Seriously need advice-getting desperate

[protectme]

Here is my dilemna. I used to not believe in curses or anything like that, but now I do. I feel sure someone (don't know who) has put a curse or hex on me and it's been working the last 4 years.

Here is the reason I feel that way- For the last 4 years my life has gone to hell. Times that were supposed to be the happiest were all miserable. I have become broke and unable to find a job. Even fast food places won't hire me. Before all this I could walk in a place like that and get hired on the spot. But I can put out 20 applications, maybe 2 call back for interviews and nothing happens. I've had the hardest time finding any good friendships. I tried to start internet and home businesses but that didn't succeed. I've been trapped in a place I don't want to be because I can't afford to leave. My health has suffered. I've been isolated. And lots, lots more. That is the very short summary.

Now there are sayings about hard work paying off, being rewarded for your efforts, etc. I have tried good old fashioned giving it my best, giving it everything I have, hard work, patience, and even prayer, but none of that has helped. It's like I am punished instead of rewarded for everything I try.

And worse of all I have had to go thru everything alone. I have no support or guidance. Every time I try to reach out for help it is ignored.

Lately I've turned to wicca and spells. I have read a lot about spells and even tried it but I still need a lot of practice, information, and supplies. I am trying to learn all I can. I have also been on many spell sites. There are sites that you can order spells from experienced spell caster or so it says. And I also see spells of hexes or curses that basically ruins someone's life and there is nothing they can do about it. They just have to live out their tragic life where nothing goes right. I feel like that is exactly the kind of thing someone placed on me. And scary enough some of them say "There is no cure" "This is not reversable". I do not want to be stuck with an unremovable curse.

So I don't know what to do so I am asking you all for advice.

Is there anything I can do? Should I buy some money, luck, revenge or protection spell? I don't have a penny to waste on something that doesn't work. I have tried praying and religion and all that but nothing has worked. Is there anything that can help?

[LaFiamma]

Here is my dilemna. I used to not believe in curses or anything like that, but now I do. I feel sure someone (don't know who) has put a curse or hex on me and it's been working the last 4 years.

Here is the reason I feel that way- For the last 4 years my life has gone to hell. Times that were supposed to be the happiest were all miserable. I have become broke and unable to find a job. Even fast food places won't hire me. Before all this I could walk in a place like that and get hired on the spot. But I can put out 20 applications, maybe 2 call back for interviews and nothing happens. I've had the hardest time finding any good friendships. I tried to start internet and home businesses but that didn't succeed. I've been trapped in a place I don't want to be because I can't afford to leave. My health has suffered. I've been isolated. And lots, lots more. That is the very short summary.

Now there are sayings about hard work paying off, being rewarded for your efforts, etc. I have tried good old fashioned giving it my best, giving it everything I have, hard work, patience, and even prayer, but none of that has helped. It's like I am punished instead of rewarded for everything I try.

And worse of all I have had to go thru everything alone. I have no support or guidance. Every time I try to reach out for help it is ignored.

Lately I've turned to wicca and spells. I have read a lot about spells and even tried it but I still need a lot of practice, information, and supplies. I am trying to learn all I can. I have also been on many spell sites. There are sites that you can order spells from experienced spell caster or so it says. And I also see spells of hexes or curses that basically ruins someone's life and there is nothing they can do about it. They just have to live out their tragic life where nothing goes right. I feel like that is exactly the kind of thing someone placed on me. And scary enough some of them say "There is no cure" "This is not reversable". I do not want to be stuck with an unremovable curse.

So I don't know what to do so I am asking you all for advice.

Is there anything I can do? Should I buy some money, luck, revenge or protection spell? I don't have a penny to waste on something that doesn't work. I have tried praying and religion and all that but nothing has worked. Is there anything that can help?

Well, first off...Wicca is a religion..so you're still turning to religion if you're trying to use it to do somethign about your life. Second of all, spells do not equal Wicca. Wicca is a religion and there are specific practices that go with it. If you're interested in the religion, study the religion and learn about it...but keep in mind that it is not a cure-all for what ails us.

Second of all, if you think that you're hexed, cursed, whatever....it only has as much power over you as you give it. Stop believing it. You're just continuing to feed it and it becomes self-perpetuating. In essence, eve if someone did put a curse on you...some very strong, focused energy would have to keep it going for that long. If anyhting, your fear and believig it is doing this.

take a break from lookig for spell and hex sites on the internet, they're fueling your fear.

Second of all...job searches are like that. I was recently unemployed for six months and one of my roommates is going through the same thing now. It sucks, it blows it bites. But it's not that someone's put a curse on you.

