If you don't have everything you need, or think you need, and your need for a spell is dire, you work with what you have (Believe me, the gods and the energies you work with know what circumstances you find yourself in, and tend to be understanding of that). Tools are, for the most part, focal aids. They can help you concentrate your intent, but they aren't strictly necessary.
There are many different kinds of altars, and no two witches, or pagans, are going to set theirs up in the same way. My first altar was a chair with a white towel draped over it, one bowl of water, and one bowl of salt (because I simply had nothing else to work with), but I still felt a connection to my gods and still had a successful divination that night. It's the intention behind it, what you're using it for, is what makes an altar an altar. I came to that chair, knelt, and poured my heart out, and dedicated myself that night to walking my path. Haven't looked back since.
Over time, I built up from those simple pieces, and when I felt that I had everything I wanted for an altar, I felt that I was ready to go a step further from an initiate to a witch. I, like my altar, felt complete.
As far as the gods go, in my experience,
they choose
you. While some people feel an instant connection to certain deities, others take years of searching and meditation until they connect. Others go through life with no dominant deity in their life whatsoever.
And to answer your final query, no, I personally don't think one way of celebrating the Sabbats is any better than another. It's what feels right to you, what is within your means, and what helps make the meaning of the Sabbat resonate with you. They're times of reflection and times of connection, with the universe and with each other. They're meant to bring us closer to the gods, to the earth, and to our spiritual selves. Just lighting a candle or spending time stargazing can be powerful, spiritual experiences that forge just that kind of connection.
Also, it might be helpful to you to take a look through our F.A.Q. section: there's lots of threads there where people have asked similar questions, and you might find some further answers there, specifically these two:
http://everythingunderthemoon.net/forum ... 24451.html
http://everythingunderthemoon.net/forum ... 25831.html
. Herbal teas are a multi tasking resource. Herbs, incense & oils go by scent: sweet
smelling for peace & love, citrusy
for uplifting & cleansing, & spicy 🌶 for protection. Any palm sized stone you like has uses for grounding, stress relief & spells. Let Nature show you through your senses.
to cast 
. Anything after that is optional. Calling the quarters holds a circle in place. Invite deities for worship and partnership. A blessed meal says thanks. Farewell deities and release the quarters to set all back to normal. Ground yourself so you aren’t spacey.