Some Advice please....

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Adularia
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Some Advice please....

Postby Adularia » Thu May 17, 2007 3:38 am

Hi everyone, I am sorry if this turns in to me whinging at any point but I really feel like i need to talk to someone and just release some tension :( I have some deep issues which have remained unresolved and I'm not sure how to fix them, so just wondered if anyone had any advice. My dad had an affair when I was about 5, ran off with another woman...they ended up getting married and everything was happy and fine between everyone for about 10 years. Until the woman he ran off with had an affair with someone else a couple of years ago, destroying my dad, leaving me all bitter and twisted like again, making my mum upset again (who still has feelings for my dad). In addition, a few years ago a girl took my ex boyfriend of five years away from me... and now she has just started working at the place where my new boyfriend of 2 and a half years works. This has been bothering me quite a lot. I have always Always got these nasty worrying nagging thoughts in my head that bad things will happen and no matter what I do they are always there every day, like some kind of defence mechanism i suppose. I don't feel like myself, I feel like I'm stuck in some kind of 'black' is how i can best describe it. And I'm totally fed up with it. It's given me high blood pressure. Anyways sorry for the rambling on, I just needed it really :(
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Sobek
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Postby Sobek » Thu May 17, 2007 3:45 am

trust untill you have a reason not too, difficult i know, but you wouldnt be with a person you didnt trust, atleast in the beginning. not everyone is like that. and also dont make your parents problems your own.

The power of positive thinking my dear!
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Adularia
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Postby Adularia » Thu May 17, 2007 3:48 am

thanks sobek. I needed a rant :)
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Adiens
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Postby Adiens » Fri May 18, 2007 5:41 pm

I agree with Sobek. Have faith in your boyfriend unless he does something to disrupt your trust in him.

*sends some positive energy your way* ;)
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jcrowfoot
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Postby jcrowfoot » Fri May 18, 2007 8:26 pm

Trust is a difficult thing. Just remember, it takes two to cheat.

What I would do in your situation is to warn your boyfriend about her.
Then, I'd trust him until he proves he isn't trust worthy. Because life is hell with out trust.

Always remember that there are also people out there who are worth your trust.

You may wish to ask the Gods in the form of a spell or a ritual to help you with your trust issues.
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Adularia
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Postby Adularia » Tue May 22, 2007 4:46 am

Thanks everyone. does anyone have any trust spells of any kind that may help? I have been meditating every day to try and relieve stress but feel I need a little something more :)
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Adiens
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Postby Adiens » Tue May 22, 2007 1:12 pm

I have one written down somewhere...

I'll dig it up for you and post it ;)
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Adularia
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Postby Adularia » Tue May 22, 2007 2:03 pm

Thankyou :wave:
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Vicki*
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Postby Vicki* » Wed May 23, 2007 2:22 am

The 'one' who's right for you will never break your trust or hurt you... remember that. There really isnt any point worrying about what might happen in the future... your boyfriend is with you now and loves you... enjoy it! ((hugs))
[url=http://www.internationalgathering.blogspot.com]~ Sometimes I just cant shut up... ~[/url]
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Sercee
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Postby Sercee » Wed May 23, 2007 9:51 am

Umm I have to add to that, Vicki...

The 'one' who's right for you will hurt you sometimes. But they won't do it on purpose. :) Tis life. Nobody's perfect.
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Sobek
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Postby Sobek » Wed May 23, 2007 6:56 pm

the concept of "the one" interests me. i dont exactly feel it holds true, because love both grows and fades. but you might think somebody is your "one"...but you mightn't be thier "one"
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[ForestWitch]
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Postby [ForestWitch] » Wed May 23, 2007 9:41 pm

Well, my 2 cents worth (and it really isn't worth a whole lot more than that since I'm a life-long serial monogamist who's never really been looking for Mr. Right) is that there is no one person who will magically be right for you in every way and on every day of your life, and that you can count on getting hurt sometimes in every relationship, but that there's no point in ruining what's good about a relationship trying to anticipate how you're going to get hurt.

I don't know if it's realistic to trust that your significant other will never be unfaithful; I always think it's more realistic to hope that you can at least trust them to be truthful about it and to know that you can trust yourself to be able to deal with it if it happens.

I don't know why people always judge the success of a relationship by it's longevity; to me it seems that a relationship is successful if you got a lot more joy than pain out of it so I'd rather have a short, but deliriously happy relationship than one that lasts a lifetime but is riddled with anxiety.

If I were going to craft a spell in this situation, it would be one to rid myself of anxiety and to let go of the need to try to control the situation.
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Sobek
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Postby Sobek » Wed May 23, 2007 9:59 pm

i couldnt stand a relationship if it were all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. that would be ok for a bit but it would get plain boring before long.
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Adularia
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Postby Adularia » Thu May 24, 2007 9:53 am

Oh...well after reading that I'm so optimistic now after reading all this...lol! :P

I've had a few boyfriends I thought were 'the one', but i was wrong. I do know that this one is. I do believe completely in the concept and I do believe that if they love you truly then they won't ever hurt you and so I don't think it would be unrealistic to trust them to not be unfaithful.

You've given me stuff to think about, i appreciate it. And i will work on a spell for releasing the anxiety, i think that's what i need to do.

looksmiley
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