Ahriman

[Amaris]

I started a few years ago to be very interested in Ahriman. It was something suddenly after I had a dream with him and I even started to write a novel about him because that is what I felt I needed to do (but at some point I stopped writing it because there were some images that came into my mind and they weren't pleasant at all). For more than a few months I was thinking constantly to him, but on that time I was not interested in finding a patron God. For some weeks now, I started to think about my patron God and all that came into my mind was Ahriman. There is no other God I could think of and is just strange for me, because from my research he is kind of "evil" And not any other name came to me and I started to be obsessed with this God.
Anyway, while I was researching on the internet about him I found different opinions on him. Some think about Ahriman as a God and some just as a demon. But the thing is that my matron is Selene and I am mostly interested in the Greek Pantheon and that is why this is so strange to me, because Ahriman is not part of the Greek Pantheon. Besides, I feel like they work good together and there is harmony between them and I fell like they... Fit perfectly and he even interfered while I was talking (this was one of the signs that made me think even more about him. I was talking about Gods and Goddesses with my boyfriend and suddenly, without realising it I told him that I worship Ahriman... and I wasn't even thinking about him then). Still, the idea of having Ahriman as my patron God scares me a little, especially after what I found in my research and sometimes, while I pronounce his name, even if it's just in my mind I feel a slight pain on both sides of my head... But in the same time it makes me happy and in the past while I was having numerous dreams about him he never did anything bad to me. One time he even showed me something about my past life when I needed some help.
So... I think I just need some advices about this situation and something more about Ahriman because I wish to understand better what is going on (My heart tells me to accept him, but my mind keeps opposing it). By the way, another strange thing is that I started to think about him after I decided that is time to make my altar. (I moved a lot in the past and I didn't feel like making an altar then).

Thank you in advance if you wish to answer me.

Amaryss