A Recent Spread I Am Scared Of

[Danek]

Hi everyone, I recently did a spread and it concerns me. I know nothing is set in stone but I want to understand this spread and any help would be amazing. I ask for a broad spread on my relationship with my boyfriend. Here is the spread for that. (Past Present Future)



My boyfriend freaked out hardcore, so I asked for another card to help represent the future spot, to either explain more in detail on the card or give just more info on the future spot.

I told the deck I would only get one card and this card fell out of the deck: Five of Cups

Not telling my boyfriend I was thinking maybe there would be a card that could still help out but not give my boyfriend a heart attack so I drew another card asking for more details. This is the card I got: Five of Pentacles

What on Earth?! This is terrifying! Please someone help out with this, I haven't seen such unpleasant cards be drawn.

Thank you
-Danek

[Xiao Rong]

Hi Danek, I don't see any of those cards as extremely negative -- in fact, no card is a 100% negative symbol of doom (I've had some really great experiences that changed my life for the better after drawing the Tower!). The 8 of Cups I see as a sign of diving deep, exploring the hidden, innermost emotions. The 9 of Swords represents some worry and distress, but as a Minor Arcana card, it is not indicative of a permanent pattern, but merely one related to the current situation. The 5 of Cups represents grief, but usually it indicates that in our grief we are missing some other important blessings in our life. Similarly, the 5 of Pentacles represents some anxiety or concern, but with the promise of solace nearby if we are prepared to see it.

All in all, I would interpret your Past-Present-Future spread this way: Initially, you had a clear sense of what you wanted and (probably in reference to your relationship) and you were driven and goal-directed. Currently you're at a transitional point in your life, when you are reconnecting to some deeper part of yourself. You're probably rethinking some of the things that you once wanted, and finding out that you have new and different dreams now. Of course this is going to affect your relationship, and cause some friction. In every relationship, both of you will change over time, and have to renegotiate your connection to each other. All change brings about some anxiety, but people in healthy relationships figure out how to grow together and become even stronger. I find it significant that 5's keep cropping up -- the 5's in Tarot usually indicate change and new cycles. You will have challenges, but they are not insurmountable and they can lead to even bigger and better things.

Of course, the future is never fixed with the Tarot. These only represent likely patterns for where you are heading currently, but you can of course always alter the course.

[Danek]

Wow. Thank you so much for the response. I appreciate it so much! That's helped me so much. I have to say though, should I not be focusing on the book my cards came with? For instance all the Nine of Swords explanation is this: This card indicates a time of great misery, sadness, and depression. There could be a permanent loss or death of someone close to you. Severe illness is possible.

Your explanation is so fantastic, I'm so new to tarot so following my book I only see possible death, possible horrible and great sadness in the relationship. You've got such an amazing full reading and mines so short taking it directly from the book.

I'm at the point now any card (remembering the pictures on it) I'll remember the basic meaning. I love the deck, some things are different than normal tarot. I think it is the wands and cups are swapped. Should I get a new deck where I can get more of an explanation of each card? I mean it came from books a million and I do love the deck I just want to make sure I'm understanding the cards as I should.

-Danek

[Xiao Rong]

Hi Danek, I'd recommend this website as a resource: http://www.learntarot.com/. It does a really great job of showcasing many different possible meanings for each card. It even has a self-paced, free course for learning the Tarot, which is how I got started.

Yes, I would say that you should not focus too much on the book your cards with -- it sounds like it's way, way oversimplified. I suspect it may also be overemphasizing the "dire" outcomes for shock value. Every card (even the Minor Arcana) represents very complex ideas that can be interpreted very differently, which is why every tarot deck is so unique and interesting. It is commonly accepted that even cards you'd think are straightforward (like Death or the Devil) shouldn't be thought of as literally, but as metaphors. Over time, I've found that the "official" meaning of the cards is just one part of the equation. I also rely on the artwork, my past experiences with a card, whatever intuition that card jogs, how it fits into the whole spread, the numbers, the elements, Major/Minor Arcana ... ultimately, the Tarot is a tool for your own intuition, and merely creates space for your own inner wisdom to come through. Hope that helps!

[..........]

You know, I read tarot all the time. As a Witch once told me, "If you don't like the outcome, change it!" I used to believe that I couldn't, and that was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. There is no such thing as fate, only probability... except for this is life, and chaos gets thrown in there. That isn't fate either, just freedom. As for cards like the ones you're getting, try to ask yourself what specifically it means, not to the spread, but how it applies or could apply in your life, right now. You usually know on a visceral level what card corresponds to what situation in your life, even the future ones. Tarot only indicates what is likely in the future based on your current attitude, game plan, personality, and the situation. You can change everything if you change your attitude and game plan. YOU are in control. Never forget that!

However. I do hope you are reading the proper way, invoking a Deity in sacred space, using properly cleansed and consecrated cards. If you are not, the readings are likely to always hurt and/or confuse you instead of illuminate you, because any old spirit can mess with it.

P.S. When I get cards that freak me out, sometimes I just dump the layout and say "Forget it." I always try to keep in mind Harry Potter and Ron Weasley fudging their astrology charts and fudging their scrying with pure disgust.