What do we tell our children about our path?

[GenevieveDawn]

I am really struggling with this and wonder what all of you think. My oldest child wil be 10 this summer. It is getting impossible to hide all of my things from her. She knows mom plays cards with people (tarot) mom likes candles, etc. She thinks the books of mine that she has seen glimpses of are fictional books about witches and such.

I do not want to freak my children out by them knowing there mother is a witch. I do want them to be able to choose their own path in life. I wonder if for a child or adolescent if it would be too much to deal with. They couldn't tell there friends. My daugther has alot of the same knowledge that I do and I would like to pass what I know down to here some day, I just don't know the proper age. As of now I occasinally take them to church for the basic relgious exposure even though often I have to grit my teeth because I disagree with so much that is being preached.

So enough of that, what do you parents here tell you're children about all of this, and those who don't have children, what would your plan of action be for this.

Thanks in advance for the input,

Gen

[[aphrodite]]

I have 2 kids, but they are both under 5 so I don't really know what to say. I do think about how I'm going to tell them when they're older, as for now I do the same as you and hide all my stuff. I have no idea when the right age is, I'm guessing we just know when it's time and take it from there.
I hope someone else can give you better advise than me.
Good luck.


blessed be
APHRODITE
XXX

[[Kristin]]

I don't know that there is a good time. My kids are in college....and they think I have gone off the deep end. They also see the books and the candles and the downloaded pages from internet. I have just simply stated that Mom is following another spiritual path to learn more about the universe and it's workings. My daughter read one book I have about Wicca,however, and found it interesting. So go figure?
I guess you just have to find the right words. This is not for everyone and maybe they will not find it interesting or make sense. Alot depends on their level of maturity. When my children want to question me about certain things, I can tell them now that " we can agree to disagree " and we can leave things in somewhat a good way. But small children are more inclined to ask lots of questions.
Nyte is a good one to ask...she has an opinion about this, I'm sure, having small children.
But, I still think that the way you word it will be the key for them to understand a bit and not freak out.
I know others here also have children. Maybe they can be of some more help to you....but I do know what you mean by asking this question.
You don't want to be invited to career day at their school because your kids have told the class that you are a witch!!!!!!!!!

[juliaki]

I've watched quite a few kids being raised in a coven setting, and found that honesty does seem to be the best policy with them. When my boyfriend and I finally do settle down enough to start a family, our kids will be active in the age appopriate coven activities. In addition, I feel that children should be well-rounded for their spiritual beliefs, so they will be exposed to other religious events when they are old enough to be respectful, objective, and interested in them.

[GenevieveDawn]

I did show and explain somewhat, my tarot cards to my daugther yesterday. A few people have been coming by for readings so I figured I should tell her. I also explained to her (since she has seen an angel) that not everyone believes those types of things are possible, but if you continue to believe that YES these things are out there and yes you did see it, you will most likely continue to see them. I really worry about her telling her friends. This town has maybe 1500 people. Not good. If I was in a larger area, I could find pagan activities or a coven and they could go. I don't think it'd be as werid if you grew up thinking it was normal.

Even kid shows protray witches as evil people. I hear it all the time in their movies. There's a Scooby Doo called "Witches Ghost", it pretty much says that Wiccans are good and Witches are bad. I had a little talk with them after that one. One lady I know had her children watch a few episodes of Charmed before she told them. I have never seen that show so I don't know what to think of her approach.

[[Star In Love]]

Hi, GenevieveDawn,

I think you are handling this in the right way, tell them what is going on as it comes up, like with the readings. When they ask questions, you can answer them as honestly as possible, most of the kids these days, are pretty open to spriit stuff, which is what I call what I do, for it covers everything, without getting into being a witch. I agree about TV, it has ruined the "witch" name. In reallity a witch is someone who works with nature in the most natural way, and very positive. Someone running bad energy really isn't a witch, but a negitive force in the world.

Your kids will understand more than you think, just intuitivly, and you want them to be able to come to you with anything, of course. You could call yourself a natural witch or a earth witch, may are doing that now. Showing that what we work with is natural and from Earth.


STAR

[Aubrey Rose5]

well since im only 14 i think i am able to give advice on a kids point of view (although it was i who told my momwhat i was studying) if my mom had just come out and said pint blank im a witch honey i would have no clue what to think but i like your idae of slowly progressing like the tarrot cards were a good start because then after a while they will know what you are doing with out you having to sit them down and tell them in one big swoop. thats just my child ( well young teen) point of veiw

[Skylights]

I don't have any children of my own yet, but I finally came to the conclusion that I just won't hide anything from them, but I also won't preach to them. If they want to ask why Mommy has so many candles or what she's doing in her bedroom all alone sometimes (or why Mommy smiles at Daddy so much on April 31st ), I'll explain what I believe to them. I think if they grow up seeing things and gradually learning, then it won't be too much of a shock when they realize what's going on.

