I think my Matron might have changed with me

[frostarei]

I was so certain for so long ever since I was 13 that Morrigan was the particular face of my chosen goddess. In general I've always found myself to have more of a clarity on the masculine side. Cernunnos is the only god who has ever reached out to me and I was so young even. It never left me. Anyway, Morrigan was 'her' for me all throughout my teenage years and my early twenties. I was clever and strong and intriguing and I was an example of her powerful influence. Then in my mid twenties, adult life smacked me in the face so hard I sank into a horrible depression, I really didn't reach for the craft or even think of my faith. I just kinda died a little each day. It was a really hard time. I'm heading into my early thirties now, and who I am vs who I was has changed so much. What kind of woman I've become vs what sort of girl I was is just so different. My patron lord has always been there but he just couldn't help me with my feminine identity or energy.

This may seem like I read into it too much but I very vividly remember a particularly gloomy day during my depressed state. Outside there were crows and while they sometimes came around I'd never heard them caw so much. It felt like I was being laughed at. As I look back on that I wonder if my weak state then was offensive to Morrigan. She isn't exactly known to value weakness or helplessness over independence and wildness. Because I really wasn't thinking about my faith much, she just kind of faded. For a long time now I've felt a void in the matron aspect of my faith. Except...

Brighid. The name started popping up for me a lot lately. A major thing that has changed about me lately is my aptitude and the necessity in my life to nurture and protect. I have a young child in my care (quite suddenly actually like within the last year) I started a job in Home Health Care helping the elderly and I seem to care so much more about the organization and functionality of my home lately. Not my house, not my place, my home. I've become a lot more 'by the book' about things refusing to break little dumb rules or whatever and I used to be quite the rebel. You know like in an enchanting sort of way not a criminal.

I have been pouring over Brighid's stuff and that she is labeled 'St.' is something I have some personal reservations about. That she was 'relabeled' for better conversion bothers me and I'm not really sure why that is. I feel like if anything all that change and adaptability should provide better clarity. I'm just reserved because the current Brighid makes me feel a little bit squeamish. Cross bearing saint is a far cry from hearth fire goddess of poetry and inspiration. I'm sorry if I seem ignorant, this is simply my impression of her based what texts I've read so far. Has anyone experienced something like this regarding their diety? Has it changed for you and how did the new one come to you?

[SpiritTalker]

I'd made a comment on your "liberating waterfall" dream that relates here...

... All indications of spiritual growth. And that relates back to the other question about Goddess shift from the self-attuned Morrigan to the nurturing Brigid...being more attuned with the collective well-being. Perhaps the crows weren't laughing at you, but were cheering you on.

I'm of the all-goddesses-are-one-goddess, all-gods-are-one-god with-but-one-Initiator school of thought. Each persona appears as different aspects or facets of the One gem. We relate to different facets of Her/Him as we shift our focus & awareness thru life's adventurous travels. Because we are emotional beings we perceive & interact with god-forms as individuals. That's how their energy is expressed into our physical realm, as I perceive it.

And that having been said, regarding your asking about other's experiences; my sparse god-form interaction has been through vivid dreams. Egyptian Anubis pointed the way thru an underworld labyrinth beneath a pyramid to introduce me to the Craft, & later Norse Thor literally piloted me in his sky-blue Thunderbird into the over world realm. Both were one-on teaching dreams. Spontaneous input via Mother Nature is at Her pleasure & can be intense.

I'm more or less secular, folk WC & don't follow the practice of working pantheons or with manifesting god-form energies. No doubt that's why it took 25 years to learn the Goddess' name. I take them as they come & we rub along ok.

[Siona]

In my experience, it is very rare for a person to have a single patron, or pair, that stays their one and only for their entire life. Not impossible, mind you, there are some out there where that's certainly the case, but for many deities can come and go, or take a backseat at times. A new deity is the focus for a while, then the old patron returns. That deity had something to teach. Or, perhaps, the old patron gave you lessons to prepare for the next. Or, you will find more than a single god and single goddess, instead coming as groups or whole pantheons... It's a very individual thing. My patron has not only changed, my entire pantheon went through a major upheaval during one point in my life. Every deity I had known stepped back, and pointed to a new goddess from a different part of the world.

