Hello from your royal highness! Skeptic, & I want to believe

[Princessia]

Age: 23
Gender: Female
Likes: Music (EDM, metal, rock, punk, classical), art, graphic novels, and making new friends!
Dislikes: I'm pretty tolerant. I don't have many dislikes.
Hobbies: I do knitting and crochet, journaling, messing around on the internet all day.
Country: United States
MBTI/Enneagram: ENFP 3w4

I'm looking forward to sticking around. I've made a lot of friends on previous forums. I'm very interested in paganism as whole. I used to be a devout believer when I was 13-15, but I faded away from all religion for a long time. I slowly turned into an agnostic, and I was bordering on atheism. I met a few friends who made me question everything I thought I knew, and it turned me into a pretty intense skeptic.

I wish I could just drop everything and believe again. I'm definitely missing the spirituality I used to have, but I'm struggling to believe in something that won't scientifically test to be accurate. Regardless, I have dabbled in mediation and the Law of Attraction. For me, these experiences were very important. The Law of Attraction tested 9/10 times to be true over time (2 years). My theory is that witchcraft and wicca have similar attributes because the universe works in mysterious ways.

I'm hoping this works out, but I'm definitely pretty lost. I need to fill this void in my heart, and I'm hoping this helps me feel like myself again! I can't wait to feel like my normal energetic self again.

Let me know if you have any advice for someone like me. I really want to believe that this is real.

[SnowCat]

Welcome. You sound like a Scully who happened into a forum full of Mulders. Just take things one day at a time. The path can be smooth, rocky, fluid, underwater, all of the above and then some. I don't think mine has ever been dull.

Snow

[SpiritTalker]

Greetings and welcome. It takes time and awareness to move from our beards to our hearts. Blessings.

[Princessia]

Thanks! Yeah, I want to believe soo bad. It's crazy. There's definitely a real energy here, I can't deny that. I definitely want to be involved in this, it is very special to me.

I have been hurt by a religion before...so many prayers that feel like wasted time and seemed to fall on deaf ears. It's possible that things could have been worse and I was being protected somehow, but I can't see what could have been. I can only see what is. I just don't wanna be hurt again, but I have a good feeling about this.

Thanks so much for the positive vibes, everyone. I'm definitely open minded, and I'm going to throw myself into learning and experiencing as much as I can. I'm very excited!

[TwilightDancer]

Welcome to the forum!

There are many paths being followed here. Don't feel like you have to devote yourself to one specific path right away. Take your time to find out what connects with you the most.

[Princessia]

So I went to my local wiccan supply store. I felt an urge to spend time around the energies in that place. I bought some incense, incense holder, small rose quartz stone, and a maneki neko resin statue for my husband as a gift. He has always liked them, and I didn't see this little guy until my third pass. Cute, right? Total was ~$12.

After that I noticed a 'GRAB BAG'. I asked about it, and the lady at the register told me it was full of candles and various knick knacks. I normally get super unlucky with these kind of deals. It never works out in my favor. I decided I'd get some expensive $15 grab bag candles and call it a day. I was trying to feel really spiritually open, and I decided this was definitely something I was drawn into buying.

I had never seen so much stuff in my life! Wow! I got super lucky for the first time ever. It had everything I needed to start a small altar. Snail shells for water, a carved owl for air, soy candle for spark/fire, and a legitimate fossil for earth. Incredible. I really wanted to start an alter, but I've been low on money lately. My fault, of course.

I want you to know that I have been on a huge jewelry binge for the last month. I didn't have the money to buy a huge sterling silver collection, but I know a lot about jewelry. I know a ton. This is about $100-150 worth of silver. I'm 100% serious. Each piece has a 925 mark for genuine silver. I've wanted jewelry so badly...woww!!!

[Princessia]

Sorry, I ran out of attachments. Continued!

Here's a close up of some of the pieces.

Anyway, I'm stunned for a few reasons.

1. Honestly, I haven't been feeling well lately. My energy has been fatigued. I'm self employed, so if I am not working then I'm not getting paid. My life is great, I make nice money when I actually work...but bad habits and health issues have lead me to be lazy. I asked the gods and goddesses for a change, and I was hoping they would deliver somehow...
2. I didn't buy my mother or grandmother any gifts for Mother's Day. Both of the boxed items are perfect for them. The icing on the cake? My mother loves elves, and my grandmother adores watercolor, especially yellow. Both options came in this grab bag.
3. Everything I need for a quick alter is already here.
4. How did I manage to attract so much jewelry?! Wow. This was truly a gift. I've been all over jewelry lately.
5. The icing on the cake for me was there was a postcard included for a spell. It's called "Health, Wealth, and Break Old Habits". That's literally exactly what I asked for and needed at this exact moment. How?! Amazing.

[Princessia]

So basically, in summary--

All of my immediate issues have been fixed because I decided to listen to my feelings about something. Not only were my problems solved, but I was heavily rewarded.

To me, this is definitely a sign of some kind. I don't know how to begin. Do I say thanks? How? What do you make of this? I need guidance for sure, I'm still quite new.

[TwilightDancer]

It seems like you're finding answers. That's awesome.
Simply lighting a candle and saying thanks and asking for continued guidance during this time of learning will do.


Great finds!

[WiccanWitch]

Princessia, a certain level of skepticism is healthy but careful to not have so much it blinds you. That being said, I welcome you openly and hope you find a supportive and embracing community here. I struggled with religion for years before I finally had a name for what I believed. That name was Wicca. Everyone it will be different, but I hope you find your path and peace.