Possibly confusing...

[siriusrain]

Simply because it's confusing in my head at the time being and inevitably I feel I will babble some.

I feel I've hit a point in my life where I want something spiritual to fall back on. I've "dabbled" with the notion of dipping headlong into a pagan religion for years now, but I realize that I wasn't mature enough to handle it. Religion isn't something that I can see as being a choice for a day or on and off when it's convenient.

I do accept (and this is always damning phrase) that I have a slight attention span problem. I've been nearly to the point where I feel like I need to see a doctor or someone to find an outside way to calm my mind so that it can focus on things. I have difficulty keep a routine and it bothers me.

I understand that a positive outlook is the biggest key to reaching my goals, in this case calming what could possibly be ADD. I do worry that I will fall back into old routines and have difficulty finding the right path again. I feel like I need someone to look to in the sense of a teacher, but then I think why should I rely on someone else, is that more negative thought that I want to put something on someone else? Well what a circle I spawn from there.

I am a little like a small boat in the middle of a storm. There's land somewhere, but I can't see it through all of the rain. (Ah...the puns ensue...) I know that I am at a loss with my knowledge. ADD to my knowledge has always been something solved with Ritalin and a good dose of yelling to get the child to do what you want. My youngest brother was on it while going through school. I don't believe that he's continued it into his adulthood.

I don't think I have anything specific that I'm asking. Since I don't really know what I'm looking for. My positive affirmation for the day has been trying to get me a better job to help ease a lot of the negativity that's been in my life (long story in and of itself really.) ^_^ Overall I don't feel like I'm a very negative person, maybe just one that has the tendancy to collect a bit of energy that I don't need.

I just wanted to let out a bit of the nonsense inside I suppose. So...thanks for listening. ^_^

Rain

[Sobek]

"but then I think why should I rely on someone else, is that more negative thought that I want to put something on someone else? Well what a circle I spawn from there. "

thats not negative nor is anything youve said really, these days we have the resources to teach ourselves if we wish or there is no one suitable to play the mentor.

[[tasha]]

siriusrain, i could tell that post was from deep within your spirit. Life gets hard sometimes, and asking for help is never a crime, especially in paganism and wicca. Just take time to meditate when you can, no matter what religion you are, meditation is an incredible practice.