Out of the Closet?

[jcrowfoot]

Back when I lived in South East Michigan, I was completely out: my whole family knew, my coworkers knew, all my friends knew.

But, frankly, it was easy to be out there. Everyone knew about it, and no body cared, or if they did it was, "well, hey, do you want to go to that open ritual with me?" Ok, the aethiests thought you were silly, but then, the majority of those that I knew thought all religionists were silly anyway. Sure I'd been hastled a few times, but it was mostly just generic stupidity.

The thing is, after about 5 or so years of being out to my family, my father got very sick with cancer. He converted to a rather hostile Protestant flavor, then proceded to disown me on his deathbed. This is from the guy who was my rolemodel and the origin of my personal ethics. It was a difficult blow.

I wound up dealing with this by going back again and reading to him the entire "Jonnathan Livingston Seagull" since that was my first brush with spirituality that interested me. My father had bought that book for me, the library edition, no less... for my 9th birthday.
He was unable to speak at that point, but it was notible that he'd stayed awake through out the whole reading. (he had a tendency to wake up and sleep every few minutes at that point) He was looking at me with this really intense look, and started to weep. He reached over and grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I felt he'd forgiven me... words weren't necessasary. The next day, he died.

So I guess I'm a little hesitant to come out here in Indiana. Dispite being close to Chicago, it's very rural. I have a friend here who knows, but I met her on the meetup site for witches so I guess that doesn't count. I'd feel wierd if my neighbors knew. The irony is that in SEMI, I had a Baptist Church sharing my property line along the back... and I had a stone circle, complete with witchy garden back there.

The real difference is that my fiancee is Catholic. Yes, I know. You can *bet* he knows. He's a very open minded and loving person. He's an Andrew Greeley Catholic. (If you don't know who Andrew Greeley is, he's a mystery writer, who also has a few "romances", and has a very interesting slant on Catholicism. He also refers to God as <i> She</i>. Anyway, his mysteries rock!)
I guess I worry how the people he hangs with judge him about him marrying me. I recognise that this is silly, but that doesn't stop me from worrying.

[LostMuse]

i live in "the bible belt". i find that christians who know i am wiccan either accept it, or are afraid of me. the worst are the atheists, from whom you get all sorts of silly comments like, "so you're a witch? prove it! do a spell so i will win the lottery." ex-bf was like that and i found it insulting and hurtful. i really do not understand why it is so hard for atheists to accept that others have beliefs. or why they often think that beliefs cannot co-exist with scientific knowledge. belief is just that, and for me it is separate from science. i do not try to "prove" i am "right", because i don't believe that anyone's path is "more true" than anyone else's. for some reason, this drives them mad.

i think your intended can sort out his friends - if they are good ones they will want happiness for him.

[Sri Krishna]

Oh my yes. Ive have sometimes accidentally made some not so open minded Christians and some not so open minded atheists angry with me without wanting or intending to. Sometimes people are just so very attached to their views and you just got to be careful of what you say. The strange thing is Im happy for other peoples beliefs and don't feel the need to convince anyone of anything. But Im very glad you were able to have that experience with your father before he died.

[Roze Red]

Ive been out of the "broom closet" for about... 4 years... even though I was interested in the crafts since I was in 5th grade and started studying it more heavily in 7th/8th grade... my parents were horrified at first, being catholic, but they visited me at the circle of the blue moon sammhein festival here in shelbyville and now are pretty accepting about it. In fact, my mom loves learning about the aspects of the goddess...

[jcrowfoot]

Wow. I almost completey forgot I made this post. It's still true, the families in my neighborhood don't know I'm pagan. But they DO know I'm a slob! blah.

The only other thing that worries me is kids. I actually want a couple in a year or two. I know they have to be taught catholic doctorine, and I'm fine with that, as LONG as they are allowed to learn OTHER stuff, too. Like my religion.

However, I'm putting the cart before the horse. After all, I'm not even sure I *can* have kids.

[Istaqa]

Glad you found and bumped the old post , the story of you time with your father was beautiful

[jcrowfoot]

Thank you. It was a hard thing at the time, and it changed me on a very deep level. A part of me died the night he died... and I felt his body cease to function... I mean literally. I dreamed I was in his body and I could feel the sharp lumpy cancer and the fluid in his lungs and all the details of the nastyness... and I felt him die. I felt the cold wind of his soul move upward, and I saw him mount an escalator into the heavens and sorrounded by singing angels and the like. It was a very Christian thing, but he was Christian, so it follows. It did make me afraid to approach him on the spiritual level, since the Christian God has him.

But I'm resigned to the fact that my life is all about working towards harmony between Christians and Pagans. My sweetie calls me "Reverse Paul". When he first called me this I collapsed and laughed for about 2 minutes.

After all, Jesus told me to be pagan, I'm female, I sit a lot in one place and write to people saying over and over again, "yeah, DO that!"

Also, some of my best friends are transvestites, trannies, pagans and queers.

[WolfWitch]

I have a freind back home whom is my spiritual rock. It's not far from you, just on the Ky. side of the Ohio River. Growing up under the "Buckle" of the Bible belt, I can understand your hesitation. Feeling it out here in VaBeach. the 700 club and CBN are less than five miles or so from my house.

At least you have us.

Best wishes.

WW.