Looking for the God (2 are not enough, and 3 makes a crowd)

[Soni]

I guess I should start by saying I don't believe in personal gods - but I feel very strongly about duality and I believe in energies to which my gods are a personification. I started worshipping one Goddess, Sekhmet... I'm not sure if it was her who found me or me being obsessed because I loved her when I first heard about her, instantly. The only problem was - I couldn't find a God. Because Sekhmet has the qualities of a God rather than a Goddess not only I couldn't find a God good enough to beat her at being a God - moreover she didn't seem to fit into the Goddess archetype at all. Not that I wanted her to, but I needed one, her polar opposite. And then I realized that Sekhmet was the GOD not the Goddess and almost instantly as I though of it, Bastet came to my mind as her counterpart. In the Egyptian pantheon they're sisters, one associated with the sun and other with the moon. Their cult was at one point fused, making them two parts of one thing, perfect duality to me. Even if my Gods are actually Goddesses they make a perfect duality and representation of the energy as I experience it. But I still feel that I'm missing something crucial and need the God... yet moving my two patron Goddesses out of their positions doesn't work, doesn't feel right at all. And I can't connect with the Maiden-Mother-Crone idea at all. Having three gods doesn't work, I don't believe in numbers 1 and 3, everything in nature comes in 2s.

Has any of you ever felt this way and if so how did it end for you? Are you still looking for the missing piece(s)?

[Siona]

And then I realized that Sekhmet was the GOD not the Goddess and almost instantly as I though of it, Bastet came to my mind as her counterpart. In the Egyptian pantheon they're sisters, one associated with the sun and other with the moon.

For whatever it might be worth, in classical Egyptian religion they were both sun goddesses, it wasn't until the Greek conquest of Egypt that Bast began having ties to the moon, and that came through the Greeks, not the Egyptians.

The Egyptians also very frequently worshiped deities in trinities. In Memphis the trinity was Sekhmet, Ptah, and their child Nefertem. Nature does present its trinities as well, and they pop up often in quite a few classical pagan religions, so that might be something to explore. Of course, perhaps two pairs of two is also something to consider.

Has any of you ever felt this way and if so how did it end for you? Are you still looking for the missing piece(s)?

Yes, a bit. I am personally not so much concerned with the gender and break up of roles in that, but at times in my path it did feel like there were gaps in other ways. Some I filled in myself, by deliberately making the choice to honor a particular deity to get that balance (like balancing Artemis' wild aspects with Hestia's home-focused aspects), other times the gaps seemed to fill themselves in as I gained more understanding, or a new deity came into my life in one way or another.

I know a lot of people find meaning in working with a god/goddess pair, or a particular number, or whatever else, but for me it really helped to let go of all that when I left Wicca and got into other traditions, and just sort of let things fall where they would. Not worrying about such restrictions really helped me, but that might not be as easy for those who find deeper meaning in those areas than I did.

[SnowCat]

I think that things come in the number and fashion that's needed. I have strong ties to both Bast and Sekhmet. I also have strong ties to Loki and Freya. And Anubis also has a role in my life. I suspect that there are others who have yet to reveal themselves specifically.

Snow