this is what i get for going to sleep early?

[emmi116]

so i decide that tonight im going to go to sleep early and for what, i have possibly the most disturbing dream yet. i dreamt that i was in my family room when my sister comes in asking me a question or telling me something whatever i forget. anyways, i then proceed to take her by the arms and shake her. like im shaking her as if im asking f she stupid or something, that kind of shaking....or when you hear of someone shaking a baby to make it stop crying. and then all of a sudden i feel her arms (above the elbow) break in half in my hands. she has no pain, no expression on her face but her arms are broken in my hands. i dont remember if i was squeezing them or not but they were broken!!! a little while ago when i woke up i went into her room to see if she was ok and to see if her arms were ok. it felt so real even though i would never purposely hurt my sister, shes my life. i dont know whats going on. lately ive been having disturbing thoughts about hurting her. our father abused me as a kid before she was born and in my dream i guess i was the abuser? idk...

[Chaos Shaman]

Did you feel like her protector when she was born? Sometimes are attempts to protect some one becomes our abuse on them.

[emmi116]

im 7 years older than her and my role in our household is kind of like her 2nd mother. i was abused by our father before she was born and when she was a baby and i made a promise to her, to God and myself to protect her from any harm either from our father or anything outside of our household.

[emmi116]

but i feel that im my dream that i was frustrated with her...?

[Chaos Shaman]

Do you protect her to the point of restricting her? Ohh and what are both of your ages?

[Chaos Shaman]

but i feel that im my dream that i was frustrated with her...?

Or do you see yourself in her and feel frustrated at yourself for what has happened to you?

*is just playing with a idea*