Fluffy bunnies and superiority complexes

[Storm]

The term 'fluffy bunny' is thrown around a lot, and its use is sometimes really quite offensive.

About 7/8 years ago, when I was new to the craft, I met up with some pagans at a moot. They swiftly dubbed me their 'newest fluffy' because I was so new and, not knowing what it meant, I laughed along with them. I would ask a question, and they would smile smugly, pat me on the back and say 'Don't worry, you'll learn little fluffy'. Strangely enough, I learned nothing from them and after a few meetings I didn't go back.

Anyway - the term 'fluffy' is used to label those very new to the craft, or those that some people think have not understood the 'true' meaning of witchcraft. It strikes me as odd that we frequently bang on about 'your path is the right path for you' and 'no-one can tell you how to be a witch - you discover it in your heart', and how much we despise labels...... and then we slap a degrading label on anyone that we think has not understood what witchcraft is 'really' about, or one that does not take it seriously enough. So someone likes unicorns and cute fairies, they say 'love and light' a lot and they steer clear of Goddesses such as Kali and Ereshkigal because they think they're too scary? So what? That's their deal. Their life. Their path.

Which of us can say what 'true' witchcraft is? Ask ten witches what witchcraft is and you will probably hear ten different replies.

Yes - I become annoyed with witches who tell me that they can make their bed with their minds and that they can read the mind of anyone they choose (Really - so what am I thinking now?? ).

However, it is the superiority complexes that some 'more experienced' pagans and witches display that really gets up my nose. Those who wave their Third Degree in your face and tell you that it makes them a better witch than you. There are those that certainly do see witchcraft as a hierarchical system and they want to claw their way to 'the top' and gloat over the 'power' and status it has given them. I have met such people.

No-one is a 'perfect' witch. I can be bitchy, short-tempered and sarcastic (there's plenty of evidence of that in this very forum ). But it seems to me that the term 'fluffy bunny' is often used to elavate the person using the term above those that they slap this label onto. Not everyone uses it in a degrading manner. But many do.

We're all learning. Every day. Someone might have a wealth of knowledge about mythology and various pantheons. Does it make them a better witch? Another might have never heard of Crowley or Gardner, they might not know what an athame or boline is... but they know which herb can cure which ailment and they feel an affinity with all plants.

What is it that I'm really saying? Each to their own.

Anyway. Rant over. At least for today

[Sobek]

i have to say, that too me does in now way shape or form fit into the category of "rant", it speaks to me as a comment on the human psyche and our will for control whether intended or not, or i could just be seeing things that arent really there but either way relevant, ive never really given much though when i see the term "fluffy bunny".

like the way i see it, new or not, like storm said theres always something new to learn, but the newbies however wrong they may be just need some guidance and if they like what they discover good for them.

but its not right to label someone with a label that reeks of ridicule just because thier knowledge isnt as great as that of others.

[Storm]

Let's just say it was a controlled rant

Swearing and screeching would have probably just made me look like a screaming banshee..... which sometimes isn't all that far from the truth..

[Eretik]

my tuppence worth. I think each to their own, but I dislike 'my way is the only way' and I've seen that so many times it drives me nuts. I dislike all organisations, I hate hierarchy in all it's forms - but I know sometimes organisation is necessary, so I try not to be too judgemental, I know it can sometimes be positive and I understand some people need that sense of belonging, which comes from being in an organised group. I don't regard newbies as fluffies, just as others say, people who sometimes need some guidance or teaching. I do regard some as fluffies, but those are the ones who preach a particular way as the only 'right' way. I have had experiences with those types,regarding such things as Karma, the rule of three and rebound, in particular. I know , we don't all agree on these concepts and if someone lives by these rules, I don't think that's bad, but I don't need or want someone to tell me, I must too. One site I used to use was full of those who were self congratulatory, cliquey and self-satisfied. They would not hear of condradictory experience, belief or paths. I like to learn and hope that I have an open mind, I am interested in other's paths and while I may not share methods or beliefs, I hold that others have as much right to believe their own ways, as I do. I just hate being preached to or 'saved'. I can show my bad, grumpy, side sometimes and I am sorry for that, we all have our moments. I like this board, we disagree sometimes, like any mixed bunch will, but I think we are open and accomodating to new and experienced alike. Sorry for the long post, but I just wanted to say what my 'concept' of a fluffy is, I could give examples of conversations and statements, some of which are toe- curlers, but it would turn this into a book.

[Storm]

One site I used to use was full of those who were self congratulatory, cliquey and self-satisfied.