Don't waste your money on buying spells. Write all your fears and concerns down, draw pictures of everything, get it out on paper. be as angry or as pleading and begging or whatever you need to be, as much as you need to be. then burn it, or tear it into confettin and flush it down the toilet. let your fear and belief in any curse be carried with it. do it whenever you need to. Every time you take a bath or a shower, think of your fear washing away with the dead skin and grime that washes off of you. Think of the curse being carried away with it.

[Vigdisdotter]

Here is my dilemna. I used to not believe in curses or anything like that, but now I do. I feel sure someone (don't know who) has put a curse or hex on me and it's been working the last 4 years.

To be perfectly honest, it's very unlikely that you've been cursed. As a friend of mind used to say, "it's FAR easier to go and slash his tires then to put the energy into a curse."

Why would you be worth that much energy to someone?

It could very well be that your curse is your own expectations. We humans are VERY good at messing up our lives without any outside help. Add in normal life stresses and it's easy to start thinking the world is gunning for you.

Instead of blaming a curse (which it could be, but you've got a LOT of other possibilities first) start with yourself and your attitude. Take a good, long, deep look at the events in your life and what was going on around them, as well as your own ideas.

Really if you say you are cursed, you subconscious mind will MAKE it happen, even when there is no curse. This is called a self-fulfilling prophecy and only you have the power to break it since its' of your creation in the first place.

Before all this I could walk in a place like that and get hired on the spot.

You do realize that economies and hiring practises change, yes?

I've had the hardest time finding any good friendships.

It happens.

My health has suffered.

Stress will do that you.

And worse of all I have had to go thru everything alone. I have no support or guidance. Every time I try to reach out for help it is ignored.

You don't really think you're unique in that respect, do you? It happens to a lot of people every day.

I do not want to be stuck with an unremovable curse.

My gut keeps telling me that there is no curse. So at the risk of sounding like a big meanie pooh pooh head, I'm going to again suggest that you take a long hard look in the mirror first; look at your life and how you are going about it. Be honest. Don't take the easy out of "it's a curse." your woes aren't anything new or special. I know many people personally (including myself) that went through what you've described and more without the benefit of being cursed.

So take a deep breath and get ready for some soul searching. That is where you answer will lay.

[protectme]

Thanks for the replies.

I know Wicca is a way of life and I have been studying a lot and trying to learn a lot about it. Like many I am also interested in the magickal side of it. I wish I knew Witches in person, I think that's the best way to learn.

Also I hope I am not cursed. Like I said I used to not even believe in curses. But after being stuck for so long and things keep getting worse despite how hard I try to make them better and things have gotten worse than I could have imagined it's hard not to. I keep thinking what did I do to deserve this? I would really prefer to believe there's no curse.

Also like everthing else, different Wiccans have different views. On some Wicca sites it says if you keep having "bad luck" then someone probably put a curse on you. And then the sites that say it just takes one spell to curse someone for their entire life. I know this is fueling my fear but when you get confused you don't know what to believe.

And I know very well I am not the only peson in the world who has problems. I know there are people who are living under harsher conditions than me. I don't mean to imply I'm the only one in the world suffering. But my thing is, it seems everyone else has someone at least to be there for them. Most people have family, I literally have no family to support me, not even 1 person. I wish I had a sister or someone where we could just support each other but I have to keep everything to myself. It seems like even people going through horrible things have a mom, aunt, cousins, sister, best friend, someone to be there.

Now I will try to convince myself there is no curse.

[Vigdisdotter]

I keep thinking what did I do to deserve this?

What answer have you come up with? If you say nothing, then you've got a much bigger problem then a supposed curse.

Yes, life can suck. So can other people. Job hunting can be a real blow to your self-esteem. But in the end it does come down to you.

The last time I took my FoodSafe course, there as this guy in it. He'd been a chef for 12 years, no formal training, but lots of the the job qualifications. He had been looking for work for two years and no one would touch him. He SAID it was because he didn't' have his FoodSafe (hence his being in the program) but after spending five minutes with him I could say without any doubt in my mind that the reason no one would touch him was his attitude. He came off as if he thought the world owed him and he was doing any employer a favour by working for them. And he couldn't see that his attitude was causing his problems.

But my thing is, it seems everyone else has someone at least to be there for them.

Then you really aren't looking very hard. Next time you walk down a down town street, pay attention to the kid begging for enough money to get a coffee.

You know, my local mental health agency is closing down for Xmas. All their patients will be discharged....and the only place those people have is the street.

Now I will try to convince myself there is no curse.

That would be wishful thinking at this point. Are you ready to take a hard look at YOUR life and YOUR choices? If not, then I wouldn't bother wisting the energy to convince yourself your don't' believe in a curse being the cause, because it won't work. In order to be convinced, you need to be able to SHOW yourself that there is better, more plausible explanation, and that means being honest with yourself....not the most fun thing to do.

