I don't remember dreams, ever. It hasn't really bothered me 'till I started bothering others in my sleep.
I scream, shout, cry, flex muscles. I seem to have terrible nightmares but I can't recall any of it. I never have. Not even as a child.
Maybe I'm protecting myself?
I'm highly intelligent and hypersensitive. Always have been, and never acknowledged by the people around me, or at least, no one knew how to handle me. I tend to be what others want me to be. Perfect. Only, I'm not, of course I'm not, I'm just really good at hiding my failures and downsides. Everybody loves me, but I don't love myself.
I'd really love to remember those dreams, just curiosity i guess, and maybe find a way to get rid of them, or at least get rid of the screaming, that would certainly help other to get some sleep :p
Remembering
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One Walker
- Posts: 594
- Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 4:42 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Minnesota, USA
Hi Stoneheart!
This is interesting. I'd like to comment but first I'll say that this is not an attempt to psychoanalyze you or tell you what you should do, okay? And certainly no offense is intended.
It could be that you're protecting yourself as you say but I can't help wondering if you are shielding yourself in some other fashion. You are highly intelligent and hypersensitive, yet try to be what other people want you to be. This would seem to me to be a good way to not only 'cross-circuit' yourself but everyone else around you-hence people like you but don't know how to 'handle' you. Add to this the fact that you don't love yourself and it would appear to be a formula for real distress in your life.
Some questions: Do you like to handle issues by yourself? By that I mean you don't have a tendency to ask for help from anyone? Do you feel a definite urge to 'act responsibly' or feel that to ask others for something is being a burden on them or may open you up to a debt to someone else? Just curious. You don't have to answer those questions if you'd rather not.
Sometimes highly intelligent and sensitive people; especially those with the kind of high intelligence that is worldly or spiritual rather than mostly book-learned; can actually get blocked or block themselves from the Creative Forces by the demands; whether real, imagined, or created; of the physical world. You don't have, or at least remember, your dreams; yet apparently something is going on while you sleep, judging by your reported actions during sleep. I wonder if it might not be the Creative Forces trying to get through to you but your Will is blocking it because it is dominated by your strong ties to the physical plane or your strong Ego (Your Gestalt or Earthly Orientation).
If you want to remember your dreams I believe you will end up having to make a conscious effort to lower your shields and open yourself up to the possibilities. Maybe by meditating on this issue right before going to bed or something.
Again. no offense intended. Just some thoughts.
One Walker.
This is interesting. I'd like to comment but first I'll say that this is not an attempt to psychoanalyze you or tell you what you should do, okay? And certainly no offense is intended.
It could be that you're protecting yourself as you say but I can't help wondering if you are shielding yourself in some other fashion. You are highly intelligent and hypersensitive, yet try to be what other people want you to be. This would seem to me to be a good way to not only 'cross-circuit' yourself but everyone else around you-hence people like you but don't know how to 'handle' you. Add to this the fact that you don't love yourself and it would appear to be a formula for real distress in your life.
Some questions: Do you like to handle issues by yourself? By that I mean you don't have a tendency to ask for help from anyone? Do you feel a definite urge to 'act responsibly' or feel that to ask others for something is being a burden on them or may open you up to a debt to someone else? Just curious. You don't have to answer those questions if you'd rather not.
Sometimes highly intelligent and sensitive people; especially those with the kind of high intelligence that is worldly or spiritual rather than mostly book-learned; can actually get blocked or block themselves from the Creative Forces by the demands; whether real, imagined, or created; of the physical world. You don't have, or at least remember, your dreams; yet apparently something is going on while you sleep, judging by your reported actions during sleep. I wonder if it might not be the Creative Forces trying to get through to you but your Will is blocking it because it is dominated by your strong ties to the physical plane or your strong Ego (Your Gestalt or Earthly Orientation).
If you want to remember your dreams I believe you will end up having to make a conscious effort to lower your shields and open yourself up to the possibilities. Maybe by meditating on this issue right before going to bed or something.
Again. no offense intended. Just some thoughts.
One Walker.
We have seen what Power does.
We have seen what Power costs.
One is never equal to the other.
We have seen what Power costs.
One is never equal to the other.
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stoneheart
No offence taken, what so ever.
As for your questions,
I never ask for any help, I never feel like anyone really understands what I mean and I've always been self reliant (I didn't even want my mom to drive me to school when it was raining, I even went to school sick because I didn't want my parents to keep me home and take care of me, those events happened when I was only 10 :$)
And all my life is about acting responsibly, I always do what I'm "supposed" to do, even if no one is asking. And regardless of what my own needs are at that particular time.
I want to thank you, for your answer, I'm not sure what I'm to do with it yet, but it really is the first time I feel anyone is taking it seriously. You really listened to me and even seem to understand me. Thank you so much!