Good luck!

[Moon_Stone]

Good point Skylights (although it'd be April 30th, there aren't 31 days in April... but we know what you mean )

I have a nine year old, and I think I've had this conversation before somewhere on the forum. Eitherway though, this is definitely a difficult subject. There is a fine line between honesty and burden here. You hit the nail right on the head Gen when you said that you, by telling your kids, don't want to be burdening them with having to keep your secret. I can tell you though, we live in a larger area with a much greater population (California too- the most "accepting" state) and have at least two supply shops in my area... but my religious beliefs are still something that has to be hidden. I think this is unfortunately true for anywhere. It seems that people just can't understand, especially when/if it comes from their child, that someone they know is a Witch. Surprisingly though, it's the parent's poison that causes the problem, not the child or their opinion.

I had decided to tell my daughter last year, although being more a Wiccan than a practicing Witch, I am able to use that "less frightening" term. Even so though, I did tell her that this knowledge is not something she should talk to her friends about- and I explained to her why this is. I think that she is coming to see that this is just a part of who I am, and that it's not something spectacular to need to talk about anyway. (She does still reserve her comments though when her friends are talking to her about Jesus and God.)

Sadly though, if you look at it- by our telling our children about this at an ever increasing younger age, we're teaching them more about the horrors of man than we are of our point of view.

With Erin (my daughter), it was becoming more mandatory that I told her about this as she was demonstrating her own interest in feelings she had, and most often of her prophetic dreams. She was also talking of spirits quite a bit, and was starting to have some altercations with schoolmates, insisting that she did have "visions". I kind of felt that she needed to have a better understanding of what she might be seeing and feeling before she spoke one too many times and was labeled a Witch herself... in the third grade.

Regardless though, this is a personal decision for everyone. Only you know your child well enough to answer the question of 'are they ready'. I do tend to agree that honesty is best, but burden can sometimes be worse. Ultimately we could be stealing away their childhood by teaching them that now that they have this information, they need to understand that it is not accepted nor "normal"...
...but on the other hand, if enough of us show them our way, a day may come in the future where being a Witch is just as normal and acceptable as anything else.

~BB~

[hawthornefaery]

I have two girls one is 4 and the other is 2. They are still quite young. I think being open and honest with your child is very important. Be proud of who you are and what you believe in. Your children love you regardless of what others think. Also by saying to your child that not everyone is comfortable with your beliefs that you would like it kept between you and her. You are being open to her about other beliefs like taking her to church, you need to be open to her about your beliefs because they are very important. Having spiritual beliefs in any form is very important in child development. I have a great book that I love to share it is called Circle Round...raising children in Goddess Tradition. It is wonderful. I have recommened it to other parents raising pagan children and have gotten great feed backs from them. Please check it out if you have not heard of it.

Be strong and truthful to your self and your children.

Many Blessings
Hawthorne Faery

[Winter Whitehorse]

I myself have a teenage daugther. I myself was raised in a family that (get this) is Native Americian, Rom Gypsy and Christian. Iam very happy about this now and try to expose my daughter to as much as possible. With life in general. She is not me and is making her own path. I try to set an example more than anything. She has her areas that she likes and I try to help. She is an herb and candle girl so far. I think if we practice being a good person you cant go wrong

[Ronnoc]

I'm abit young to have an idea about how to tell children of the problem, however i do know abit about a the mind, and people find it easer to except somthing if they beleive in it, ask you child about it, see weather or not she believes in magic before worring, if she dose it should be easyer to tell her of your beliefs, if she dosent then well i havent thought of that yet...

[killawa]

MY son is only 2 so, I don't have to worry about it for a while but, i do let him help me with some things like when I go to do a tarot reading I put his hands and my hands around the deck and pull our energy together for a certain question I need answered about us. I know things will change as he gets older but for right now I show him some things so, he won't be so freaked out when he finds out when he is older!!

[Sobek]

i dont plan on telling my kids untill they become interested and if they dont well thats life. not criticising you as a parent but i think taking them too church is wrong because as a youngen if they hear about the wonderful working of God and how bad witch craft is and such that may stick with them. i would ditch giving the kids a religion fix untill they choose thier own spiritual path.

-Sobek

[Addalaide]

I want to expose my kids to all the religions i can. Even if it means i have to take them to church. I dont want them to feel like sence i am Pagan thay have to be pagan also. My mom made me feel like that, well my intire family did. But there are coloring pages, and some ( well not lage) school curiculums based around the pagan religions. There are alot of websites that help parents explan to there kids that there not like evey one ealse, and its a good thing and not bad.

http://www.paganparenting.com/

http://www.musicforthegoddess.com/parent/

http://www.homestead.com/crystalforest1 ... nting.html

I cant wait to have kids! It will still probly be a fue years though. but i have looked things up befor, just go to google and type in pagan parenting and alot of things come up.