Long distance/internet relationships

[Pav]

I was just wondering what peoples thoughts were on these matters, there seems to be a lot of very different views, so i thought i'd see what people here thought:P so whats your opinion? can they work? or are they a waste of time?

[Revolpathon]

well personbally long distance love relationship over the internet without having met him/her face to face before is just pathetic inmy opninion.

long distance relationships itself i think it's difficult to maintain them especcially for long periods of time.

i think they are a waste of time.

[Pav]

Meeting someone face to face seems to be very important, though personally to me getting to know someone via internet means you meet only their personality (that is if the persons being truthful) that way how they look wont affect your judgement. After all I've always thought good looks are just a bonus

[Revolpathon]

true but a hog face is a turn off

i mean face it good looks are a bonus but someone who looks like golem,,,, don't make me think about it

[Pav]

haha that is true, though it seems in these modern days looks come first, where as I think no relationship should have beauty as its foundation

[applepolice]

Revo: I love the honesty!

Here's the thing, they can work for a while, but eventually someone's going to have to make a sacrifice. A friend of mine dated a guy online for several years and then he moved up North to live with her and things (as far as I know) are still going great.

On the other hand, I have known people who got stuck in online relationships that never went anywhere, simply out of fear of never finding a "real life" relationship, or because once they got into these online relationships, they found it hard to leave, despite the fact that circumstances wouldn't permit the relationship to carry on further than Skype chats and emails.

That's not to say you have to make a commitment up front, but be prepared for the possibility to come up. Additionally, with online relationships (as with any long-distance relationship), lack of a physical element could be a problem. Not just sex, but kissing, hugs, and contact in general. When my (soon-to-be) husband is away (he has to travel for work), it's very hard, and that's only temporary. It could be very hard to make a long-distance/internet relationship work for too long.

[[EarthWitch]]

My worry would be a trust issue. What if the person is not who they tell you they are and are a sociopath or something? I know that can happen with a face to face relationship, yet I think it is a whole lot more less likely and you would identify that sooner.

[Pav]

Trust does also seem to be a big issue, which is understandable, guess you just have to be careful who you get close to online

[Lady Garnet Eyes]

I dont trust online or long distance relationships as much because its alot easier to lie in them. They can tell you "you are my everything" and then click over to the next messanger window and say the same thing. They could also have a girl localy and you would never know due to your not around it and dont see it. You also dont know their friends and who they are actualy with. Just to many variables and lack of trust. Personaly, i could never do it.

[Wolf Heart]

I believe internet relationships are a bit, moronic. Especially if they live on the other side of the country, or world. It's pointless and only causes pain in the end. I know this because I was in a couple in my early teen years. There was one in particular, I truely loved him (as much as a young teen can) but it was painful because I knew I wouldn't be able to see him. We ended it but are still very good friends. I've never met him but he's almost like a long lost brother to me

As for things such as online dating services, my only warning is just be careful. Not only are there tons of perverts on there, (my "momma witch" actually went on a date with one, halfway to the resteraunt he told her it was okay to have sex with him for money) But you may also be sorely dissapointed. I was curious and tried the yahoo personals things. Started chatting with a guy who lived about an hour away. We shared so many interests and he was really sweet and kind.

I drove to his town to meet him. He didn't turn out to be a perv but I was so dissapointed and eventually creeped out extremely. Not only was he, quite frankly, butt-ugly (clever little him had used photo editing on his profile picture) he was also a huge nerd thought he was a barbarian and made me pay for my own meal and talked about his ex and their "crazy" sex stories. Needless to say I ended that date quickly.

Now as for long distance relationships, it depends on how far away they are. A couple of hours is sometimes really nice. My boyfriend and I broke up after living together for about a year. I just couldn't stand being around him most days. We are now dating again, but he lives an hour away. It makes it so much nicer. I find being around somebody too much causes annoyance. Now things couldn't be better for us.

Those are just my thoughts, sorry I rambled a bit.

Wolf Heart

[Mycroft]

Normally I wouldn't exactly be pro.

But I know couples who dated or even got married because they met on the Internet. And they worked out fine.

It's a random thing. You can never be sure who are you dating live. On the Internet it adds more risk but people can also be more open. Like in face to face relationships, it depends on the person with whom you're chatting.

[juliaki]

From what I've seen, 90% or more don't work.

On the other hand, my husband and I met online. Thirteen years later, we're happily married. We are the exception and not the rule, however.

[Elven555]

I'm another exception, I met my partner online.

[Gaia]

I try avoiding those because around where I live, a girl commited suicide when her online boyfriend dumped her. Police found the guy and he ended up being almost 20 years older then her. It broke my heart.
But then again, i'm only 16, I don't online date at all.

[jcrowfoot]

I really think it depends on the people. For example, a teacher of mine dated creeps in person... (married two of them) and then, met this guy on line, married him... and they are great together! Really, really great!

People can lie in person, too... and frequently do. The thing is, it's just easier to *catch* someone in a lie in person.

But I'm a cynic.