Discomfort and reservations about aspects of a deity, or parts of a deity's history are also fairly normal for many people. It's something to work through, and something that can aid in growth. But in this case, I think you will notice many of Brigid's elements are quite the same, goddess or saint. The hearth and healing goddess, who as a saint was known for feeding and healing the poor. Having to be fed from a white cow with red ears as an infant, or the fire that burned from her crib, sounds more pagan than Christian. The goddess of smiths who, as saint, created a school for art, including metalworking. The sacred flame that was kept burning, by pagans or by Christians.

As another example, here is a prayer said to Saint Brigid, written/used by Catholics who honor her...
Hearth Keeper Prayer
Brigid of the Mantle, encompass us,
Lady of the Lambs, protect us,
Keeper of the Hearth, kindle us.
Beneath your mantle, gather us,
And restore us to memory.
Mothers of our mother, Foremothers strong.
Guide our hands in yours,
Remind us how to kindle the hearth.
To keep it bright, to preserve the flame.
Your hands upon ours, Our hands within yours,
To kindle the light, Both day and night.
The Mantle of Brigid about us,
The Memory of Brigid within us,
The Protection of Brigid keeping us
From harm, from ignorance, from heartlessness.
This day and night,
From dawn till dark, From dark till dawn.

If you told me that was a traditional (or modern) pagan prayer to Brigid, I'd have no reason to doubt it. There is a lot there to explore and unpack, how goddess becomes saint, and it might even be the discomfort is a sign of why this goddess has come to you, because there is something there that you might find benefit in working through.

[frostarei]

Thank you o.o thank you thank you. I've been looking things up all day about her and I hadn't come across that!

[Middleagedseeker]

In my experience, it is very rare for a person to have a single patron, or pair, that stays their one and only for their entire life. Not impossible, mind you, there are some out there where that's certainly the case, but for many deities can come and go, or take a backseat at times. A new deity is the focus for a while, then the old patron returns. That deity had something to teach. Or, perhaps, the old patron gave you lessons to prepare for the next. Or, you will find more than a single god and single goddess, instead coming as groups or whole pantheons... It's a very individual thing. My patron has not only changed, my entire pantheon went through a major upheaval during one point in my life. Every deity I had known stepped back, and pointed to a new goddess from a different part of the world.

Discomfort and reservations about aspects of a deity, or parts of a deity's history are also fairly normal for many people. It's something to work through, and something that can aid in growth. But in this case, I think you will notice many of Brigid's elements are quite the same, goddess or saint. The hearth and healing goddess, who as a saint was known for feeding and healing the poor. Having to be fed from a white cow with red ears as an infant, or the fire that burned from her crib, sounds more pagan than Christian. The goddess of smiths who, as saint, created a school for art, including metalworking. The sacred flame that was kept burning, by pagans or by Christians.

As another example, here is a prayer said to Saint Brigid, written/used by Catholics who honor her...
Hearth Keeper Prayer
Brigid of the Mantle, encompass us,
Lady of the Lambs, protect us,
Keeper of the Hearth, kindle us.
Beneath your mantle, gather us,
And restore us to memory.
Mothers of our mother, Foremothers strong.
Guide our hands in yours,
Remind us how to kindle the hearth.
To keep it bright, to preserve the flame.
Your hands upon ours, Our hands within yours,
To kindle the light, Both day and night.
The Mantle of Brigid about us,
The Memory of Brigid within us,
The Protection of Brigid keeping us
From harm, from ignorance, from heartlessness.
This day and night,
From dawn till dark, From dark till dawn.

If you told me that was a traditional (or modern) pagan prayer to Brigid, I'd have no reason to doubt it. There is a lot there to explore and unpack, how goddess becomes saint, and it might even be the discomfort is a sign of why this goddess has come to you, because there is something there that you might find benefit in working through.

This prayer to St Brigid is beautiful and rings a bell with me!