First -
My brother visited this weekend. I won't go into detail too much, but my brother basically is an atheist. He's always had a very strong personality, but recently something has changed in him and I don't know what. He's so stuck on his own opinions, he wants to control everything and he also insults people freely. I've told him about my change in religion, of course I expected he would not buy it, but every comment I made about it he just kind of brushed me off. I showed him my altar. It's like he's trying to turn me into an atheist.
Me: "They all have different meaning. They represent the elements."
Him: "Yeah, a pot some candles and salt. Oh look! There's a picture of that horned dude! I'm gonna shoot him when I go hunting" *laughs*
Me: "That's Cernunnos."
Him: "Or some guy someone made up."
It doesn't sound so bad, but it's the way he said it. He's basically making fun of me. I don't mind some random fun, but to the extent he's doing it, it became very negative to me. Talking won't help, because he doesn't listen. He hears me, but he doesn't LISTEN.
I went walking outside earlier, (he's left now), and I had trouble connecting with the God and Goddess. I couldn't feel them and I started to panic and feel as if I "lost" them. But I started feeling a slight connection later on as I continued on my route. I'm still new in this religion, my ability to connect with them isn't as strong yet, and I kind of think my brother's negativity made it weaker. I feel like I need to build it up again.
Second topic -
I've recently changed my views. I now try and view the Goddess as one Goddess with many faces and names. Same for the God. Somewhere on here I read someone saying "by any name or face the source is still the same" or something along those lines. All things in nature that feels soft and feminine to me I associate with the Goddess. And all things strong and masculine I associate with the God. I know there's no wrong way. But I've been struggling with that idea a little and I think I'm finally grasping it. I take some things from Wicca, although I'm not strictly wiccan.
Another important thing for me - I struggle immensely with body image issues. I've come to the realisation that we are souls. The "real" us cannot even be seen. Our bodies are temporary vessels. But our souls are the real us. Therefore nobody can actually accurately judge you by appearance: fat, thin, tall, short, because they can't actually SEE the real you. They can't see the thing that gives the body life, so how can they call you ugly? I'm trying to come to terms with this idea. Trying to really grasp and understand it. To look at my soul in the mirror (I see my soul in the black of my eyes) instead of my body. My body is just my home, it's not me.
I just needed to talk. Once again. Thank you for reading this far if you have. Sorry it's so long, but hey, at least I kept your eyes busy.
With people who are closed minded it's just easier to let them be, and talk about other things. I learned the hard way that it's a waste of my energy to try to explain my views to people who aren't really trying to listen. However, I know that is nice to approval from those you care about. It's just not worth feeling bad over. My opinion anyway.... I find it hard to keep my mouth shut about things I'm passionate about, so I journal. It helps me to get it out and also gives me a clear picture of whatever I'm writing about. And there is always the forum! 