[LaFiamma]

In 1997, I was 18 and miserable. My life was, to put it shortly, a wreck. My best friend died, my family was in shambles, my school was in an uproar and I was trying to get into college. No clue how I made it through that year, but somehow I did. I graduted and moved to Texas two months later. Two years later, I was happy for the first time in my life, really, truly happy. I had everyhtign going for me. college was great, I had tons of amazing friends, I was the assistant manager for the school radio station, a member of a student filmmaker's group that was visited by Billy Bob Thornton, I learned to speak Italian, I was working on two degrees....then blam. In a week's time I was forcedto drop out of school and move back to my parents' home. Initially, I was supposed to return to school the next semester, but that never happened. Then I was loking at applying to other schools. Again, it wasn't possible. I was unable to find a job for six months, and when I finally did get employed, it was barely above minimum wage retail work. I had no friends- my high school friends were either living elsewhere, at college, or dealing with kids/family etc. Four four years, I was depressed on and off, unemployed on and off- more on than off, miserable becuse of my family- my stepfather was abusive towards my brothers, my grandparents were causing trouble, my sister had a baby to a guy that threatened to kill me, you get the idea. One day I managed to scrape some mney together and signed up for a couple of classes at a local art school. I attended one class meeting and things really spiked, I suddenly thought that I would have to find another place to live on a moment's notice...that blew over, but not before I was forced to withdraw from the class...on and on and on for four years. and then one day, my parents were moving out of their house- I was going to live with a family friend, and that very suddely became an extremely bad idea. On a week's notice, I had to make a descision...go with a relatively safeoption of staying with my mother and stepfather at his mother's house, moving in with my father or moving in with my grandmo0ther- I could not have emotionally handled any of these options. I moved to another state on a week's notice with $50 to my name and no job prospects. I was hellbent on never living with my family again and dealing with all these thigns that definitely felt like a curse. It's been a bumpy ride, but it's almost 4 years later and I'm still here. I've moved around more times than I care to think about (finally settled into a place last ywar), I was recently unemployed for almost 6 months and almost had my electricturned off every month, I have friends again, and about a year and a half after I moved here, I found my Grove where I've been involved for over two years now. Things eventually worked out for me. I had to go through four years of misery and not knowing what to do. And it was extremely sudden and while it was a good thing because I wanted to leave, it was still fairly traumatic.

I'm not saying that you have to hit the bottom befre things getbetter, but sometimes things suck for a while. And you know, on my worst days where I am now, I always think "It could be worse...I could be living back in my hometown working a dead-end retail job and dealing with my family every day."

Think about what needs to happen to change your situation. Think about the things that are within your control, the things that are partially within your control, and the ones that aren't. Do what you can with what control you have. Is your health suffering? Think about your diet and sleep habits to begin with. And stress. Stress makes everything so much worse.

And things that are partially in your control? You can send out a billion resumés, but you can't really control who calls you back...but what can you do to make more of them want to call you back? Have someone that knows about these things check out your resumé and suggest ways to make it better. See if your local department of labor has some kind of career center. I know mine does, it's completely free, and they have all kinds of resources from job bulletin boards, to resumé and interview workshops to self-paced training on computers and different programs.

The things that aren't in your control? I dunno...pray. That's what I do anyway.

[jcrowfoot]

I don't know if you need any more advice after that, but in case you do, here's my two cents:
Use an uncrossing spell to get your mind out of the whole "curse" thing. That way, wether or not a curse is involved you are covered. Find an uncrossing spell from a writer you trust. I know people here don't like Cunningham, but "When you think you are cursed, you are!"

Some things to think about:
You may want to do something like a "turn over a new leaf" kind of ritual, to divorce your thinking from the way you have been thinking before. It's up to you wether you make this a part of the uncrossing or not. Make some active statement to the Universe and your subconcious mind that you are going to make a active difference in your life for the better.
If it suits you, you could even write a contract with yourself over it.
Then, start working on your depression. After a recient history like that, it's clear that you are. Have you been depressed before? Do the things that make you want to get up in the morning. Remind yourself why you want to experiance continued existance. Those are the things that make you want to live and breathe. It's going to be difficult at first. I know. I've been there. And the real secret is to keep trying, and to make your mood a priority. Do at least one thing a day that will make you smile. That way you have something to look forward to, something to fight for.
Then, reward yourself for working hard. Do another ritual after a week. Then after three weeks and so on.

[jcrowfoot]

I should clarify something.
First, it is possible to curse one's self. That's what I meant about "If you think you are cursed, you are." This is why I think the spell should go ahead.

I tend to use magic for psychological reasons, to boost my psyche for the next go around of reality. =)

[blackrose]

hey there, u probably dont need anymore advice, so all im going to say is that there are always people around you who will listen, but first you have to believe in yourself! As soon as you do you will feel better and things will start looking up for you. The most magical thing in the world is you, your mind so please believe and be happy!

Blackrose xx