How do you open your heart for love again?

[cherri]

Hi!

I find myself having serious trouble with love nowadays... because I can't feel it.
It's after an abusive relationship, I loved him above all else but he could not care less most of the time except when it suited him and he would make me feel so special, ugh.
I did fall in love after that relationship though but only brifley and that was with my ex and I don't even know if that was only a rebound for me or if I really loved him??? Although he meant a lot to me and still do because he's a great person and I often wish I had not fallen out of love with him but feelings are like that I guess.
I have gone on dates with different guys but I always succeed to find stupid faults like he's too clingy, he's not attractive enough (which is STUPID because that's just superficial) or he's too serious and then the next guy is too goofy instead.
There is also one other guy who keeps coming back into my life and who's made it clear he really likes me and doesn't want to give up on what could be something great but everytime he talks to me I just feel angry and sick and I find myself looking down on him for being positive and for actually liking me. I'm confused. I think my heart has been closed for love and I just want to feel again but I don't know how.

[corvidus]

Find Love for yourself first! Not love of someone else..

[cherri]

Find Love for yourself first! Not love of someone else..

I'm already doing that but I need romantic love in my life at least to be able to feel it even if I'm single. It's the main thing that inspires me and my artistic talents in life and not being able to feel it makes me more depressed than I already was to begin with.

[T'a Nuk]

Romantic love finds you, always, every time without exception. There is no conscious act of opening to it, rather we often times find ourselves fighting it. When you have healed, It will be there. You can't force the sun to rise before it's time, likewise with love. It could happen tomorrow. You have some work to do before you can swim in that river again. In the meantime, the man you mentioned at the end of your post may be the friend you need to help find yourself again, it seems he carries your best interest in his heart. Broken hearts suck, but this too shall pass.

[SpiritTalker]

When you decide you want to wake from the illusion, and allow yourself to stop being afraid. You decide at a soul-level, not an emotional level.

[barker]

Work thru (fix) everything so that you are happy... U really need a good life first. THEN, embrace "quality" in full knowing that everything is fine and so. The heart opens when it sees itself. That's why i like spirituality, it is a great catalyst for this.

[planewalker]

I think Corvidus is spot on. You might also use your art to work out the negatives that are wrecking your balance. If nothing else it may expand the breadth and depth of your art.

[RyukaAscendant]

Agreed the best relationships I found have been the ones who found me as I enjoyed simply being myself. Don't focus on others find yourself and enjoy yourself and invite people to join you in you happiness that's how you find the people who are good for you.

[Tutmosis]

All great points here. I would also suggest doing heart chakra meditations(if it's in your belief system)

A broken heart feels, but your mind has blocked it to protect you from feeling that pain that I believe stems from that abusive relationship. To reconnect with your heart and emotions, you must first take some time to heal, however long you need. You'll know. Then you should try reconnecting to your heart chakra.

It will be as if a dam has burst, and you'll feel everything at once. It can be a bit much, but if you persevere you will find that your heart will get stronger. It will still hurt, but you will be able to handle it. That's the miracle of the heart..

[cherri]

All great answers here thank you.