As for your questions,
I never ask for any help, I never feel like anyone really understands what I mean and I've always been self reliant (I didn't even want my mom to drive me to school when it was raining, I even went to school sick because I didn't want my parents to keep me home and take care of me, those events happened when I was only 10 :$)
And all my life is about acting responsibly, I always do what I'm "supposed" to do, even if no one is asking. And regardless of what my own needs are at that particular time.
I want to thank you, for your answer, I'm not sure what I'm to do with it yet, but it really is the first time I feel anyone is taking it seriously. You really listened to me and even seem to understand me. Thank you so much!
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One Walker
- Posts: 594
- Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 4:42 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Minnesota, USA
Hello again stoneheart!
If it was of some help I'm very glad! There was a time when I was much the same way. If I may voice an idea:
You say people report you scream, cry, shout, and flex your muscles during sleep. Perhaps it is time to scream, shout, cry, and flex your muscles during your waking day? Let more of the inner you out? In my case there were Truths which I knew as being of the self-evident variety that I was suppressing for the sake of being 'socially acceptable' and it was causing problems. My Personality (your 'public' face) was getting in the way of my Individuality (your True Inner Self) and it was cross-circuiting me, making me depressed and making people around me somewhat uncomfortable. I finally broke out of it because I simply got tired of being depressed all the time (because I was suppressing an essential part of who I was) and made a conscious decision to NOT be depressed anymore by letting those things of my Inner Self, or Individuality, integrate with my Personality.
You obviously have people in your life that you trust since you sleep around them so, if you're interested in trying this, it might be well to start there as they are the most understanding people you know. After all, if you wouldn't think twice about calling them at 2 AM if you really needed to talk to someone, what else is there that would hold you back? Perhaps if you did this you might discover the true source of this disparity you seem to be experiencing.
I may be way off base here but it's just an idea. You know yourself better than anyone else so it's really up to you to dig out the root of the issue. You are intelligent, or should I say wise enough, to do so and I believe you're honest enough to handle whatever you find. Honesty, especially honesty with yourself, is quite often at the root of the clash between putting on facades for other people and being your true self or letting that true self out. Remember that people don't really judge you, they just judge themselves against you. And who cares about that?
After all, you ARE self-reliant so you're strong enough to stand your own ground. You know that when you truly believe yourself to be right in something you should stick to your guns no matter what others say or think. AND you know how to do so and argue your case without being offensive. That is to say, you can do it tactfully without shoving it in someone's face or down their throat, eh? (Even though there are times when you desperately want to do so! ) Know what you Know and Be who You are!
Blessings to you!
One Walker.
If it was of some help I'm very glad! There was a time when I was much the same way. If I may voice an idea:
You say people report you scream, cry, shout, and flex your muscles during sleep. Perhaps it is time to scream, shout, cry, and flex your muscles during your waking day? Let more of the inner you out? In my case there were Truths which I knew as being of the self-evident variety that I was suppressing for the sake of being 'socially acceptable' and it was causing problems. My Personality (your 'public' face) was getting in the way of my Individuality (your True Inner Self) and it was cross-circuiting me, making me depressed and making people around me somewhat uncomfortable. I finally broke out of it because I simply got tired of being depressed all the time (because I was suppressing an essential part of who I was) and made a conscious decision to NOT be depressed anymore by letting those things of my Inner Self, or Individuality, integrate with my Personality.
You obviously have people in your life that you trust since you sleep around them so, if you're interested in trying this, it might be well to start there as they are the most understanding people you know. After all, if you wouldn't think twice about calling them at 2 AM if you really needed to talk to someone, what else is there that would hold you back? Perhaps if you did this you might discover the true source of this disparity you seem to be experiencing.
I may be way off base here but it's just an idea. You know yourself better than anyone else so it's really up to you to dig out the root of the issue. You are intelligent, or should I say wise enough, to do so and I believe you're honest enough to handle whatever you find. Honesty, especially honesty with yourself, is quite often at the root of the clash between putting on facades for other people and being your true self or letting that true self out. Remember that people don't really judge you, they just judge themselves against you. And who cares about that?
After all, you ARE self-reliant so you're strong enough to stand your own ground. You know that when you truly believe yourself to be right in something you should stick to your guns no matter what others say or think. AND you know how to do so and argue your case without being offensive. That is to say, you can do it tactfully without shoving it in someone's face or down their throat, eh? (Even though there are times when you desperately want to do so! ) Know what you Know and Be who You are!Blessings to you!
One Walker.
We have seen what Power does.
We have seen what Power costs.
One is never equal to the other.
We have seen what Power costs.
One is never equal to the other.
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