Grey

[Merlin.M.Stormcrow]

A beating pulse
Pounds in my ears
But the pulse grows weaker
Over the years

My veins turn black
My blood runs cold
My arms become weak
From nothing to hold

I’m losing my will
To persist to be here
And all I can do
Is conquer my fear

The crowds of people
Block my way
Whilst I continue
To grow old and grey

My skin turns pale
My eyes to black
I once faced the truth
But now I turn my back

My time is run out
Hourglass out of sand
But at least I held her face
One last time in my hands

Till Death ~Merlin ~

[sociopathic_leo]

intense feelings....

[Merlin.M.Stormcrow]

yes, now imagine actually feeling this, imagine that these are the last thigs that you feel before your final moment with your one true love. When one final moment can feel like an eternity of floating in the galaxy with that one person, that completes you....... Those where the feelings before my first love died.

[sociopathic_leo]

is this the same guy we've been talking about?

[Merlin.M.Stormcrow]

No, my first love died a few years ago, this other guy "the jerk" was a relationship last year.

[sociopathic_leo]

i didnt realize that he literally died. im so deeply sorry.

[Merlin.M.Stormcrow]

I appreciate the apology, It was a large loss, my life hasnt quite returned to its original place yet. I have been trapped in a sort of, limbo, if you will, a place of denial, I never accepted the fact that he died, even though I was holding his hand when he died, I watched the light fade from his eyes, and felt his pulse grow slower and slower, like a train easing to a stop. until.......he was gone.......and his heart rate moniter flat-lined....and that was the moment that I stopped believing in christ, if there was an actual christ watching over his "children" then he wouldn't have let matthew die the way he did.......The goddess was my true savior, she let him die,with me by his side, she accepted the fact that I loved him. and she knew that I would eventually find her path. That is where two lives ended, and only one began.......