it suited her.

Whenever I spend time with my Goddess, this warm, loving, protective aura just encircles me. These are emotions I'm not used to experiencing.

I feel like She wants to be a Mother to me, She wants me to be Her daughter. But in a very child like sense. Like She wants to take my hand to help me cross the street or something hehe. I feel like a little girl when I talk to Her and I love it.

The fact that She makes me go through all these feelings without ever having said a word to me is just awesome to me.

I'm sorry I don't even know what's the purpose of this thread! I just felt like I had to tell someone.

[Becks]

That's really beautiful.

[SnowCat]

Thank you for sharing that.

Snow

[blue_moon]

I guess the purpose was sharing
Thank you that you did.

[Wanderer022]

Thanks everyone, I think I finally have a reason to celebrate Mother's Day!

[Katrinkah]

Awesome! I'm glad your getting to experience such positive energy. Sounds like some healing is taking place many blessings to you.

[Nova13]

That's wonderful! Thank you for sharing!

[Fae]

That's a very beautiful beginning to the journey you're on with a new Goddess. Please update us on how things progress if you'd like to share!

[Wanderer022]

Thanks everyone, I will update.

I've done some reading, and some searching for pictures (because I want to draw the God and Goddess), and I think She might be Aphrodite. If it is Her, it's interesting that a Goddess of love and beauty would choose me also. I don't have a very good self esteem. Never had. I don't think I'm beautiful.

Ever since starting to pray to the Goddess, I've started doing things for myself I don't do nornally. Taking better care of myself, dressing up, doing my nails, and with a permanent marker, writing all the good things about me on my hands and arms. Weird I know.

But I've always believed that the deities choose us because we need something They have.

[Wanderer022]

On the same note... if it's Aphrodite - how come I'm always associating Her with the moon and nature?? Hehe. My Goddess is very confusing.

I thought it was Her because I saw an unusual picture of Her online when I was looking for references for my drawing. When you Google Aphrodite goddess, a picture of Her comes up where She stands half naked, Her long red hair flowing in the wind, by some sort of tree or in nature, with two little children with Her.

This picture is almost exactly the one I see in my minds eye when I pray to the Goddess. Except the children aren't there. And I didn't see that picture until yesterday. So I now think it might be Her, but I'm not sure if just seeing a picture is a legit claim. Haha

[Fae]

That's actually quite fascinating, she too, is my only Goddess. I've felt her presence for years, which is hard to explain, but I also associate her with things she may be less well known for, as opposed to just sexual love or desire.

In some mythology she was born from the sea, which has always been one of my strongest connections to her. Tying into astrology, my Sun sign is ruled by the moon, which also ties into the sea, for me at least. The logic may not be the most solid, but it all makes sense in my head. I feel like I was drawn to her because I needed to open myself to some of the qualities she embodies, like romantic love and desire, as well as self love. But what solidified the connection was the lesser qualities we share, like the connection to the moon and the sea I mentioned.

While I've always communicated with her, it's only recently I feel we've grown closer through offerings, meditation, and I'm creating bottle filled with things I think she'd like. It's been a profound and rewarding journey so far, and I hope you have an equally fantastic experience.

Sorry if I rambled on a bit, talking with others about my beliefs is new for me, and quite overwhelming and exciting all at once.

[Wanderer022]

Don't worry I understand. My little town is dominated by Christianity. So I practice very subtly. And I can't tell these things to anyone except you guys. So I too am really excited to tell these things to someone. I'm very new to this. I've only started researching Paganism and stuff a month and a half ago. But ever since I started I just knew I fit in here much better than with Christianity. And the transition has been super fast and super simple.

Like no struggle at all. So I took that as a sign that I belong here. That was my typical Aries nature at its best. I jump head first into things without thinking! Sometimes that's good and other times its bad. I'm sure this was first mentioned.

[Wanderer022]

Biggest sign was the fact that, to me, Christianity is a "dead religion". I never felt a connection to it or any emotion attached to it. I wasn't passionate about it.

This is the complete opposite. As you can see haha

Edited to add - although I was raised Christian, I've just realised a month ago that all my life I have actually been practicing some Pagan-related things my whole life without knowing. I also have some beliefs that fit in here, but not in Christianity. Like for instance that there's no hell and I believe in reincarnation. Those are off limits in Christianity and I knew that, but I've always believed it anyhow. Haha

[Wanderer022]

Oh yeah (sorry I'm spamming my own thread hahaha)

One other thing that everyone in my town finds really odd, is that I've always spoken to my cats like they are humans. Not to mention the fact that I once had 24 cats living with me (not in the house, but outside in an enclosed space, they come and go in nature as they please). Cats seem to follow me. A wild/street cat will always find its way to me. And I can't bear the thought of turning them away. I take them in and feed them and take care of them.

I've always spoken to animals, and my cats especially. I'm not a social person and I have no human friends, but I've always had a way with furry friends. My cats respond to me when I talk to them. Although I can't understand them, they meow at me when I speak to them. Even the scared ones (they are wild so some of them never really let me touch them, but they do come nearer to me as they realize that I'm taking care of them).

I, for some reason, get immense joy out of the fact that people are freaked out when my cats respond to me hehehe.

[SnowCat]

You might want to explore the possibility of ties to Bast, Sekhmet, and Freya since you have a cat oriented personality. The various deities don't seem to have a problem with belonging to different pantheon while working with some of the same people.

Snow