I got this exercise from my horoscope on Yahoo a month or so ago and I have to admit it was incredibly helpful. It might seem a bit mundane at first but it is healing and will help you let go and overcome some things. It is geared towards relationships and helping you break bad relationship cycles but I'm sure it can be applied to other situations as well (ie friendships). The idea is that you make two lists: one is a list of things you loved and the other is a list of things you loathed. You can use one partner, or all of them, just as long as you make the lists and keep in mind what they're for. Don't limit yourself in what you write down. For instance, if you feel that two traits or actions are different enough to put them down separately, then do so, don't group them together just because you think someone else might view them as being the same thing. These lists are for you and you don't need to share them with anyone. When you're done (and this wasn't in the horoscope lol) you can either hang on to them to look at later, or you can get rid of them in whatever fashion seems appropriate (fire, burial, water, etc). If your ex or exes seemed to lean towards a particular element I would try to stay away from using that element for disposal unless it's one you're strong with. I had a few things from an ex of mine a while back who was nothing but fire and instead of burning the items to get rid of the connection like I wanted to I threw it all in the trash after ripping it up. I knew eventually it would find its way to a landfill and be buried. Earth smothers fire and pulls out the energy to neutralize it.
When I did this exercise for myself I didn't make a love list. I came up with just over 100 things I hated (yes, I actually counted) but I couldn't come up with one thing I loved from the 3 relationships I was drawing from. I also created another list where I included things that were ruined/almost ruined for me by past boyfriends and that list was quite long as well. But it did help me take back some things I had previously found joy or entertainment in. This list is especially good if you've been with a manipulator because one of the main tactics they use is making sure that you associate as much as possible with them, that way they're always in your head. This can be anything from music to clothes to movies to foods or places you want to visit and/or live. Admittedly 2 of my exes almost ruined my desire to visit Salem, Mass, and one almost completely ruined both Labyrinth and Legend. But hey, David Bowie can't be copied or beat, especially when he's got the crazy 80s hair going and is covered in glitter and "flattering" outfits
Add any other lists you feel you need to make; the point is to bring the issues to the surface and confront them. Bad memories may stir up, but it would be the same as if you were trying to deal with it in a different way. Face the darkness and then let it go, because if you cling and keep all this inside it has the potential to damage your future relationships, be they platonic or romantic.
I hope this does someone some good, and if anyone needs any advice or help just let me know
I feel like I made a third list of something, but I can't remember what and I'm feeling too lazy to pull it out and look lol