After reading some of these threads....

[lek]

....I'm wondering if it is safe for men.

I do accept nearly 95% of men today are buttholes [yes that sounds dorky, but I'm not sure of the swearing policy here ]

I listen to guys I know, and it's all about "scoring" I really have to admit that just confuses me. I'm looking for a meaningful relationship with a woman, someone I can call my friend who I like to hang out with and do stuff with and my lover to look out for her and take care of her. I couldn't fathom doing something to bring on such heartfelt pain to a woman I loved. It is just contrary to my nature.

However, many men wouldn't think twice about lying or hurting a woman to get what they want.

I guess what women should be thinking going into relationships, is be hard to get. [Note: Being hard to get doesn't equate to be mean]

The jerks won't want to work for you, but the nice guys will. If you meet a guy you like, let it drop casually that you're single. I can't tell you how many times I would have loved to get a green light like that! Sometimes that's all a guy needs....

But, don't give him anything more until he proves something to you. What that something is, only you know...it could be moral character, strength, depends entirely on you.

[BlackenedRose*]

That's nice advice, lek. Thanks!

[lek]

Just trying to help

Another thing I might add is this:

Don't be afraid of losing the guy. A nice guy will respect you for being hard to get...it shows you respect yourself and you're not just going to let just any guy be with you. He'll appreciate that, and it'll give him something to work for. As long as he knows your available, he'll try and prove himself to you. But he will be nervous....

I don't think you women know the power you have over men. On first approach we feel like fighter pilots flying through thick anti-aircraft fire. Any harsh word or cold glance will send us crashing and burning....


Bear in mind....all this will only work for nice guys....can't give advice on the scoundrels

[Irisis Cada-Merrell]

That's all so true!! GO LEK!!! ^-^

Freya

[elizabeth0126]

Not all guys are bad, but there are alot that are. Especially the younger ones. I got married when I was 16, at the time my husband was 23. Now I am 21 and he is 28. And even now my husband is more of a kid than I am. But I also had to grow up alot faster than he did. He has really done alot of growing up since we have been married though.
The only thing you can really do in a relationship is be careful, and do not take any crap.

[Irisis Cada-Merrell]

Wow, really? That young? I have to admire you. I'll bet your parents didn't like it.

[elizabeth0126]

My mom has to sign for me. She knew I was happy, so she was ok with it. My mom had gotten married young too, but come to find out he was a cross dresser, lol.

[Irisis Cada-Merrell]

^-^ Wow. My mother would completely flip out. (She doesn't even want me to move when I go to uni. Isn't that all part of the experience??) She has really shallow ideas about anyone under the age of 35 who uses the word 'love'. She assumes it's an excuse to go to bed with them.

[IceDragonX]

I happen to live with all guys. And they are all very different, so I wouldn't doubt that not all men are "like that." One is more about scoring, but when he is in a relationship he's very commited as well. Another is kind of shy towards women and has no idea what he is doing. The last is really friendly towards everyone and seems like a nice guy.

It is a very strange situation living with all guys, but they are nice the majority of the time. lol. Sometimes they are jerks too. But you know, I guess when you live with mostly guys, you can't expect to be treated like one of the girls all of the time.

I don't recommend living in a situation like this (neither a guy living with all females), the other female roomate moved out recently with her new BF and the only person we could find was a friend of one of the guys. And just in case you are wondering, I don't get hit on, its very platonic. It is an interesting experience though, especially on the patience side.

[Sobek]

i hate when chicks play hard to get, it turns me off. They always come across vain.

i may be asking for a bit much out of life but all i want is a person who i can relate to, one who understands and accepts me. and most importantly someone who can stand the sight of me lol.

but you know you get all those people saying the best way to go about it is to be yourself and i feel that is true delusion is a strong force and makes it that much worse when the truth is found because one side of the ordeal usually leaves feeling very inadequate.

[IceDragonX]

You know, to be honest, being myself has never got me anywhere with people. Its when I am completely uninterested is when all of a sudden people won't leave me alone. People are weird like that. When I am honest, kind, responsible, and show genuine interest in some one, I get ignored. So what is a girl to do??? I have no idea, but I am sure not catching anyone I am interested. How many guys really want that genuine girl that will call you when she say she will and not play games with you? I am not sure anymore. Yet I think there is a difference between hard to get and plain not interested too.

[Comus]

Thanks Lek, you da man!

[[GeekyPagan]]

I don't play hard to get.


I was just myself and I met the love of my life, the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with. I didn't have to play any games, nor did he.

If you feel you have to play games, maybe it's not right? Love shouldn't be about games.


On a related note to what Lek said, Alot of women, for WHATEVER reason always choose the wrong guy, the one who cheats or is just a plain dog, but time after time go back to that kind of guy. In my collegey world, alot of these asshole men tend to be good looking. Because they are handsome, they figure they can get away with it. Some of these girls are so shallow, they wouldn't look twice at a guy who looks more like Steve Urkel than say Brad Pitt....but they will treat her like gold.

[Kristofski]

The problem with the whole playing hard to get thingis that it's assuming that the guy has enough confidence in his own charms and abilities to pull to keep at it. Personally, if someone was like that with me my reaction would be "ok, they're not interested then, seems like nothing's going to happen". And I'm one of the nice guys. My girlfriend and I were friends for about a year before we got together, and it was intoxification that eventually brought us together. Apart from that, I'm really bad at taking hints and seeing subtext. If someone acts like they're not interested I'll assume they're not interested and just be friends with them.
Kristofski xx

[IceDragonX]

Same here, if it seems like they are ignoring me or not really interested, I take it as that, regardless they liked me or not. If you like me back, show some interest, darn it!! I dont like to play those games to be honest, but I am also a bit shy with people at times.

As my "nice guy" friend told me once, "A friend told me she wished she met a guy like me...and then I replied to her, "But I AM a guy like me!!!"

lol. I wish I was there for her reaction. so funny.