Hi everyone again. In fallow up to my other thread on this board, we are still broken up, and he is so NOT coming back if I have anything to say about it. Lately though, he has been e-mailing me often, giving me the same old line about how he is sorry he made me feel like I had to be less than I was, and how he misses me. I think too that some of what he says is designed to guilt me into telling him I will give him another chance+.
He hopes that I still love him. He hopes that I miss him. He does not know that I feel nothing for him anymore. Granted, I do miss what we used to have, before it all went bad, but I know that I will never get that back, and I am okey with that.
I am truely sorry to bother you guys with this stuff, but I hoped you could send me some energy to keep fighting him off. This is stressing me out like you would not believe. I will not ever let him back into my life. The only reason i don't block him on my e-mail is because I worry that if I do that, he will just start phoning me, and it would be a lot harder to deal with him over the phone.
I am getting ready to think about doing a spell to break ties with him as well.
Thanks for any help, and I am sorry to have to post this at all.
Now he's harrasing me... Errrrrr!
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Revolpathon
- Banned Member
- Posts: 398
- Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 11:05 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: Netherlands
i got a block caller function on my mobile
i wish you the best of luck and i'll send you some energy your way.
i hope for you that he is not getting physical otherwise this could turn out nasty, but if he does involve the authorities i know it's hard but do it.
can't you tell him off? me as a guy would accept it but i am not any ordinary guy.
do you still need to see him in daily life ie school or work or any other social activity if so, i really really feel for you.
try not to respond in the e-mail and if you have to tell him to leave you the hell alone. changing phone numbers and e-mail adress is also a good idea.
hoped to have helped a bit
and expect some energy your way
i wish you the best of luck and i'll send you some energy your way.
i hope for you that he is not getting physical otherwise this could turn out nasty, but if he does involve the authorities i know it's hard but do it.
can't you tell him off? me as a guy would accept it but i am not any ordinary guy.
do you still need to see him in daily life ie school or work or any other social activity if so, i really really feel for you.
try not to respond in the e-mail and if you have to tell him to leave you the hell alone. changing phone numbers and e-mail adress is also a good idea.
hoped to have helped a bit
and expect some energy your way
I got this from the last topic you posted - seems I was right, how so? been there, done that,myself, Blazewind.Cut him out completely -change phoneline nos. and e-mail, please reread this,sound about right???? I emboldened the pertinent points, you must cut him off completely for your own peace of mind.PLEASE.I know what can happen if you don't -please listen to me.
Well done .I 'm glad to hear you are safe. Clean him right out of your life. Change all your information that you can, phone no. etc. It's a hassle but it gives him no way back to you ,if you can. Keep friends close and alllow them to lecture you and remind you how awful he really is - I find thast helps when /if you get confused which is normal - remembering good times etc. It is hard to get over a nasty experience like this, it can cause trust issues in future relationships- so take time to be just you for a bit , another tactic the controlling type uses is to get in touch' just to talk' because you 'understand them' and they paint a picture of sympathy to try and 'guilt trip' you back, sometimes using very subtle and 'gentle' techniques - you can't allow yourself to fall for tactics like that. Stay busy, come here and vent, we are here for you. I hope he is 'cutting his losses' and dosen't try to hassle you, but you should stay wary for a time, they often come back -he has invested effort in 'training ' you, awful I know, but they often see it that way. All the best, thinking of you and wishing you good things.Geri.
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Well done .I 'm glad to hear you are safe. Clean him right out of your life. Change all your information that you can, phone no. etc. It's a hassle but it gives him no way back to you ,if you can. Keep friends close and alllow them to lecture you and remind you how awful he really is - I find thast helps when /if you get confused which is normal - remembering good times etc. It is hard to get over a nasty experience like this, it can cause trust issues in future relationships- so take time to be just you for a bit , another tactic the controlling type uses is to get in touch' just to talk' because you 'understand them' and they paint a picture of sympathy to try and 'guilt trip' you back, sometimes using very subtle and 'gentle' techniques - you can't allow yourself to fall for tactics like that. Stay busy, come here and vent, we are here for you. I hope he is 'cutting his losses' and dosen't try to hassle you, but you should stay wary for a time, they often come back -he has invested effort in 'training ' you, awful I know, but they often see it that way. All the best, thinking of you and wishing you good things.Geri.
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Blazewind
- Posts: 259
- Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2007 9:52 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: wetaskiwin Alberta, Canada
Thank you very much both of you for the replies, and the advice. You're right. I am just ignoring most of his e-mails now. the ones I do answer, I respond to for the sake of dropping hints about it being over... hints he does not seem to clue into. Today he sent two of 'em. I ignored both.
No, I don't have to see he in day to day life. He lives in a differant town, although it is still too close for comfort really. We don't work together or anything like that. I will change my e-mail and phone numbet if I have to but that is not somethig I want to do if I can help it.
No, I don't have to see he in day to day life. He lives in a differant town, although it is still too close for comfort really. We don't work together or anything like that. I will change my e-mail and phone numbet if I have to but that is not somethig I want to do if I can help it.
