I am new to the forum and decided today that I will search until I find exactly where I need to be.

: Today, I am asking for support from what I like to call my newly found friends.

I have had a lot of heartache and pain throughout my life and at this point, I am ready for a change! I don't want to get into the gruesome details of everything that I have been through, or for that matter what I am going through now but I want to be in a posistion where I can afford to provide for my family in all aspects. I lost my job in December because of the bad karma I created (at least thats what I believe). I am behind on my bills and can't afford to take care of my family like I would like to. My education is limited (on paper) and I have other issues in my life that I allow to burden me so I can't stay focused long enough to even begin looking into bettering my education.

I want to perform the spells I found but I can't afford to buy the materials/tools I need to perform them. I have a really hard time meditating and I don't understand it because I have allways been a naturally creative person until recently.

I want to help myself but I feel that I am getting no where. I don't have anyone to talk to that I can trust and this right now is my ONLY option

. I have a feeling that I am connected to someone in this forum that will help me, I just haven't found them yet

. I said I wouldn't make this long I am just typing what comes to mind anything that I think I can give for you all to be able to help me better. I don't know... I am so cofused about myself right now and I feel so bad because I think I am too old for this,

but in any event, I need to find my way. I do know exactly what I want for my life I just don't know what to do to get it. So PLEASE I ask if anyone could ever be so kind to send me blessings and energy of healing for my soul, heart and mind so that I can be clear and focus on those other things that means so much to me. Thankyou
Forever Greatful