Yeah - I've had my fair share of those. On the web and in real life. Now I'm a very solitary solitary - voicing my grumps on here

[LaFiamma]

I think that the term "fluffy bunny" gets a bit over used, and used by some in a completely wrong context. Being new and not knowing does not make one a fluffy bunny. I would say that your having asked questions and being willing to learn would make you the very opposite.



That said...when someone tells me that I'm wrong/bad/not a "real" pagan because I'm not Wiccan, don't cast circles or call quarters, actually plan rituals instead of pulling them out of my nether orifice, worship one god over all other deities, don't believe in prehistorical matriarchy or a universal mother goddess, don't cast spells, am a hard polytheist, etc etc etc..."fluffy bunny" is one of the nicer names that I can come up with.

[Storm]

That said...when someone tells me that I'm wrong/bad/not a "real" pagan because I'm not Wiccan, don't cast circles or call quarters, actually plan rituals instead of pulling them out of my nether orifice, worship one god over all other deities, don't believe in prehistorical matriarchy or a universal mother goddess, don't cast spells, am a hard polytheist, etc etc etc..."fluffy bunny" is one of the nicer names that I can come up with.

Ah yes. I know those. The names I have for them are unprintable here lest I be booted off the forum

[Sercee]

Personally I have no problems using the term. But I have a hard rule on any kind of insult (one in particular often used to describe women who sell themselves): I won't use it without either a) thinking about whether that actually fits the actions of the person, b) considering if it had been me or if I was once like that, and c) is it in a jesting context?

I can definately say I was once a fluffy bunny. Not as bad as a lot of people, but I was. My main definition for a fluffy is 'someone who makes generalized statements about witchcraft or paganism without thinking about it or being willing to learn that they may be wrong'. Therefore, if someone says dumb things like 'athames are never supposed to be sharp, that's just christian propoganda' and they refuse to listen to others then they are a fluffy. Therefore I was a fluffy until I realized that I wasn't an expert on the subject after reading one book and hanging out with a few gothy-pagan types. (By the way that was over 10 years ago LOL)

There are some people on this forum who have been labelled 'fluffies' in the past. Some of them are still deserving of the title. However, some of them have been making a genuine effort to learn differently. Watch their posts: see who's ideas and perceptions are changing. Watch your own posts: are your changing? You don't have to be a newbie to be a fluffy. Just unwilling to learn.

[Sercee]

BTW Storm, I call your post a rant. But it's a healthy one

[Lucine]

Storm very well put. I don't care if people use the term though it tells me much more about that person than the one they lable. Besides, I like fluffy bunnies, I am considering getting one. I don't know if I can though, my daughter might be allergic.

[sofia]

The term is a sore spot for me too...we're all learning, and even the ones who consider themselves the keepers of ultimate truth will eventually be taught a lesson in humility, and realize they don't know as much as they thought they did.

[LostMuse]

the cliques, the "i-am-more-enlightened-than-thou" thinking, the insistence that one has to take classes to be a "proper" pagan...all these things contributed to my being a solitary. i have seen these things online and in real life also.

not familiar with the term "fluffy bunny" but it sounds condescending. as pagans, we are often made fun of and treated like ignorant fools...you would think this would be enough to keep pagans from treating other pagans that way.

i think it's all about egotism and, well...ugh is all i can say to that!

[Sercee]

Lostmust: Check out this website www.wicca.timerift.net

It isn't so much about condescension (though it often ends up that way) so much as 'I'd like to teach that kid the right way but he is being ignorant by refusing to learn'.

Ignorance is contagious. It's easy to fall into it when you think someone else is being that way.

[Eretik]

If it 's someone just learning, they can get to Silver Ravenwolf etc. much easier than to the more respected[?] authors. I meant, knowldegable, sorry woozy today. You can get her books in all kinds of shops here, readily available and not as expensive as others. [ a consideration if you ae a teen, often skint] So that's why there are so many, of the confused types,but they will learn and develop, better to offer guidance than to be mean or critical. If they don't listen, you tried, a concerned but firm response is not uncalled for. The clever ones will think and come back . We've seen that here, on EUTM.I think the silliest questions are the ones you don't ask. I don't like to see bullying of newbs. and learners, I think all here would say the same, we know when someone's 'at it' or trolling, so why pick on the misguided. I don't see them as fluffy. I see the bulliers as fluffy, most of them are up their own arses - and would lose an argument against a more educated or experienced witch [ note these people don't do that, they usually suck up to their contemporaries] I've seen quite a bit of bad behaviour between Pagans online, a fair bit of 'bullying' goes on on some forums. [not here - tho' we argue sometimes, it's healthy] I don't like it. I 'm in a rambling mood today.

[Eir]

To me the term fluffy has nothing to do with being new to it. Fluffy is more a mindset, and if I use the term it's to indicate that the person isn't one I take too serious.