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Revolpathon
- Banned Member
- Posts: 398
- Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 11:05 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: Netherlands
i couldn't find your previous post (it drifted to low to catch it but now i remember)
follow up on her advice it is a hassle but it give's enormous relieve.
i really hope he doesn't come by as a "last" resort of so take your pile of "bricks"
does he still have a key to the house? if so change the locks! you odn't want an unwelcome surprise waiting for you when you get home.
sorry to be all doom scenario but i didn't see any other way to get my point across
edit: removed something since you were to fast to reply
follow up on her advice it is a hassle but it give's enormous relieve.
i really hope he doesn't come by as a "last" resort of so take your pile of "bricks"
does he still have a key to the house? if so change the locks! you odn't want an unwelcome surprise waiting for you when you get home.
sorry to be all doom scenario but i didn't see any other way to get my point across
edit: removed something since you were to fast to reply
Yep, remember we will all throw bricks for you -he's a manipulative devious swine, who scared you really badly last time[and us too!] - he's an arse not worth the time you've given him, you are precious and special and deserve far better - grrrrrr - come and vent ,weep if you feel bad -we are here and we care.Still thinking of you .Geri.
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[echolady]
- Posts: 44
- Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:40 pm
you will be in my thoughts dear, please do cut him off cold turkey, if u can't get your phone # changed right away do your email, don't get rid of the old email address just make a new one, give it to all your new friends and let him right to a mailbox you never check( just delete it as soon as possible) that way he won't start calling u.
my dear eretik is right he will use small tactics to get u to come back, things you wouldn't even exspect can and will be used against you. Mine has done it, last year when we broke up for a few weeks, i didn't even know i was hooked again until it was 2 late. They have spent their lives being con-artists of a sort, they have become good at their trade, never trust him for a minute. He will smell that part of you that misses what you used to have and will use it against you. don't give him the chance, stop reading his emails immediatly, just delete them from your box without reading, seriously, by reading them, you have let him back into your life, even if it is only a corner of your life it is enough, he will do his very best to infest the rest.
sending u some energy and hugs,
echolady
my dear eretik is right he will use small tactics to get u to come back, things you wouldn't even exspect can and will be used against you. Mine has done it, last year when we broke up for a few weeks, i didn't even know i was hooked again until it was 2 late. They have spent their lives being con-artists of a sort, they have become good at their trade, never trust him for a minute. He will smell that part of you that misses what you used to have and will use it against you. don't give him the chance, stop reading his emails immediatly, just delete them from your box without reading, seriously, by reading them, you have let him back into your life, even if it is only a corner of your life it is enough, he will do his very best to infest the rest.
sending u some energy and hugs,
echolady
Oye, Blazewind! I am at a loss here. I just walked in on the middle of all this. Eretik is right from what I gather. This sounds dangerous and if he does not harm himself (or threaten to harm himself) first, he could harm you.
Lose the e-mail, let it die.
If you can, change the phone number. You can also call the phone company and report his number as an annoyance caller, but then he may just go use another phone, possibly a pay phone.
I've been on the receiving end of head games and have seen others in that scenario. They feed off of you; they need you a lot more than you will ever need them because they lack the courage and creativity to prosper on their own, so they have to ride around on your back and the only way to get away with it, even for a short time, is to whip you into submission usually metaphorically but in extreme cases physically.
Manipulators will weep and cry like that because I think they realize their state of existence relies on their power over others but they refuse to admit to it. They are only happy if others are miserable, because to see others happily living in the presence of their miserable existence is something they find intolerable and they will only be happy when others are pulled down.
They are the weak ones, even if you cannot see it right now.
Wow. You know, ever since I started these angel meditations this past week, I sure have been telling myself a thing or two...
blue_shocked :tongue:
Lose the e-mail, let it die.
If you can, change the phone number. You can also call the phone company and report his number as an annoyance caller, but then he may just go use another phone, possibly a pay phone.
I've been on the receiving end of head games and have seen others in that scenario. They feed off of you; they need you a lot more than you will ever need them because they lack the courage and creativity to prosper on their own, so they have to ride around on your back and the only way to get away with it, even for a short time, is to whip you into submission usually metaphorically but in extreme cases physically.
Manipulators will weep and cry like that because I think they realize their state of existence relies on their power over others but they refuse to admit to it. They are only happy if others are miserable, because to see others happily living in the presence of their miserable existence is something they find intolerable and they will only be happy when others are pulled down.
They are the weak ones, even if you cannot see it right now.
Wow. You know, ever since I started these angel meditations this past week, I sure have been telling myself a thing or two...
blue_shocked :tongue:
It's like walking down an empty street, listening to your own footsteps. But all you have to do is knock on any door and say, "If you'll let me in, I'll live the way you want me to live. And I'll think the way you want me to think." And all the blinds will go up, and all the doors will open, and you'll never feel lonely. Ever again.
~Henry Drummond, "Inherit the Wind" (1960)
~Henry Drummond, "Inherit the Wind" (1960)
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