Everything Under the Moon

Tales of the dead who scour the planes,
of eldritch horrors. Our life-force it drains.
Unspeakable stories told only in whispers.
A terror in our minds that couldn't be crisper.
Howls echoing into the night.
Yet you know this couldn't be right.
Seeing things you can't comprehend.
Chilled to your soul, this could be the end.
Distortions and beings that shouldn't be there.
As quick as they came, they vanish to the air.
Unknown entities that dwell between worlds.
From the ether that spun and wirled.
Those untold horrors that wrack our mind.
Not knowing what knowledge they left behind.

Yet another beautiful poem!

i dont really know what to say about that one.

there is definately something there i like but i dont think it's the words. i'll read it some more and see if i can figure it out to get back to you.

Definately cthulu-esque.

I have to agree with Sobek, it isn't the words. I like that you get the fleeting thoughts and half-formed feelings and fears across, but the words themselves seem lacking... but then, Lovecraft himself was bad for that. The 'scariest' parts were the ones where he refused to describe them, leaving it instead to the dark parts of your imagination.

Thank you all for the feedback.

Thats exactly what I was going for. Simple words, nothing flashy, but still having an eerie edge to the end result.

ah, more deceptive poetry, the people around here are good for it. I can usually spot such things but the words hid it well.

Sorry Wolf, I almost missed it.

This, I think, is one of the best of your dark stuff. The last line is a great closer.

More of a Poe fan, I've only read two Lovecraft stories (one was in public school and I can't even remember it) and the other was "At the Mountains of Madness." I did enjoy "Mountains'" sense of desolate isolation and the way Lovecraft exposes the hideousness, in the mind, of the strange and alien; the unknown.

The only constructive criticism I could offer would be that the line: "Chilled to your soul, this could be the end" is either a little weak/obvious, or a bit out of place. Don't get me wrong though, it's probably only my personal sense of style talking. It's been months since I've written, so I'm not sure I trust my sense at the moment.

cheers,

T. Guy.

well, to be honest, that line was pretty much a last ditch effort because I couldn't think of anything else that rhymed

Hmm I have a suggestion for that line...

'Your eyes to your soul see glimpses of the end".

Or something along those lines.